Part of growing up is doing something you know you would end up regretting for a long while, like doing something wicked and running the risk of getting caught or something genuinely dangerous and you find yourself lucky to have survived unharmed.

You carefully set your keys down on the table as you felt a pounding on your chest.  All you seem to hear is the rushing of blood in your head that you could hardly make out what Jack was saying as he sits on your armchair.  It felt like your dad had caught you breaking curfew and you have no valid excuse for it.  In all the time you were together, you have never once seen him react this way.

“Where have you been?”  He repeats as you heard the door automatically lock as it shuts.

“Studio.  Working.  Where else could I be?”  You brushed the hair off your face with your hand with one .  “My centerpiece still hasn’t come to.”

He made a show of looking at his watch.  “Was that before or after you met with your old friend.”

You rubbed your knuckles against your forehead and counted to five in your head before answering.  “Before and after.  Are you stalking me now?  This is so out of character for you.”  You shook your head at him trying your best to figure him out.  He must’ve seen you at the coffee shop earlier, but he must’ve also seen you walking away from Nichkhun.

“What were you doing with him all this time?”  Jack was red and breathing heavily as he spoke.

Another count and this time to ten.  “He happened to be at the coffee shop where I was.  We talked and that’s it.  I went back to work after that.”

“Don’t lie to me.”  His nostrils flared as he glared at you.  His voice much louder this time.

You clamped your hand over your mouth, digging your fingers into your cheeks until you began to feel the pain.  And when you thought you could speak without screaming, you slowly lowered your hand.  “I gave you my explanation for being late, which in fact, I really don’t have to.  I told you what happened.  I told you the truth.  But you know what?”  There was a long pause before you sighed deeply.  “You won’t believe me.  I think you just won’t believe whatever it is I say because I cheated on you once before.  So what’s the use in talking?”  You stormed off to the kitchen in a hurry.

Jack stood and followed you into the kitchen.  “I saw you with him.”

“I’m so tired.  Really tired.  I’m up to here already.”  You motioned with your hand over your head.  “And if you came here looking for a fight, then you won’t find it here with me.  I just can’t.”  You shook your head at him in defeat.  “Believe it or not, we just talked…that’s it.  Now you could leave it at that or you could leave me alone.”

His jaw twisted to side as he paced the floor.  “That’s it?  You didn’t him this time?”  He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at you.

His sneering question added fuel to the fire already burning your self-control.  You felt like a fish out of water as your mouth opened and closed at the unfairness of the accusation.  How could he be so cruel?  He was never cruel, never rude.  “God Jack.”  You fought to keep the tears in your eyes from falling.  Unexpectedly, his words broke your heart.  He had never made you feel so hurt, so cheap, so low before.  “That hurt.”  You took a deep breath and turned your back towards him, unable to meet the anger in his eyes any longer.  There was no comfort in his eyes left for you anymore.  You leaned on the sink and kept your eyes closed.  It was as if the man in front of you was a different man and your Jack was gone.  “If that’s how you see me…I guess you really should’ve never went after me that night.”  Bitterness was evident in your voice as the blood drained from your face.  “Get out.”  You said softly.

“I’m sorry love, I didn’t mean it that way.”  Jack tried to take you in his arms, but you pushed his hands away.  “I was-“

“Get-out-Jack.”  Your words fought their way through gritted teeth as tears started to spill from your eyes down to your cheeks as you turned to face him.

“I’m not leaving you.”  He pulled you to his chest and wrapped his arms around you, but you pounded your fists on his chest telling him to let you go.  He advanced on you, shoving you up against the sink and grabbed your wrists with painful force you couldn’t help but wince.

“Let me go.”  You tried to release yourself from his grasp as he tried to transfer both of your wrists to one hand behind your back, squeezing so tightly you could feel the bones grinding against each other.  He watched the anger in your eyes melt into fear and listened to your frightened inhale of breath as he holds your face still with his now free hand.

“I’m never going to let you go.”  He whispered before he placed his lips over yours and kissed you so hard that it hurt.

You squirmed and tried to break free wanting him to stop, but with every movement you make, he grips on to you even tighter that you had no other choice at that moment but to bite his lower lip instead of returning the kiss.  He instinctively lets you go as he holds his bleeding lip.  “!”  He yelled and backhanded you across the face.  The signet ring he always wore on his finger broke the skin across your cheekbone.

The slap across your face left you reeling as you felt the skin around your eye swell and your mouth tasted of the iron tang of your own blood and his.  Not knowing what else to do, you sat on the floor next to his feet and fell silent as tears escaped your eyes and run down your face uncontrollably.

“I’m so sorry.  Baby, I’m sorry.”  He sat in front of you as he looked into your eyes glistening under a layer of tears.  “I don’t know what-”

“Please.  Stop.”  You begged as your voice broke.

He tried to grab hold of your face, but you flinched as soon as you saw him raise his hand.  “I never wanted to hurt you baby.  Oh my God, what did I do?”  His fingers moved through the air over your face, wanting to touch you to make you feel better, but knowing that it would only make you feel worse.  “I’m sorry.”  He began to tear up as he sees the damage he had done.

You raised your hand to your face to wipe away the tears only to smear the blood across your cheek.  “Jack…”

“Let’s get you to the hospital.”  He looked up to your face from where he had been staring at the bruises beginning to form in your wrists.

“No.”  You shook your head only to make yourself dizzy.  “I think I deserve that.”  You ignored the pain and smiled up at him in an attempt to reestablish the shattered rapport between you.  “But I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

His body slumped repentantly as he stared at you.  “I can’t leave you like this.”  He grabs your hands in his, cradling it with his long fingers.

“I can’t live like this.”  You leaned on the cabinet behind you and started sobbing as your vision began to get blurry on one eye.