“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

― Voltaire

The sun was starting to hide under the horizon, its thing rays of light lingering on the sky, asking for another chance to shine on the world. But like all things, it had to come to an end, like all things, it had to fade. As the stubborn rays slowly vanished, Jiyong looked as the light of the day came to a halt behind the horizon, where he could only imagine to be, where he could only want and not have. He let out a sigh as he walked back into the house, feeling, for the first time in a long time, content and calmed. It was always a peaceful sight for him, being able to stand quietly as he watched the sunset, imagining all the possibilities his life could have had if he had not become what he was.

It was those moments when he composed the best music, wrote the best lyrics. But that day wasn’t a day to sit on his beloved desk and hold on his beloved pen and spill his thoughts on a white piece of paper. He shook his head as he thought of his career, of his new album, of that song he wrote, now having the secret desire to complete what he yearned for on those lines, on those words.

You are my pleasure

I feel like a little kid

Trying not to think about you

Only 10 minutes at the longest

Our relationship right now is between cold and hot

Anything is fine

If I could keep you right beside me

Your face is so beautiful like a sculpture

When I look at you I freeze like a statue

my superstar

You’re one butterfly

Butterfly effect in the flower garden

In your little smile

There’s a big storm in my heart

Keep running away

Fly away

At this moment, know more about me

Guys are either kids or dogs

Other guys will take you away like a hawk

I’ll give you the love you’ve never felt before

I’ll be ya James Bond, until the end for you

He smiled as he heard the lyrics again and again on his head, feeling the emotions he felt the moment he wrote them. It was so true, those lyrics, feeling what he felt, being on the cloud he was, having the desire he had. How could he not know that those words will get wasted by the same person he dedicated them?

If I’m a boring realist

You’re a dreamer

If you’re going there

I’ll follow you even if I’m dreaming

On that green field

Let’s build a picturesque house

On your ring finger

Let’s get a diamond as big as your thumb

I’ll give you the world

You can be the owner

This is a crazy love song

You can just be the main character

My calendar is red, why?

cuz everyday is your birthday

My calendar is red, why?

cuz everyday is your birthday

Listen well

Come here

Please stop lifting me up and letting me go

You might say two different things with one mouth

Let’s stop with the childish playing nah

We ride or die

You’re bonnie

I’m clyde

There’s no tomorrow for us tonight

It was stupid how accurate those lyrics came to be, and how fake and fragile the ended. He let out another sigh as he walked into his room, his shirt tightly held on his hand as he threw himself on bed, singing again and again the chorus that came to be his own anthem, his love song, his proposal.

You got me losing my mind

The way you got me fired up

Never give up boy even when they try us

You and me against the world

With you I ride or die tonight

You have my heart like the beat

The way you got me turned up

Never give up boy even when they try us

You and me against the world

With you I ride or die tonight

Now those words stung like thousand needles on his body, now those words were meant nothing. He was having a heartbreak, but it wasn’t like he had one before, in fact, he never thought he could experience what love was, moreover, what a heartbreak was. As a tear fell on his eyes, the very last one, as he swore to himself, the song faded on his mind, and the feelings got shut out, and the pain turned to hatred, and the hatred turn to desire, a hidden desire of ending whatever gave him pain, whatever gave him false hopes, whatever came into his way.

“Jiyong?” A voice called from his door, and he grimly straightened up, tiredly looking at the red headed woman at his door, her eyes fixed on him, a silver tray on her hands and her long, gorgeous, perfectly shaved legs almost shining in the dim lights of his room. He crooked a smile and nodded.

“What is it?” He asked, impressed on how weak his own voice sounded. She smiled and lifted a slight bit the tray, showing him the containing, it was food.

“I brought you dinner, thought you might be hungry.” She said and Jiyong nodded, not feeling hungry at all, but to be polite.

“Sure.” He said as he slowly moved towards the edge of the Queen sized bed. She walked in and put the tray on the nightstand next to the table, then looked at him. He looked at her, feeling, for the first time, curious on how those lips would taste like. He tried to maintain the visual contact with her, but he was too tired, too sick of living to even have the slight desire towards her. It was funny, how in the past he could force an and have a one night stand with pretty woman, but now, nothing seemed to caught his attention, and every time he looked at a woman, her face would distort and her hair would turn blonde. He shook his head and looked at the tray of food. She only brought him soup, and he, with a bitter smile, looked at her and nodded. “Thank you, I was starving.” He lied.

“I’m glad, this shall make you feel better.” She said and quickly went towards the doors, then stopped and turned around, looking at him with tender eyes. “Jiyong, tonight we have an assignment, we’re going back to M2. Woochoong and his men will be there, it could be our opportunity.” She told him and he nodded, suddenly feeling re-energized.

