February 14^th, 2010

She was lost. The bustling and liveliness of Music Core’s backstage area had made her lose all sense of direction. Truthfully, she really just wanted to sit down because of the constant pain of walking in her heeled ankle boots. But she felt so out of place in the midst of the endless stream of music idols that she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. Despite the backstage pass on her wrist, she had a feeling that the security guards were looking for an excuse to question her identity.

“Okay… Minho said that Shinee’s makeup room is in the hallway to the right of the stage,” she murmured while glancing at the directions Minho sent her through texts.

Sighing, she slipped her phone back in her bag before adjusting the scrunched up material of her dress.  He had requested she wear one; and she had been tempted on wearing sweats just to get back at him for “forcing” this date on her. After all, Minho did say they were just going to the movies – why would she need to dress up for that? But she decided to humor him and came to the building feeling a little too uncomfortable and dressed up for her liking.

I’m not doing this to impress him, she thought while scanning the doors with dozens of group names. This dress has been hanging in my closet forever so I might as well put it to use now that I have an excuse.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a hand harshly grab her wrist. A security guard leered at her, glancing at her face before quickly doing a once over of her person. He gruffly spoke, “What are you doing here? I know for a fact you aren’t a coordinator or manager.”

She waved her free hand frantically, cursing Minho for indirectly getting her into this situation. “No sir, I’m not either. But you see I was given a backstage pass by – “

The guard rolled his eyes before chuckling. “Look, the idols don’t’ need some overenthusiastic fan trying to break in their rooms while they’re getting ready for their performances. Now if you’ll allow me to you out the building without protests, I promise I won’t press charges.”

Her face turned red in anger at his accusation. While a small part of her brain understood where he was coming from, her irritation and frustration at not being able to find Shinee’s room got to the better of her rationality. She violently shook the guard’s hand off of her wrist and turned her heel to run in the opposite direction when the guard’s yells suddenly came to a stop.

“Excuse me, Guard Nam, she is Shinee’s guest for today,” a voice said behind her, causing the guard to stop in his tracks. “Keep up the good work sir.”

She turned around to thank her savior before visibly flinching at the sight of him. He nodded at the guard who was apologizing profusely. Onew carefully avoided her gaze as he waved the guard off.

Their last encounter could not have gone in a worse direction. Both were angry and defiant, accusing the other of breaking their friendship, destroying any hope of an actual relationship. She had been torn over the harsh words they exchanged and her feelings towards him turned into anger. As much as she realized the pain she had inflicted on him, she couldn’t forget the loneliness he had played a great part in. Her pride could never tell him that she was sorry for what she said and in truth, she wasn’t sorry at all. She reveled in hurting him, making him realize his faults and mistakes…

Onew opened his mouth to speak but before he could get his words out, Taemin had come rushing towards the pair.

“Ah, ____ sshi!” Taemin called out. “Minho hyung is about to go on stage for his solo. He told me to find you and force you to sit in the front row while he performs.”

The younger male signaled her to follow. With one last look at Onew, with one last look at Jinki oppa, she followed Taemin to the stage.

She missed the walls around Onew crumble as he stared at her back.

He was nervous. Minho knew his vocal strength was nothing like Jonghyun’s or Onew’s. His voice was a low baritone and SM focused on training him to perfect his rapping skills rather than his singing. But his friend from Konkuk recommended a song that was in his current vocal range. Though he initially didn’t choose to sing the song for his solo, after reading the lyrics he knew that this was his song. Despite the weeks of preparing, he felt as if he was about to go on Shinee’s first live stage again. Only now he felt worse without the support of s to be nervous with him.

I wonder if Taemin found her, Minho thought as he took a deep breath before appearing on stage. A rush of screams flooded the studio but he couldn’t hear anything because his heart racing in his ears. He scanned the audience uselessly; the lights away from the stage were all off and all of the rest of the lights were directed on him. He had no idea if she was there or if she wasn’t. So he closed his eyes as he heard a guitar tune begin and imagined a familiar face. He saw her smiling as his eyes were closed, pleading for the illusion not to shatter.

He began to sing, hoping his voice would reach her.

After telling his manager he’d be back in the dorm by one, he rushed out of the building while still in his stage clothes. Minho saw her leaning against a wall, his scarf wrapped around her neck and a black umbrella rested in her hands. Minho frowned at her shivering, suddenly torn between regret for requesting that she wear a dress yet estate that she did. Running towards her, his frown deepened further at the sight of her blank face. He had been expecting her to praise him for his performance but as he stood in front of her, she said nothing.

“Sorry I made you wait,” he said as they began to walk as she opened the umbrella and he put on a hat. “The theater isn’t that far from here so let’s grab something warm to drink before going in, okay?”

___ nodded gratefully and Minho smiled at her reaction. He adjusted his hat as they weaved through the crowds to disguise himself better and retrieved a pair of black and pink colored glasses from his coat pocket. She stared at him comically, inquiring why he was wearing such an usual pair of frames.

