* M CountDown 2014 March 6 *

- YongHwa’s POV –

I don’t need to see her today. Scratch that. I don’t want to see her again. But fate just wants to screw with me. I thought I’ve moved on but I guess not. Well YongHwa, you’re gonna see her sooner or later in this business.

My members were moody as well. The room was quiet. Our manager hyung and the coordis were gone since we’ve finished doing our makeup and we’re just waiting to be told to perform. I looked around and saw Jonghyun looking into space, Minhyuk staring at his phone and Jungshin looking at his shoes with his hands behind his head. What happened to us? Jungshin is supposed to be making a joke right now and Minhyuk laughing his off. Jonghyun would be focused on his guitar playing random tunes and I would be texting her- Ani, Yonghwa don’t go there. Don’t think about her.

I looked around and we looked miserable and broken. I need to be their strength; I need to be there for them.

“Guys,” I shouted. “Come here.”

“Wae hyung?” Jungshin said.

“Palli.”

All three of them walked and stood in front of me. “Turn around.”

“Aish wae hyung?” Minhyuk said angrily. I got shocked, Minhyuk getting angry is a phenomena that happens once in a blue moon. “Turn around I said!” I shouted.

Grudgingly, they all turn around. I stood up and hit their back hard. You could hear it like a whip.

“YAAH!” “HYUNG!! WAEGURE???”” “HYUNG IT HURT!”

I let them scream and curse me. They lied on the floor until they recovered from the pain. They stared at me menacingly. “Kure, look at me like that. Let it all out. I know what you guys are going through. I-I know what WE’re going through.” I slumped back to my chair and bowed my head. “Look guys, I know we’re going to see them today. But we have to be strong. Or if you can’t then I’ll be strong for us. I’ll carry all of-“

“Geumanhe hyung.” Jonghyun said. “Geumanhe naragu. You have enough in your plate as it is. You can’t bear all of our problems too hyung.”

“Hyung, you’ve always been there for us but enough is enough. We’ll bear it together hyung.” Minhyuk said.

“Hyung all of us are experiencing the same thing. I don’t want us to see you break down like I, Jonghyun and Minhyuk did.” Jungshin said.

Tears were forming in our eyes. God why did this have to happen to us? Why?

One of the coordi knocked and open the door and saw us. She stopped in her tracks as she saw tears on our faces. “Umm… I-I.. It’s be-… CNBlue.. Umm..”

I quickly wiped my tears and said, “Ne. What is it?”

“It’s-It’s your tu-turn CNBlue to per-perform.”

“Ne we’ll be right there.” The coordi quickly went out. I stood up and grabbed the tissue and gave my members some to wipe their tears. “Kaja,” I said with a forced smile. As Jungshin and Jonghyun grabbed their guiars and MinHyuk his drumsticks, I thought to myself, I have to be strong for them. We’re broken. Our hearts are badly broken.

During our performance, I was lifeless. I couldn’t feel it, our music. I couldn’t smile or show any emotions at all. Same as my members, Jungshin didn’t smile, Jonghyun was not bouncing while playing the guitar, Minhyuk didn’t show his eye smiles. We were all serious looking in our performance. We had a lot of NGs until we finally finished. As we walked off the stage I hugged my brothers a bit and whispered, “We’ll be fine.” I could feel their sadness which added more to my sadness.

We bowed to our fellow artists on our way back to our room and I sincerely hope that we don’t see them. God please don’t let us see them. But it wasn’t meant to be. There they are, walking towards us. Girls’ Generation. Seo Nyeo Shi Dae. Damnit. I forced a smile and bowed and motioned my members to bow too. They bowed back and I noticed the tension and we didn’t dare to break it. Sooyoung looked at Jungshin with pity, Yoona looked at Jonghyun with guilt, and Jessica looked at Minhyuk with sadness and Seohyun- no. I don’t want to look at her even for a second. I’m not gonna waste a single second any more. I don’t want the remaining pieces of my heart to become dust.

The silence was broken by a coordi calling the SNSD. Taeyeon looked at me sadly and said, “Mianheyo.”

“Ani Taeyeon-ah, you didn’t do anything. It’s me who should apologise for making the atmosphere awkward. Mianhe-“

“Yong oppa.” Those words. How I dreamt, how I wish to hear that voice again saying those words. It was music to my ears but it was a dagger going straight to my heart.

I looked at her blankly and said, “Ne, Seohyun-ssi?”

“Op-Oppa.. O-oppa jjinjja mian-“

“Enough Seohyun-ssi. Mianhe Taeyeon-ah but we have to go. Guys Kaja.” I said forcedfully. I saw it coming. Her saying sorry over and over again. I knew she was going to do that. I had to get away and I can see Jonghyun and Junshin breaking too just by seeing Yoona and Sooyoung. Minhyuk is quiet just because he saw Krystal’s Sister. We were about to go when I felt thin arms around me. I froze. My members were shocked and they were anticipating my reaction and were ready to act, just in case I lose it.

