f i f t e e n

Vernon feat. Eunwoo of Pledis Girlz - Sickness 

Taehyung comes home tonight which only surprises me. The state he was in made me doubt that he would come home. We don't utter a single word to each other. I examine his body image as the kids glomp him happily and Umma teases him relentlessly. Taehyung may be a talented actor but he doesn't fool me with a fake smile. He and I have a mutual agreement to co-operate in front of Umma and the children until the night ends. However, once the bedroom door closes, the facade drops. He doesn't speak to me and I don't speak to him.

It doesn't matter to me at all because those words in the emails are burning at the back of my head. Taehyung has no idea that I know of it. How long was he going to hide this from me?

He sits on the far edge of the bed, rearranging his satchel. I try and ease my nervousness so I attempt to sneak into the bathroom. However before I am able to push open the bathroom door, Taehyung's words come like clockwork. 

"Yura, were you looking through my bag?" He asks curtly and I feel his hard gaze against my back. "No," I lie, continuing to stare ahead against the wooden door. "I accidentally knocked down your satchel earlier and had to pick up the stuff, so sorry if anything's out of place."

He grunts and tosses the satchel down to his feet. The sheets move in the background of my p eripheral and I know Taehyung is about ready for sleep. I steal a glance at his back turned away from me.

I need more evidence.  The saesaeng was sketchy but I need incriminating evidence that will pin him down so hard he has no other choice but tell me the truth. As much as I would love to walk up to him and tell him what's on my mind, I could think of 10 different outcomes that will not end positively if I would do that. In order to preserve the future of our relationship and family, I will relunctantly bite down on my tongue for now.

I close the bathroom door behind me and sigh. I spend some moments in silence with my floating thoughts until I leave the bathroom. Taehyung is in bed but he isn't asleep yet because he hasn't assumed the dumb starfish pose. Remembering this strikes a sense of realization in me. I know all these little details about him, his behavior, mannerisms but lately, Taehyung has become some so unfamiliar and foreign to me. I had gone through the trouble of looking through his email so why should I stay quiet about something that should also be concerning me? I am his wife, not a vessel to bear his children and tend his home.  

I stare hard at one of the black and white portraits of our wedding. Taehyung and I were smiling so hard our faces looked like we were about to split apart. We had married a few months after graduating university. But here we were years later with 2 kids, trying to pretend that our marriage isn't dying. I've accepted it. The real question is has Taehyung accepted it either and what were we going to do about it.  I pick up the frame. I remember that I had kept the parchment that contained our vows. The paper falls onto my lap when I remove the backing of the clean black frame. It is tinged a slight yellow. I unfold it and begin to read aloud with my voice clear as day but soft as secret being told.

"Yura,

This may sound cliche but you had changed my life when I met you. I was an idiot who had no idea what I wanted to be. I was majoring general arts in hopes of finding a passion that could pay. You pushed me to pursue music despite the hardships of the industry. You kept me grounded when I was up in the clouds, reaching for the stars. You are the most supportive, smart, and beautiful person I know. So when you asked me out one day, I thought you were pulling a fast one on me. I was so sure I was friendzoned for life. But a miracle happened. And that miracle is standing in front of me. Yes, you may nag me. Yes, you're straightfoward and will tell me the truth faster than anyone. But I rather it be you then anyone else. So, Yura - you know, I'm not someone for words but I love you and that's the truth.

-Tae

Dear Taehyung,

I never expected to ever marry you -no offense. But, here we are now. The big day. Exams were slapping me left and right and I had no interest in you. I was seeing someone back then. I appreciated our friendship. You never hit on me. You were my outlet when things with Dongwoo and I got tense. You were the shoulder I cried on when Dongwoo and I went long distance. And then Taehyung, you were the one I asked out when I broke up with Dongwoo. I thank you for making my life amazing. I thank you for dragging me out for strange day trips to museums and hippie art galleries when I was dying underneath all my study notes. You brought me the rainbow after the storm and I love you for that. I promise to be right beside you forever and always.

~Yura."

I smile, reminiscing the times. Rereading the vows brings a warm flutter to my chest - a feeling I haven't felt for months. "What are you doing?" Taehyung asks. Resentment still lingers but his grogginess covers it up. I pretend not to notice.

"I'm rereading our vows..." I say, and fold the paper back to it's original shape.

"Yeah..." Taehyung replies, his arms sprawling. "Just- keep it down, alright? I have work tomorrow."

I force a smile and nod. Shoving the parchment back against the wedding portrait, I fix the clips on the frame and place it in it's original place next to my lamp. The light clicks off.

And tonight, I dream of nothing.

A/N:

325270: AHAHAHA, I'M SORRY! TMLOKT was updated weekly about a month ago and now...heh...we're back? I've been quite busy with my athletic activities (i.e. ultimate frisbee and track and field) along with the fact that my teachers are merciless. I'm basically trying to study for a science test right now while trying to complete this chapter .-. But good news is that track and field is over so that clears up a lot of my time! However I'll be volunteering in July so updates will be delayed then. I hope you all enjoy this chapter despite being kinda filler-ish. I wish you all the best luck as the summer approaches. Fighting!! ^_^

Kwon_Minyoung: Hi. For all y'all new peeps out there, im minyoung/miyoung! We're gone for liek a month and we got new peeps for da fam, yo. Nice. i was dead and dying because my teachers were flinging tests and projects errrwhere. but, eh, its expected since its around the end of the school year in my school. Also for the new readers, i get really lazy when i type these author notes mostly cuz my fingers are cramping so my grammar and whateves gets real weird. seriously. im sorry. for all the nice and wonderful readers who have been rooting for me and my crush, thank you. but - we arent dating. shmuer...we've been pretty cool but i know i can be obvious about liking him. So speaking, lately he's been a bit distant...almost in a way that he seems to wants to avoid me or prefers not being around me which is pretty ty imo TT^TT so i dunno anymore...all i know is that i is sad. boys are confusing af, especially the shy and awkward ones... But thank you all for subscribing, commenting and upvoting to tmlokt and 325270 and i hope to see more of yall soon. hart hart ~<3 <3