Seven years later ...

"I'm getting on the plane now! Don't worry! I'll be there!" I laughed as I talked to Rei. "I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything, Rei."

We said our goodbyes as I stepped into the plane. I took in a deep breath and walked to my assigned seat. I put my bag down and looked outside the small window.

It's been a while since I stepped in a plane. Last time was ... When we moved here to Jeju.

I sighed deeply but put a smile on my face.

Stop whining, Aya. Don't ruin this for yourself. You're about to meet your best friend for the first time in person, since last year.

I felt a sudden shift to my left, I looked in that direction and met with a male face. I smiled at him and he did likewise.

Damn, he's cute.

I shook my head, I could tell he saw but it's not like he knew what I was thinking.

"Uhm, miss?" He tapped me on the shoulder.

"Yes?" I composed myself and looked at him. "Is there something wrong?"

"I was wondering if you know Seoul very well. You see, I'm going there for a while and I'm not very familiar with the city. Would you care to help me?" He blushed and smiled at me sheepishly. He took out a map and a pen.

"Oh yeah, sure. I know my way pretty well around Seoul. I'd be glad to help." We exchanged smiles again and then I took the pen from him.

After who knows how long, I managed to answer all his questions. We shared stories along the way too. His name was Dongwoon, he's a musician and he's travelling a lot. Suprisingly, it is his first time to ever visit Seoul. He's been to many other places but Seoul just never came up on his list of places, not until now at least. He said he was going for some event, he didn't say what specifically but he did say he wasn't really planning to go but he had a gut feeling something good would come out of it if he did.

"Wow. Thanks Aya." He put the map and pen back in his bag and then turned to me. "I'm glad I decided to go to Seoul today, if I didn't I would have missed a pretty face like yours."

I laughed, "Thanks, I'm glad I did too Dongwoon. If it weren't for me you could have been stuck talking to someone snobby."

He laughed with me this time. This was nice, after my last break up, which was about two months ago, this was probably the most  decent conversation I've had with a guy.

I checked my watch to see what time it was, it had already been two hours since the plane took off. A part of me felt happy yet I wanted to relish the moment of befriending Dongwoon.

"Komowa, Dongwoon." I said quietly, he raised his eyebrow as he drank from his cup.

"Why? I thought we said our thanks earlier on." He chuckled and waited patiently for an answer.

"Just ... thanks. You've made a great start to my day." I patted him on the back and I looked out the window.

In just a few hours, I'll be there in Seoul ...

I played with the edge of my skirt subconsciously, I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I couldn't panic now, there was no backing out. The only way I'd get out of the plane is to jump out and if I don't have the guts to go to a wedding then how do I expect myself to jump out?

I drummed my fingers against the arm rest and took in deep breaths.

"Uh, Aya. Are you okay? You look like you're about to pass out at any second." Dongwoon held my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

"I think I'm just a little bit tired." I lied.

"If, that's the case then just get some rest." He took off his jacket, put it around my shoulders and then he lay my head on his shoulder.

"Komowa." I closed my eyes and fell into dreamland.

~~

"So here's my number." I held out the piece of paper and we exchanged. We had agreed that exchanging numbers would be the best if he lost his way and just so we could keep in touch.

"I'll leave first then!" I waved to him as I lugged my luggage behind me.

I was excited, definitely, but I walked slowly. I tried to tell myself it was only the fact that I'd have to deal with the wedding vibes of Rei but I knew I was lying to myself. I was feeling guilty.

It's not like I can just magically fall for anyone. As much as I wish it could be Dongwoon or any guy for that matter would be fine!  At least Dongwoon was nice guy, I doubt that I'll see him again though, let alone be able to date him. And to think that I'm coming back to Seoul as a single woman. I feel so lame. It makes it look like I haven't gotten over him.

I took out my phone and dialled Rei's number. I put the phone in between my ear and shoulder as I tried to stuff my wallet back into my bag.

"Moshi moshi~!" Rei sang as she answered.

"Yah, why are you using Japanese? Anyways, I'm on my way out. You're here right?" I shook my head, Rei will always be Japanese Rei.

"Aya-chan~!" She giggled, "Don't worry, that's the last of that. I'm here already so hurry!"

"I'm literally just about to head out, where are you?" I asked as I stepped into the arrivals area.

"I'm at the- I SEE YOU!" I could hear those lasts words both from the phone and to my right. I looked to my right to see Rei jumping up and down and waving her hands frantically.

