I am always thinking that I can have you..
I am always thinking that you will be in my side forever..
Now I just watch her have you..
It’s getting kinda hard to convince my heart to let you go..

I remember how your eyes light up when I start to sing...
Makes it hard for me to breathe...
I am weak when see your smile...

I'm helpless

I miss you

I want you back

Can you hear my heart?
It’s calling you to comeback

Namjoo looked at her note books, it filled with her confession. She felt her heart in pain. It was like something missing, something disappear from her heart.
“So many girls who like you oppa” Namjoo remembered the day when Hayoung told her about someone that she liked. It was Kim Jongdae...

Kim Jongdae her drug, her medicine, her healer, her world, and her reason to exist. She didn’t know it was hard without him in her side. No one would cheer her when she sad anymore, no one would ask her ‘are you okay?’ ‘Are you happy?’ and many more now...

Kim Jongdae disappeared from her side, he didn’t contact her or talked to her anymore. She thought he would back to her after the last time they talked in his room. But he never back... he still remain beside Naeun, she knew they didn’t have any relationship between girlfriend and boyfriend, it just sister and brother but it hurt her so much. Jongdae is her oppa... she thought he just her oppa... just hers...  no one else but her.

But she should realize that he wasn't hers. She didn’t have any reason to keep him for herself.
“Love never beside me... I should know it”

***

Day by day Namjoo left alone...
Jongin joined student council and really busy with his job as a vice president there. Hayoung... the one who said would be her friend got stolen by her bestfriend. And her best friend, Naeun, after she got close with Jongdae she never had time for her.

And about Jongdae... She really didn’t know him anymore... he changed...

All Namjoo did just live her life alone... she walked alone, eat alone, and did everything alone...
She had another friend of course, she had so many friends in her class but no one close to her, they were just her ‘friend’... But she never lost her smile like before. All her pain about being ‘shadow’ taught her to be stronger person, she didn’t want to back to her dark side. Even she had no one in her side, she believed something bigger waited her.

***
Namjoo didn’t see the road when she walked to campus this morning. She enjoyed the morning's weather around her. Suddenly, a red motorcycle ran to her. “Hey watch out!” The rider of that motorcycle shouted to warn Namjoo. But Namjoo had a day dreaming, so she didn’t hear the warn. The rider held the brake and tried to stop the motorcycle before hit Namjoo. Namjoo saw it, she saw the motorcycle ran into her. She could feel her foot paralyzed, she couldn’t move to escape from the hit. But the luck still with her, the motorcycle just hit her side softly and fell. Namjoo was fine but the rider groaned in pain.
“Oh my god! I am sorry, I don’t see you” Namjoo ran to the guy who rode the motorcycle. “Are you okay?” she checked him.
“I am fine” he put off his helmet. “Good I am not forget to wear my helmet”
 “I am really sorry...” Namjoo didn’t know what to do. she just stared at him with panic expression.
“It’s okay, not your fault” he stood up and lost his balance. luckyly Namjoo caught him and helped him to stood up.
“Tell me if you are hurt, I will take you to hospital”
“Well, if I am not hurt at all it’s a miracle, but unfortunately I can feel the pain all over my body”
Namjoo called the mechanic to take care the motorcycle when she brought him to the nearest clinic.
“Are you really okay?”
“I am not going to die. What about your arm?”
“Oh it just little scratches”
“I am Sehun by the way” He passed his arm out.
“Namjoo” she took his hand. “About your motorcycle...”
“I’ll take care of it”

***

“Namjoo!” Hayoung called her when she saw her went to canteen.
“Hi Hayoung! What’s up? Something urgent happens?”
“Oh yeah... I am a bit feel bad leave you behind recently. I am sorry”
“It’s okay” Namjoo smiled.
“I heard from Chen oppa that you used to be a friend with Naeun, what happen with two of you now? You never look together with her anymore. Naeun really good friend, do you fight each other?”
“Yeah she really a good friend” Namjoo took her food. She wanted to tell everything that happened with her and Naeun in the past to Hayoung, but it also would expose her feeling toward Jongadae. She would hurt Hayoung if she told about her feeling, so she decided to quite. Hayoung read her expression and open
“I know you like Chen oppa”
“What?!”
“Naeun tells me”
“Wait! Naeun tells you? But I never tell her!” suddenly she remembered what Naeun said to her a few days ago.
“Don’t take wrong meaning about Chen oppa kindness, Namjoo”
Namjoo could understand why Naeun talked like that to her now.
“Namjoo!” Hayoung her shoulder. “What are you thinking about?”
“Oh it’s nothing”
“If you curious why she know it, maybe the answer is because she knows you so well. So, without you tell her she will know”
“Oh yeah it happens... Naeun knows me so well” Namjoo ate her food and kept silent.
“Ah let’s have dinner together with me tonight~ with Naeun too! Let’s be a friend, we three... You, Naeun, and I” Hayoung asked her
“Why so sudden?”
“It’s not so sudden! Naeun already made this plan yesterday” Hayoung smiled. “Ah before that I want apologize to you”
“Why?”
“It’s a secret between me and Naeun actually... I feel bad do this to you but I know what Naeun reason, I hope you’ll be okay with her decision”
“What do you mean?”
“Just come to this restaurant tonight” Hayoung gave Namjoo an adress.