I could smell her perfume. I remember how I always look for my strawberry-scented girl every time I feel stressed. How I would hug her and kissed her every time I’m alone with her. How we used to play around. Everything. I remembered everything, but it was thrown in the wind. Discarded and forgotten. All that remains is the heartache and suffering.

“Kajima oppa,” she whispered.

Sure enough, the remaining pieces of my heart were grinded into dust. Tears started to fall down my face. I can’t take it anymore. Does she really want to see me go crazy? Does she want me to cry a river? Does she want me to die? I have to get away from here. If I stay, I’m really going to die.

I removed her arms forcedfully and turned around. “Let’s stop this Seohyun-ssi. Go back to him.” I bowed back to SNSD and they were shocked at me. It’s probably the tears running down my face. I quickly walked out hearing my members walking behind me. I busily wiped my face. I can’t let others see me like this.

 I went to my car while our manager ran after us. “Yonghwa, where are you guys going to?” He asked us worriedly.

“To cool off hyung.” I said. I opened the door and sat down. Jonghyun sat beside me while Minhyuk and Junghin sat behind. It was a good thing I brought my car. Last night I slept at the bar and came here when I heard my phone ringing and woke me up. I started the car and sped off. I’m not gonna think of her. Never again would I think of her.

* Taeyeon’s POV *

I was surprised when Hyunnie did that. After Yongseoba- ani. It’s Yonghwa now. When he left, Seohyun couldn’t stop crying. Yoona too couldn’t stop crying. Sooyoung was silent and was brooding. We asked for 10 minutes before we perform just to calm down the 2 maknae.

Our performance surprisingly went without any problem: Yoona and Seohyun were almost the same except a few mistakes that the fans couldn’t see but we can. We have been rehearsing this for 3 months and we know those 2 were making mistakes but we still managed.

We walked back to our dressing room and we were surprised to see our stylist and manager waiting outside.

“Oppa, what are you guys doing outside?” I asked.

“Someone wants to talk to you guys alone.” He said somberly.

“Arasseo.” His reaction made me nervous and I was right.

All of us went inside and we were shocked. CNBlue’s Manager was inside sitting down in a chair and the vibe we got wasn’t friendly. This wasn’t what he usually feels around us. He was bubbly and full of laughter but now, he’s furious.

“Please sit.”

We sat down in the sofa and chairs and we waited for him to speak. We dare not break the silence because we were too scared of him right now. It’s like we don’t know him at all.

“What is it you want to talk about oppa?” I dared to ask him. My sisters were fidgeting and someone needs to break the ice.

“What have you guys done to my boys?” He whispered but we all could hear it. “They don’t eat, they don’t sleep, they get sick most of the times and I don’t find them in their dorm. You know where I find them? AT THE BAR DRINKING THEMSELVES AWAY!” he shouted.

I cringed at his voice. Yoona and Seohyun started crying and my other members started comforting them.

“Is this why you wanted to be with my boys? Just for some fun, break them then throw them away?” He continued. “I’m sick and tired hearing them cry themselves to sleep and covering up every fight they have at the bar. Seohyun, Yoona and Sooyoung, fix this or so help me God I’m not going to allow you to see them anymore. I’ll cancel every schedule, every performance you 2 groups have together. I won’t let CNBlue interact with SNSD ever again as long as they are under my care.”

“Arasseo oppa. We’ll fix this. If not, you have my word that we will not interact with them ever agai-“

“Don’t say it unnie. I can’t bear a day without seeing him.” Seohyun cried out.

“Nadu unnie. I have to fix my relationship with Jongie.” Yoona whispered. I looked at both them with understanding. My God why did they had to make the wrong choice. It's not only CNBlue suffering but also these my members suffered.

“Arasseo,” I replied to my sisters. Then I look at CNBlue’s Manager, “If you want us to fix this oppa can we ask for your help then? We need their schedule and other things to plan this out.”

“Fine,” he stood up and went for the door. He was about to go but then he turned around and said in a calm voice, “Sooyoung-ah, to answer the question you asked me, Jungshin loves you but I’m not going to force you to accept him. Yoona, after all this time, you still mean the world to Jonghyun and Seohyun. I don’t need to tell you how important you are to Yonghwa and the rest of the guys. And Jessica, I hope you pass my message to Krystal. And sorry for raising my voice.”

“It was our fault first oppa. Don’t worry about it, we’ll fix this,” I said.

As he left we hugged our maknaes and I said, “You’ll be fine, we’ll fix this. Everything’s gonna be alright.”