My face expression softened and I smiled. I put my phone back in my pocket and walked over to her. She was jumping like a maniac and by now, we were getting a lot of weird looks.

"Annyeong!" I managed to say before she enveloped me in a bear hug.

"Annyeong! I've missed you so much!" She let go of me and grinned. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

"We video chatted last night, Rei." I stated and we began to walk to the parking lot.

"That doesn't count! I mean, I haven't seen you in human flesh. I see you as a pixelized person half the time." She laughed and we reached her car.

I put my luggage in the trunk with her help and then we were off.

"So that's the ring he gave you, huh?" I asked as I saw her hands on the driving wheel.

"Yep, it's beautiful isn't it?" She held it up and looked at it lovingly. It was silver, it was molded together with another piece of silver that made a sort of infinity sign and it was encrusted with turquoise gems.

"It is." I said quietly. I looked outside the window and watched the scenery change from motorways to city to, finally, the suburbs.

Wow. It's changed so much here.

There were new houses, apartments were built up and there was a hotel, if I'm not mistaken. In the more 'child-friendly' areas there was a playground. We passed by my old house too, I saw that there was a family living there. The children were outside, basking in the sunlight whilst their parent's watched them from the patio.

I smiled to myself, It's nice to know someone is making happy memories there.

We drove for a few more minutes and then we turned to an unfamiliar street.

"Is this where your new house is?" I turned to Rei who was humming a small tune. She stopped humming and nodded.

"Yup. It's not permanent though, we're just renting for the time being. I don't think either of us want to stay stuck here in Seoul for the rest of our lives but we still have to see our options." She explained, I nodded to show I was listening.

The car came to a stop and we got out to get my luggage. I walked up the path to their temporary home. I was amazed, I thought they would have a small house but it was fairly big.

"And this is home." Rei opened the door for me. I dragged my luggage along and I peeked inside.

I saw Myungsoo sitting on the couch petting a white dog. The dog looked at me and cocked his head. Myungsoo looked up and smiled.

"Annyeong, Aya." He waved slightly and then got up. "I'll help you with those." 

"It's okay, really." I said but he pryed them from my hands. He disappeared upstairs and then Rei led me to the kitchen. The dog, who I found out was named Dubu, followed us too. I picked her up and she actually let me, which was a surprise to Rei.

"Wow. She hardly adapts to newcomers so fast. You should feel special!" She giggled. "You want anything?"

"I'm fine. So what are we gonna be doing for the next few days?" As soon as I said those words I knew I was in for a long night.

"Well, there's loads to do! First we have to go to ..."

 

The following week ...

I watched everyone run around frantically, I suppose I should be doing the same but I was busy trying to keep Rei calm.

"Oh my god, what if I trip while I'm walking down the aisle? What if my dress gets caught on something? What if I don't remember my vows?! I don't know what to do with myself, Aya!" She rested her on my shoulder and lightly sobbed.

She's been like this since two days ago. I guess everything's getting to her but I know she's just worried everything won't work out as planned. She's such a perfectionist but she's strong enough, she'll just need to let everything out first and then she'll be fine.

"Don't worry, everything will be perfect." I patted her on the back and she looked up at me then smiled.

"Thanks, Aya. I'm glad you're here with me." She got up and decided now would be the time to change into her dress. We were only hours away from the wedding.

Maybe I should change into my dress too.

I got up and left the room, even though I am the Maid of Honor I would be helpless. Min and Eun were helping her in my place, they know how bad I am under pressure so they decided to take my job. I closed the door and made my way to downstairs. I had forgotten that I left my dress there. I walked to the small closet under the stairs and took my dress out.

In the distance, I could hear two voices. One was Myungsoo's and the other was Sungyeol's. My eyes widened and I ran back upstairs. I ran into my room and slammed the door shut.

Oh god. He's here.

I knew he was gonna be the Best Man but I actually never saw him, Myungsoo had been going to Sungyeol instead of the other way around. I think it was partially because Rei forced him to do so and partially because Sungyeol didn't wanna go here either.

Aya, calm yourself. You were bound to see him anyways!

I slapped my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I nodded at myself and then changed clothes.

I zipped open the bag my dress was in and my lips widened into a smile as I saw what the dress looked like. Rei had only showed me glimpses of it since she wanted me to be surprised and even though I got the dress yesterday I never managed to take a good look at it until now.

