12
Tangled Faiths(SONG REQUEST: COLD LOVE BY CNBLUE)
Where were you this morning? Are you alright?
Do you miss me that much?
When don't I is the real question^^
I promise it's just a little cold, I'll be back tomorrow so you won't be alone.
Can I come over after school?
"Is texting better than paying attention in class?" The teacher beckoned me to her desk, in front of the entire class, not sparing any mercy. Even though I should've been attentive, we can all agree that the health of the one I love was more important. He was diagnosed with cancer, what if he was suffocating on the other hand and I couldn't contact him? He could've been seriously injured or worse.
"I was making sure he was feeling well."
"Who?" The teacher seemed a million times more interested then her smile slowly faded. "You can take care of that business in another class but not in this one. Will after school detention help you understand that?"
"Sorry," I bowed respectfully. No matter what, I required to see Junhyung after this class immediately, I couldn't be contained for another hour and a half. "I'll turn it off." I backed myself up by holding the power button and sliding to shut off. She seemed please with her unabashed work.
"I'm not as old as you think, my eyes are still sharp."
Twenty minutes later, after jotting down notes with dagger's being shot through my skull, the dismissal bell rang signaling the end of this day. I crammed all of my belongings into my backpack, not a thought of organization coming in mind, slung it over my shoulders and exited the classroom. Everyone was still in the middle of packing up, I was in a rush, the majority of the hallways were clear. I jogged until I exited the school gate's, or the gate's of freedom. Behind me, students were cheering and reveling about weekend plans.
Since Junhyung was sick with a cold, I decided to take a quick pitstop at the grocery store and purchase some congestion medicine. As I was checking each brand and price, my phone rang.
"Sulyeon," the person's voice on the other line cracked. They were sobbing. Ilhoon, his brother was going through as much as we were. "Junhyung is in the hospital."
This was not my life, this was not the Sulyeon I grew into. My father especially scolded me for tearing up and not being mature for my age but I couldn't contain myself any longer. I knew this would happen eventually but not this soon, when we were still so young and had too much latent potential. It wasn't fair, this cold air blowing up a storm and destroying my only dreams with the both of us.
Without hesitation or a second thought, I sprinted after the nearest hospital located in relative distance to his house. The one that I knew since I first dated him, even met his personal doctor. The air in my lungs seared as much as my tears, my heart was pumping with such force I thought for a second I was going to faint. It would've been nice, not feeling or undergoing a life with difficulties such as this, experiencing no pain nor happiness; my joy was burned by the combustion of tragedy. Everything was turning into flames just like a paper catching fire, oranges and reds and yellows with such grace causing so much gradual damage. I couldn't bear this for another day.
Once I reached the hospital, I rushed the receptionist for his room number. Thirty-seven-D. The elevator was not something I would've enjoyed with this impatient feeling stirring in me. The doors opened, I dashed out, running down each hallway until my eyes latched onto the correct numbers.
There he was. From the doorway, he was pale as can be. The blood left his face, probably the only things retaining his life was the thought of me and the monitor pumping medicine into his system.
"You idiot," I strode over to his motionless body. When I observed more clearly, his limbs were strapped to either side of the bed. "You wanted to see me one more time but they held you back." There was no response, besides the heart machine beeps ringing in my ears. His breathing was regulated perfectly, just like any other average person's, but cancer was eating him alive.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I bit back on my lip to contain my shaky voice but he couldn't hear me anyways, why did it matter now? "Huh?"
"Sulyeon.." His eyes slightly opened, utter exhaustion contorting the features on his face.
"I love you so much.." My hand came to block my mouth, I didn't want him witness my vulnerable state, to prevent any sounds from escaping.
"You think I would leave without seeing you one last time?"
That was the last bridge that was holding me back, his words shattered me into pieces that were impossible to place back together. My wounds will never heal. His fingers brushed against my arm before I heard a line buzzing in my ears. He couldn't abandon me so easily, so simply with one last breath. It was not the Junhyung I grew accustom to; he was a fighter down to the core. But he died with nothing much to say. Though they were just words, they gashed my heart to shreds and packed such an impact.
I will never forget you as the time ticks on, the places where we went will still remain warm in my memory.
You won't fade from me, you will never leave my thoughts.
With so much love to give after your time, receive it when you're watching over me.
Comments