“Believe it or not, Shinee is getting pretty popular nowadays. I can’t just walk around anymore without having a couple of people come up to me for an autograph or picture,” Minho said tiredly. “It’s flattering and really great but I don’t want to deal with it tonight.”

She shot him a questioning look before slowly asking, “But shouldn’t you be glad? I mean, if fans recognize you then that means your ultimate goal is within reach.”

Minho shrugged in response. “I guess that’s true but I think we’re better off not having a picture of you plastered all over the internet for walking with Shinee’s Minho. People definitely won’t expect me to wear half pink glasses so I think you’re safe for the night.”

They reached the café and theatre in time for the movie. Minho bought them tickets to an old Hollywood film. She appreciated the gesture but she wished he asked if she had seen it before. From the time she lived in the States to now, she had watched the movie several times. It was a good movie but she couldn’t keep her mind focused tonight. She squirmed in her seat as she tried not to think of the day’s previous events. The more she tried to watch the movie, the more she found herself thinking of the minute’s encounter with her old friend.

She quickly spared a glance at Minho’s direction before her eyes slanted into near slits. He had his eyes closed lightly, clearly sleeping. She pursed her lips in annoyance, tugging his arm to jolt him awake before silently storming out of the theatre.

Why am I so angry? This has happened before with Jinki and I just woke him up while laughing it off. Minho’s probably tired from his schedule but… She furiously began stomping into an alley way when hearing his footsteps behind her. I really didn’t expect this from him of all people.

“Hey! ___!” Minho called out while rubbing his eyes in tiredness. She continued to walk deeper into the alley, intent on ignoring him. Minho grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. “Will you just wait a second?”

Her lips curled into a sneer and she stood defiantly in front of him. “I think I’ve wasted a little more than a few seconds waiting for you.”

At her retort, Minho furrowed his brows, clearly getting angry as well. “Look, I’m sorry I fell asleep okay? I’ve just been busy with my schedule and the whole idol business and I haven’t been getting much sleep lately. But honestly, I thought you would understand and at least be a bit nicer about it – “

“Schedules. Idols. Of course normal old me would understand. Both of you are the same, thinking that you can just use someone until you go out and do your own thing. Trying to force others to follow.  You never think about how others feel so why the hell should I understand what you’re going through!” ____ scoffed, laughing at him bitterly. She didn’t know where her words were coming from as she nearly screeched at him. Her temper was rising ever since before his performance and she was at her breaking point.

“I didn’t plan for this to happen!” Minho yelled, backing her into the wall while throwing his hat off of his head. “So what if I’m an idol? I can’t’ do anything about it now. I don’t know why you’re suddenly so angry over something like this. And if you haven't notice, I didn’t have to ask you on this date. I didn’t force you to come! But I’m sorry for actually wanting to see you instead of just passively sitting around waiting for whatever screwed up relation we have with each other pops up and forces us together. Unlike you, I’m trying! I’m trying to make whatever this thing we have work! Do you think I have to do everything right, that you have no responsibility in maintaining a relationship? Do I have to do every little thing just so you feel like you’re wanted when you won’t do the same for me – “

Slap.

The rose colored glasses fell.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare even think about talking to me as if you know what I’ve been through,” she said in quiet anger as a deep red mark appeared on his cheek. “And why are you trying? Why are you bothering if you think I’m so unresponsive?! I’m just a person who the world decided to throw on you when it got bored! Why bother trying Minho when you know that we having nothing but those stupid random meetings to define us?”

Minho looked at her in disbelief.

“Why am I trying? Why?” Minho choked out, frantically looking into her eyes for her understanding, for her comprehension. “Did you even listen to the song…? Did you even listen to the song I sang for you today?”

She began to walk down the alley before giving him one last bitter smile.

“I don’t want to listen to another word you say, Minho sshi.”

Minho stared at the glasses on the ground, wondering if it was worth picking up the shatters.

Author’s Note: Well, when things seem to be going fantastic this is what I do. Short chapter and jumps all over the place, but necessary to get this story finally moving.
Poor Onew, I’m too mean to my favorite dubu. :[
I hope you guys got the rose colored glasses reference, if not well... then I’ll explain it in my next chapter/author’s note.
The song Minho sang was “Milk Tea” by Fukuyama Masaharu. If any of you are curious and/or don’t know the song, I will post up a link in my "status" section that has the video and lyrics of Minho singing. You can also find it on google and youtube. Let’s pretend he sang it in Korean here for my story’s sake, okay?
I also realize that Minho would actually be graduating high school at this time. >_< Please excuse this mistake! I would go back and fix it if I could but it seems impossible at this point.
Thanks for all of your comments/subscriptions! Special thanks to chasethestars for pointing out my errors!