I took it off the hanger and wore it. The feel of the soft material against my skin was familiar, it was like the time I went to the other wedding with Sungyeol. I zipped it up and took a look at myself in the mirror. I put my hair to one side and turned to the side to get a better glimpse.

Not bad, Aya. Not bad at all.

I smiled again, maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all. I felt genuinely happy, for the first time in years.

I'll change. I need to let out everything that's been building up for the last seven years. I need to admit what I've been feeling.

I agreed with myself, but still felt somewhat guilty, and then I decided I'd check out how Rei was doing. I opened the door and stepped out. At that exact moment I caught a glimpse of Sungyeol going out of the house.

I realised that when I saw his face, I smiled.

Why am I smiling? Am I hoping to see him?

I shook my head

Stop it, Aya. Focus, no need to get side-tracked.

I walked to the room Rei was in.

Let's hope Rei will be the only drama for today.

~~

They all clapped and cheered me on as I finished off my speech to Rei, who was tearing up, and Myungsoo. I finally sat down and I could feel that my face was flushed. I patted my cheeks in hopes of getting rid of the heat I felt.

"Nicely done." Woohyun mouthed to me from across the table, Sunggyu nodded in agreement to his words. I felt Hoya pat my back and Sungjong gave me the thumbs up. Dongwoo simply grinned to show that my speech was satisfactory.

I blushed even more from their reassuring gestures, I averted my gaze and then took a look at my cup. Upon realising it was empty, I stood up and proceeded to the punch table.

Once I reached the table, I was about to reach for the ladle but saw an incoming hand reaching for it too.

I pulled my hand back, "Oh, uh, please go first."

I looked up at that person and my eyes widened at who's face I saw. It was Sungyeol, he wore a simple black suit which seemed to match him perfectly. I bit back the smile that was forming on my lips and remained composed.

"It's okay, ladies first." He gestured for me to take the ladle and so I took up his offer.

When I finished pouring myself a cup, I took it upon myself to stay there and chat with him. Of course, ìt wasn't the only reason I wanted to stay there but I tried to put other thoughts away.

Aya, if there are thing you want to say to him, you better do it in private.

Oh shut up, conscience.

Feeling guilty?

Just go away already!

I brushed away the inner thoughts clashing in my mind and focused on trying to start a conversation with Sungyeol. 

"So ..." I looked at the cup in my hands to avoid eye contact. "How have you been?"

Ugh! Out of all the things you could say to you're ex-boyfriend, you utter out, "How are you?". How stupid can you be? You're not trying to make him feel awkward, though, then again, you are bre-

My thoughts got cut off when he replied, "Fine, you know, just living life."

I nodded and took a long sip of my punch.

"And you?" He finally asked.

"Same." I answered simply. I thought over all the things I could say and decided, there and then, that I would get straight to the point.

I took in a deep breath, "Look. We need to talk."

I looked up at him after gaining all that courage to speak up.

"Okay then." He agreed, no questions asked, which sort of surprised me.

Maybe he has something to tell me too?

He walked out of the dining hall and led me through a series of corridors. Now we were near the exit of the hotel but I guessed he didn't want anybody to eavesdrop on us.

Once he stopped walking, he leaned against the wall and I realised it was my turn to speak now.

"Sungyeol," His name rolled off my tongue perfectly, but regrettably this was probably the last time I would say it. "I know I left. I left you when we were at our worst. I could have been there so maybe we could have sorted this out and this silence between us wouldn't be so uncomfortable. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the one to fill your heart with love. I should have tried, at least, to get back to you but in all honesty I couldn't face you. I even had a chance to go back but I was such a wimp. I couldn't ... I didn't want to ..."

I took in a deep sigh, "Look, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I understand if you don't forgive me but I just wanted you to hear me out. I hope that we can just be friends and forget that-"

Suddenly I was enclosed in his arms. My eyes grew wide and I felt the tears welling up.

No, it's not supposed to be this way.

I pushed him away, "S-stop it. W-what are you doing?"

"Aya, hear me out. Please." He pleaded, which made me all the more confused.

"No ... Don't say anymore. I don't want to hear it." I shook my head, the tears were now falling.

He was surprised but soon anger washed over his face, "What, so that's it? I don't even get to voice out my opinions? Do you not ing care about me? Is it always gonna be about you, Aya?!"

