Chapter 5

We were all back at our dorm, feeling tired after our performance today. I threw myself at the couch and landed down. I was feeling super exhausted after a long day. The rest of the girls gathered around me and I looked up to see them. Sora had her arms across her chest with an angry face on, Cherry had a sad expression, and Hei Ryung had a poker face on, while the other members looked serious. I got up from the couch and was about to walk to my shared room when Sora pushed me back down and I landed on the couch's cushion. How dare her touch me and push me down!? If I wasn't this tired I would have done something to her, but I didn't want to bother right now. I was about to get up again when she finally spoke up again with an angry tone.

"We're all tired of you," she simply stated.

I stopped to think about her words. Tired of me? Like hells you should be tired of me, I'm tired of you too! This is going nowhere, I can't get upset now or things will get out of control and I didn't want to risk it.

"You're selfish, immature, and only think about yourself. We've been trying to work things out with you and understand why you're acting like this. You're our leader, but I think it's time for you to leave our band."

Astonished. That's what I was. I couldn't believe she beat me to it. I wanted to kick her out, but now I was feeling betrayed. She had gotten everyone on her side, including Cherry, my loyal member.

"Your band? I was the one who started all this, and since when did it become yours? If it weren't for me, none of you would have ever been standing in the stage you do now!" I hollered at them with so much anger and I could start to feel a new source of power building up inside of me, and over the time I've learned that this was never a good sign for me or the people around me.

"K," Cherry spoke up with a trembling voice, which somehow made me control more my anger. "Do you not care about us?" she asked while looking at me with sincere eyes.

"Why did you even bother bringing us together if you were gonna give up on us and act like this?" Hei Ryung spoke up for the second time today.

I was confused. Confused because I had no idea what was happening right now. What was happening to me? How did things become like this?

These people in front of me were once the only people I ever needed. The people that I used to enjoy working with to create music. Sora was like the sister I never had. We were so much alike, so what happened?

"You lost your meaning and the meaning of music," a new voice said. It was the voice of our manager, Kim-something.

"What?" I asked as my voice cracked.

Kim-something was the person responsible for getting us this far in the industry world. He had been a great help and has always had a passion for music, but he never had the interest to make music himself. He saw something in me and decided to help me out and look for potential members to start a band.

"I think it's better you leave the band and find your purpose again, and when you do, you can always come back," he said.

The things that were happening right now didn't make much sense in my head right now. But I felt the need to leave all of this behind and start all over again.

"This is stupid," was all I said and walked into my shared room and started to pack my bags.

None of the girls came in to check on me, not even Cherry. I packed my bags quickly and walked out of the room and into the living room, where I saw all the girls there along with Kim-something. I glanced at everyone before turning towards the door and walking towards it. I didn't look back and I didn't expect anyone to come after me, but Kim-something followed me out.

"This is for your own good, Jung," he said in an apologetic tone, calling my real name. "You're a talented kid, you just need to find your path again. You let the fame change you, and you've become something that doesn't let you create the same music you did at the beginning."

"Is the music that I make right now not good enough?" I asked with tears at the corner of my eyes. I hadn't even noticed the tears had started to form.

"Is it enough for you?" he asked me.

I stopped and thought about it. The only reason why all of this started was because I loved making music. It was a way for me to feel free in the things I did and the decisions I've made. I guess lately I've been creating things to satisfy others and not myself. I truly had changed and lost my way. I only cared about the fame and let it consume me.

"Go now," Kim-something said and gave me a little push. "Find your way again and come back even stronger than before, I'll take care of the girls, so don't worry about them."

"Thank you, Kim-something," I said with tears streaming down my face.

"And will you memorize my name already. It's not Kim-something, it's Kim Junsu."

Those were his last words before going back inside the dorm and locking the door while I was left out here by myself. I wanted to be angry and scream at this unfairness, but at the same time I felt like I deserved this. I don't think I've ever cried in my life, but tonight I was crying.