December 30, 2015

Dear Soojung,

How are you? Are you eating well? Are the people in America treating you right? Are you treating the people in America right?

I hope you’re doing fine. I hope you’re eating well. I’m sure the people in America are treating you right and I’m sure you’re treating the people America right, considering your polite personality.

Soojung, there are things that I regret.

I regret not taking Mr. Lee’s art class seriously.

I regret wearing those white sandals to school. Who knows what I was thinking when I thought they were stylish?

I regret writing my narrative essay for Miss. Park’s class on this girl (whose name I’ve forgotten) whom I had a “crush” on over the summer of our 10thyear.

But, most of all, Soojung, I regret never reaching out to you, aside from the time we were trying to patch up Luhan and his girlfriend’s relationship.

Did I know of your crush on me?

Yes. It was subtle, but I did know. I remember a letter sitting under my desk between the bars one day. It was dated May 20, 2013. That was our 11thyear, a couple days before Sehun transferred to our school. It was actually hidden until the end of that school year.

How did I know it was you? I didn’t.

Your letter was put in a white envelope, and it stood out to me mainly because it was in such an odd spot. I wasn’t the one who found it - Luhan did. Only God knows why his hands were wandering under that desk. I didn’t read it at first, however. Luhan saw my name on the outside of the envelope and recognized your handwriting. Apparently he’s seen your handwriting numerous times because his girlfriend had constantly copied your Calculus homework.

At first I was skeptical, because how could a girl as prim and perfect as you like a guy that could barely pass an art class like me?

Then, I started noticing you. The way your eyes would quickly avert from mine when I would glance at you, or whenever we held eye contact for more than two seconds and you would blush was what confirmed it for me.

You were one of the prettiest girls in our grade, not going to lie. You really stuck out to me sophomore year when your hair was hot pink. I found you really brave and your whole “good girl” image kind of shattered, although you were still a really good kid. I don’t know if your friend told you, but once, Baekhyun kind of told her that I was “depressed because the love of my life with a certain pink head of hair wouldn’t even notice me.”

I was surprised that she didn’t even make any connections, but I was somewhat relieved that she was oblivious. Somehow, the tables were turned and she somehow assumed that Baekhyun had a crush on you. Sometimes, I wish I had Baekhyun’s courage.

Do you remember when we were reenacting that one skit in theatre class? To be honest, I don’t quite remember the name of the skit. We were lovers, that part I remember. I remember so clearly because you put your head on my shoulder. It’s a bit embarrassing for me to admit, but that was the first time a girl had been so close to me. I think that first sparked something in me – you were an attractive girl, I was a hormonal boy. I had an interest.

Do you remember when I got into that accident? Well, I don’t think anybody could forget. Strangely, in the midst of all the chaos and havoc that nigh