I didn't respond but he continued anyways.

"Well if you wanted me to forgive you, I didn't, Do you know why? Why would I forgive someone who broke my heart and left me? It's because I love you, Aya! After everything, I love you! I don't want to lose you again."

He said those last words quietly, only loud enough to for my ears to hear. But those were the words I were afraid of, those words that brought back those memories I had long forgotten. I couldn't stand it anymore, I needed him to hear out my real feelings, the ones I've been keeping hidden for these past seven years.

"That's the ing point! You still love me! But do you know what I realised after all these years? I stopped loving you." I let those words sink in. "I stopped loving you the moment I stepped on that plane. I didn't realise until later on but I just stopped. The biggest thing I wanted was for you to have stopped loving me too, do you know how many nights I spent awake, hoping, praying that you had long forgotten me? I knew my prayers wouldn't be answered though but I sincerely hoped you had forgotten me. And do you know what my sorry is for? I'm sorry because I knew you were waiting for an answer and it's an answer that I'll never be able to give. I'm sorry because you deserve better than what I have to offer, you deserve a love that can give you happiness and but it's not a happiness you're going to get off me."

The words jumped out of my mouth like a spring in a box. Those words were the ones that reminded me of the eighteen year old boy I left broken hearted seven years ago.

Sungyeol had tears in his own eyes but he took no notice of them, "But Aya, I don't care. Don't you see, I love you the way you are, with your flaws and imperfections. I know you're just saying that because you don't want to be hurt again. I'll still lo-"

I cut him off before he could say anymore, "You don't get it do you? How can you love me? Because I know that my love didn't fade as time went by. It was never there in the first place, we both just wanted to believe it was there. So please, for the love of all that is good in this world, get it into your mind that I don't love you anymore!"

I knew right then that the boy I once knew had broken. His heart, broken by his first love, the one he was willing to wait for only to find out that the love he supposedly had was one sided. The boy stood in front of me, his face showing a million emotions.

"I'm sorry Sungyeol." I was glad to get it off my chest but I felt even worse than before.

Sungyeol straightened up and wiped away any evidence of his tears. "Yeah. I get it. We're adults now, time to forgive and forget, right?"

I couldn't stand there anymore, so I walked away.

It's my fault, it always is but I did it for his sake. So that he would stop waiting for something that was never coming. It was time he finally moved on but what if I broke all his hope of ever loving again?

I walked into somebody, I had been too focused on my thoughts before and I didn't even look up to see where I was going. I looked up and saw a familiar face.

"Dongwoon ... ?" I managed to utter out but it ended up sounding like a question.

He looked at me worriedly, then his eyes flashed to behind me and suddenly I was being dragged away.

"Y-yah! What are you doing?" A thought suddenly appeared in my mind. "You're the special guest Myungsoo was on about, right? You should go in there!" I told him, inbetween all the sharp intake of breaths and wiping away of tears.

"I know I should but it looks like you need me right now." He explained as we reached his car. He opened the door for me and went to the driver's side. He started the car as soon as he got in and made sure I had the seatbelt on.

"W-why are you treating me so kindly?" I asked.

"Well, remember when I said that I had a gut feeling that my trip to Seoul would be good?" I nodded to show I remembered. "Well you were that gut feeling and I can't leave a pretty girl crying, can I?"

I heard my voice being yelled out, I knew who that voice belonged to but I couldn't bring myself to look back. I need to stop holding on to him.

This won't do.

I closed my eyes.

This is goodbye ... for good.

---

Aya's Note

Wow. I actually finished the story! YAY! I hope you all like the ending. I guess I kinda at making endings but I think it turned out pretty well, right?

I thank you all for being patient with me, I love you all for not  being angry with me so thank you all!

Another celebration for this because this is my first completed story! I wouldn't have been able to finish this if without all of you who were waiting patiently. I love you all!

For those of you who wanted a happy ending, I made an alternative, shorter version. I'll post it up right after this. It's really short so don't expect too much.

I hope many of you will stay with me, I've got a few other stories, as well as a few others coming up. Feel free to check them out and don't be afraid to share this with all of your friends!

Again, I LOVE YOU all and THANK YOU for all of your comments and even to all of you silent readers. Knowing that somebody was waiting for me to update was a good feeling. You don't know how grateful I am for everything.

That's all from me now. If anyone still wants to read more of my stories, they're there waiting for you!

Peace, Aya is out!