“Should I go?” He asked and she nodded quickly. “You’re sure, I’m way too famous around here.”

“We could work on that.” She said smiling and left. He smiled awkwardly at himself and went over to his food. Even the smell made him nauseated, but he still shoved it down his throat as fast as possible, he knew he needed to eat something.

After he finished eating, taking a hot shower and dressing up, he walked towards the living room, suddenly feeling rejuvenated, as if he could conquer the world and everyone in it. Seunghyun looked at him and smiled as Minjie did his make-up. Bom was doing a high ponytail on her long, red hair, a little black dress already in place accompanied by a pair of Red pumps. Jiyong gulped down as he found himself staring at her long legs. Bom looked at him and smiled, and for a moment, he felt as if he wanted to disappear right there and then to what he saw after. Seunghyun walked over her and put a hand on her waist, tenderly kissing her cheek as he did. She giggled and kissed him back, her hands lingering on his collar as she did. Jiyong looked to the side, his throat dry and his heart racing.

Seunghyun then walked towards Jiyong, handing him a black leathered jacket while smiling. “I think this shall accentuate your fashion.” Seunghyun said, and Jiyong looked at him, his face wore a happy smile, one Jiyong hadn’t been able to see for a long time. And he felt worst, guilt was eating his insides as he saw that smile, one he knew, Bom had brought on his face. He had flirted with her, made an approach, want her, a desire that now ate him up, knowing that she was his best friend’s girl.

“It’s perfect… I think.” Jiyong said as he slowly put on the black leathered jacket. It was plain, nothing out of the ordinary, but, as everything Jiyong wore, looked perfect on him. “So, are you… and Bom… going out?” Jiyong asked, he couldn’t help it. Seunghyun smiled and nodded slightly, his hands on his pockets.

“Yeah, it was recent, really.” He said looking at her, and she, being the cute and pretty woman she was, smiled at them. Jiyong looked to the side, completely ignoring her.

“You look happy…” As I was. Jiyong said. Seunghyun nodded and looked at him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry if it bothers you…”

“Oh no, not at all. I’m glad one of ours gets to be happy. For both of us.” Jiyong said while faking a smile.

“Shall we go?” Minjie said as he put a purple scarf around her neck. She wore a transparent black blouse and black leathered pants with black boots. Jiyong looked at his watch, it was early, still 7pm, and the club must’ve be empty by now.

“Why so early?” Jiyong asked, to which Seunghyun answered.

“It’s a bit far from here. Also, we need to see who goes in and out.”

“Did you called the guys?” Jiyong asked, and this time, Bom was the one to answer.

“I called them,” She said, her hands on some papers. “They should be arriving any moment now.”

“Good… I guess…” Jiyong said, not saying anything else as they left the apartment. He stared for a moment to the darkened sky, contemplating the view he so longingly desired to watch until the moment he died.

Chaerin walked out of the building, quickly calling for a cab as she did. The taxi driver stopped and she quickly got in, telling him her directions. Without any other words, the man started to drive out of the place. The man had his radio on, and Jiyong’s voice was filling the car as he drove. Chaerin rolled her eyes, feeling the familiar pain constricting on her chest. She moved forward and smiled at the driver, slightly tapping his shoulder.

“Excuse me, would you mind changing the stations, please?” She said in the politest tone she could muster. The man, however, just laughed.

“I’m sorry miss, but if you don’t like G-Dragon, you’ll have to endure it. He’s on every station, every day.” The man said and Chaerin nodded, not sharing any other words with that man. She took a deep breath as his voice filled her mind, her heart, her thoughts, and, after a few moments, found herself humming the songs, moving her head to the beat of it.

As she felt herself one with the music, her phone rang uncontrollably on her pocket, and she jumped from its vibrations. She fished for her phone and looked at the screen, it was an unknown number, as usual. She slid the screen and answered the call, putting the phone to her ear.

“Hello?”

“An is going to pick you up in ten minutes, be ready.” A man said and she laughed.

“I’m not at the apartment.” She said, and for a moment, the man’s voice seemed to waver.

“Where shall you be?” the man said, his voice trembling a slight bit.

“Out, what do you want?” She said, the man coughed a bit and took a deep breath.

“Then I expect you to arrive to the directions I’ll text you in five minutes. That’s all.” He said and hung up. Chaerin smiled and shook her head as she put the phone down, the screen blinking as a new text message arrived. She looked at it, then at the driver.

“Excuse me, I need you to take me somewhere else.” She said. The man looked at her through the rearview mirror and smiled.

“Where, miss?”

“Hongdae” She said.

Gily's Notes: Alright, next chapter is WAY more exciting!! I can't wait!!

Happy Reading!!

Gily ♥