***

Namjoo still couldn’t decide... should she come or not. She felt something bad would happen if she came, but she really curious what is Hayoung and Naeun plan? Why Naeun hide it from her? Why Hayoung asked her apology? She really wanted to know. So, she decided to come...
“Namjoo! Here!” Hayoung waved at her. She saw Naeun beside her, she looked so uncomfortable when saw Namjoo came but she tried to smile.
“Hi Naeun” Namjoo greeted her awkwardly.
“Hello Namjoo, How are you?” Naeun smiled at her. Namjoo knew the atmosphere really uncomfortable, it was like she shouldn’t be there, she was a party breaker, and she wasn’t invited. “Sit here Namjoo” Naeun tapped a chair beside her. Not long after Namjoo arrived, Jongdae and Jongin came together. “Here Chen oppa, Kai!” Naeun shouted. It was a desk for 6 people, Naeun arranged their place to sit. She sat in the center, Namjoo in her left, Jongin in front of Namjoo, Jongdae in front of her and Hayoung beside Jongdae.
“I don’t know you will come Namjoo” Jongin said. She just smiled with Jongin words and thought, ‘I also don’t know you and Jongdae oppa will come’
“Let’s order our foods” Jongdae said.
“Wait! We still wait one person” Naeun said. She checked her phone and called someone. “Eonni, where are you?” she talked to someone. “Oh we are in table 10, eonni. Hurry up! I am starving here” she answered the question with cute voice and hung up.  After she hung up, a girl walked to their desk.
“Hi Naeun! I am sorry, I am late” She naturally sit in front of Hayoung, the only empty chair in this desk.
“Hi nuna!” Jongin greeted her.
“Hi eonni!” Hayoung also greeted her.
“Oh hi Kai, Hayoung! And you also here.. Chen” she greeted back.
“I don’t know you will come Bomi-ah” Jongdae said.
“Your little sister, Naeun, called me to come” Bomi sent a glare to Naeun. It was like she felt Naeun traped her.
“Hehe it because I owed a meal to Bomi eonni” Naeun explained. “Ah Namjoo... This is our senior in Dance Major. Eonni, this is Namjoo. She is Chen oppa’s junior”
“Hi Namjoo” she smiled.
“Hi sunbae” Namjoo smiled too.
“Call me eonni... I am not use to hear someone call me sunbae”

They ordered their meal. And during the dinner Naeun always talked about Bomi who watched every Jongdae’s performance in the past. She told Jongdae too that they had same hobby and should talk about their hobby often. Jongdae lighten the mood with his joke like usual. Naeun and Jongin talked non-stop, it first time Namjoo saw Jongin who talked much. She thought student council already changed him. Hayoung and Bomi also talked even a bit. Just Namjoo who kept closed and focused to her food.
“You are too focusing with your food Namjoo! Talk a bit” Jongdae opened a conversation to her.
“Oh yeah! It’s really spicy, I can’t open my mouth to talk” she responded.
“You don’t like spicy food, Namjoo?” Jongin asked.
“Oh yeah” Namjoo nodded but Jongdae looked at her. Namjoo knew what Jongdae thought. She lied.. Jongdae knew that she really enjoyed spicy food. She just didn’t want to talk. Namjoo just kept her head down and focused to her food. She didn’t know what to say. They had everything to share because they were in same field. Even Jongdae didn’t in the same field with them, he still could catch up what they talked about and gave a comment. Jongdae and Bomi knew each other since they were a freshmen. They talked much about their time together at that time. Namjoo regreted to come here, she knew something would happen but she didn’t know it would hurt her so much. Namjoo could tolerate if she was left behind. But she couldn’t stop her jealousy to see Jongdae and Bomi. This dinner arranged to make Bomi and Jongdae close each other, Naeun tried to be a match maker for them.
“Namjoo... can you help me with another event?” Jongin paid attention to her and asked. “We will have a charity event soon, can you help me to arrange the schedule? You are doing great last event”
“I don’t know”
“Please help me! We will do it together with other art and music department in different campus! Just you who can help me! Please...” Jongin begged.
“Just help him Namjoo, you can do it last event. I am sure you also can do it now” Jongdae convinced her. without any thought she said yes.
“You really busy with student council stuff” Naeun commented.
“Why? You also want to help? There will be so many new boys from other campus, you must be happy” Jongin said.
“Why should I? I am not interesting to do it! But I want to perform... maybe I will join the audition” Naeun stuck her tongue out. "And by the way, the one who will excited to meet new people is you not me! You must be happy to see many girls, don't you?" Naeun gave him a death glare.

They finished their meal and went home after paid the bill.
“Oppa, can you take me and Bomi eonni home?” Naeun asked Jongdae.
“Sure” Jongdae looked at her and opened the back seat.
“I will go with Namjoo then” Hayoung dragged Namjoo. “We go first! Bye everyone”

Namjoo and Hayoung went home with a taxi. Namjoo just quite all the way, Hayoung took a glance to her and bit her lips.
“I am sorry Namjoo... Are you okay?” Namjoo looked at her and nodded. “I know you are hurting but Naeun had a good reason to do it. You know that I like him too right? I am accpeting this plans because I can understand it... You too right? It’s for him. You will do the same, right?”
“hmm...  yeah I think! I am okay actually, so you don’t need to worry!” Namjoo smiled. “By the way, can I know what her reason is?”
“I will tell you if you promise you won’t be sad! I don’t know how much you like him, I am just afraid the reason will hurt you”
“You said you can understand, rihght? You said I will do the same, right? You said it’s for him, am I right?” Hayoung nodded. “So, don't worry I won’t be sad, trust me”
"Really?" Hayoung made sure and Namjoo nodded. "The reason is...."
Namjoo held her chest and smiled to Hayoung.

‘Sorry I am lying...’

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ta-dah!
New people come~ ^^
What will happen with the new people? kekek
By the way I really wanna ay thanks for all people who wait my story... Thank you very much ^^
I hope you enjoy it ><