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Tangled Faiths(SONG REQUEST: BABY BY B1A4)
We made it out of that mad house in time, without being shoved away. I was gripping onto his wrist so I could trail behind him without being swallowed alive by the rabid kids. He still had a firm hold on my arm when we were nearing his car, was he afraid that he was going to lose me?
"Jagiya," I cooed into his ear. "Are you okay?"
Junhyung turned me around, so I could confront him, he was smiling. Glancing at our hands together ever so often. Running a hand through my hair, gathering it to one side to play with the ends. Staring into my eyes while he was doing all of this. He perched me on the hood of his car, kissing me hungrily before releasing his hand to cup my cheeks. Was it lust or affection? Sometimes, I couldn't decipher.
"I'm fine," he said on my lips, giving me goosebumps. His hands ran up and down my arms to warm them, how did he pick up on something so small? "Are you okay?"
I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around his neck, while following his eyes around the campus. He was watching the students walk by, and I was watching him glare at those who gave a disgusted face. No matter what time in day, if he was estatic or down in the dumps, he protected me dearly, holding me and hushing my cries. He would crawl into the depths of the earth to witness my smile once again, and I would do the same for him, without a second thought or hesitation; in a heartbeat.
"Why are you so clingy all of a sudden?"
It took him a few moments to answer, something that never happened. He usually spoke his mind truthfully whether it would damage feelings or uplift their spirits. It was a blessing and a curse. "Because you're mine. Are you cold?" Without me replying, he removed his school blazer and wrapped it snug around me, brushing my hair back.
"Let's go before someone else eats all the ice cream." With that he pecked my lips, picked me up and set me in the passenger side, driving off into the busy streets of the city. It began pouring with rain, blurring the traffic lights and headlights of cars passing by.
It was raining, just like every other day. Not that I didn't enjoy it, the rain was unwanted right now. I was already sobbing, that was enough liquids for this moment. The soft piddle-paddle made my heart sound hollow and empty, without a man's affection. Without his embrace, supporting words, or kisses to comfort me. And it was excruciatingly painful.
"It's just something I can't say right now," he said. He could tell me anything, and he knew that deep in his heart.
"I don't want you to worry for a guy not worth your love," he teared as he threw my hand away. Throwing my heart away. I slammed my lips into his, to display an answer that I wanted only him. I required his love, only his, that could mend a heart that a father abandoned. He was repairing it everyday, I couldn't leave someone who meant the world to me. I spent endless, sleepless nights crying tears that expressed my internal, emotional, pain.
"I love you more than anything and you know that." If he did, he wouldn't be saying goodbye so easily.
The doorbell rang, disturbing me from the only sleep I managed to get these past weeks. I almost shattered eveything except tangible objects, my heart, my mind, my soul. I felt damaged and it was his fault. My mother, heard me crying, always wore a pained expression when our eyes met, like she experienced this misery herself.
I shouted behind me that I would answer the door and for them to return to doing what they were occupied with.
"Hello-"
I was bombarded with a pained grin from no other than the man who caused this tormentation. Yong Junhyung. The man who always returned with a smile, a cheesy pickup line, and a gift. It wasn't going to work this time.
He harshly grasped on my wrist, pulling me from my dwelling, shutting the door, pinning me against the wall to slip his lips into mine. The taste of peppermint overwhelmed me, and his warm hands cupping the cheeks that were like canals for the tears I shed for him felt, was all too much. I didn't move, I possibly couldn't. And just like that, he broke away, handed me a bouquet of lilacs- my most adored flowers in the entire world- without any words.
"What could I have said?" Was most likely surging through his head because it was in mine. What could he have said? Actions speak louder than words, and a million answers flew at me like daggers; he still loved me, he wanted me back, he came back just for me even after all I said.
A white folded paper in the flowers caught my attention. These words could make or break me. It read "I can say sorry a million times for the rest of my life but it won't change your mind."
But it did. It changed the entire world for me, and I sprinted after him
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