Sandeul didn’t even know where to begin; the rain seemed to mimic his feelings. You know that cliché ‘hit by a freight train’; well Sandeul knew it in that instant better than anyone.

            ‘Where had that come from?!’ he thought frantically to himself until he flinched at the warm hand on his arm and saw the frightened eyes on him.

            “I’m sorry, Baro-ah. I just, um, I don’t know-“before he could finish, his feet were carrying him away from the bench. The pelting rain obscured his vision, but his brain told him to keep running until he couldn’t hear the calls from the younger behind him. ‘I’m sorry.’

--

            Tearing open the door only to find that Sandeul had not gone there, but he expected that. Sunwoo collapsed in the living room and silently sobbed. ‘Why do I always ruin things’ mentally scolding himself. *Achoo* ‘, well I guess sitting here in wet clothes isn’t helping anything’ he thought while wiping his nose.

            Shuffling first to his room to gather warm clothes, then to the bathroom, Sunwoo thought of all the places that Sandeul would have gone. ‘Where would I go if my best friend confessed to me?’, ‘How would I be feeling?’, ‘Ah, why do I do this?!’ thoughts and questions flooded his mind as he stood under the water.

            Feeling refreshed, Baro decided to call the only person who knew how he felt about Sandeul.

            “Jinyoung- hyung, I did it… I confessed to Deullie” a hint of sadness in his voice, audibly even over a phone line.

            “Baro-ah, shouldn’t that be a good thing? Why don’t you sound happy?”

            “… He ran away from me” fidgeting and not able to stay still, he relayed the traumatic event to his hyung. “We went to lunch and then took a walk in the park. You know the park a few blocks from our house. Well, then we sat on a bench cause we had been a bit tired. And we started talking and it just seemed like a good time to tell him.” Fresh tear trails stained his face, but he continued “After I told him it started raining and he didn’t say anything for a minute and then all he said was I’m sorry and I don’t know, and then ran away. And I don’t know where he went and I’m scared he won’t come back.”

            “Shhh, calm down. Baro-ah, I only heard like two thirds of that but I think I got the gist. Let’s calm down and brainstorm where he might’ve gone” There was an unexpected knock at Jinyoung’s door. “We both know how much he hates to run, so he wouldn’t go that-“ seeing the face in front of him, made him sigh the last word “-far. Baro-ah, I’m gonna have to call you back.”

            “What? Wait, did he run to your house- hello, hyung? Yah, that was rude!” Calming slightly because now he knew where Sandeul was, Sunwoo tried but failed to get some sleep.

--

            “Yah, no-“Jinyoung protested as he threw the phone and caught his fainting dongsaeng. Dragging him to the bathroom to get him under warm water, he tried to rouse Sandeul by tapping his cheeks and shoulders. “It’s a good think I hadn’t taken a shower yet” he grumbled to himself.

            *Achoo* “Thank god you’re not dead.”

            “Hyung? What are you doing?” looking around to find himself situated in Jinyoung’s lap leaning against his chest, water flowing over him once again.

            “What am I DOING? What are you doing; coming ten miles to my house uninvited in the RAIN?!” Remembering his earlier conversation with Sunwoo, Jinyoung calmed and started again. “Sandeul, you appeared at my door, soaked and then fainted. I thought the warm water would help.” All anger drained from him as he tightened his grip around Sandeul and let the water wash over them.

--

            “So you knew? Why didn’t you say anything?”

            Twenty minutes and two packages of ramen later, Jinyoung and Saneul were changed into warm clothes and facing each other on opposides of his small couch.

            “Well, I thought when he first told me that it would be just a crush cause you were always so nice to him. And of course some sort of affections would develop. And then about, when was it, two.. months ago. When you two first started talking about moving in together, he expressed to me that he still harbored residual intimate feelings. And asked me not to anything to you-“

            As Jinyoung continued talking, the darker Sandeul’s face became. “Stop, please. How can he even have those feeling for me? Sure I’ve shown kindness, but never anything that would make someone like me like that.”

            “What are you saying? It’s not like he could help falling for you or that you could be anything other than kind. That’s just who you are; kind and warm-hearted. I’m surprised more people haven’t confessed to you.”

            “No, that’s the problem. I don’t feel I deserve to be loved; I’m incapable of maintaining a relationship such as that. He made a mistake liking me. He shouldn’t, I'm just going to things up” Sandeul began hyperventilating and Jinyoung cradled him for the second time that night.

            “Hey, no, Sandeul-ah, shhh, no, don’t think like that. He confides in me quite often, especially about people he likes and gets with. And as we both know, he used to be quite the player and as such, would tell me all about his ‘escapades.” the younger’s hair he resumed. “But as soon as he started talking to you more, he stopped getting around and only talked about you; which is when I knew it wasn’t just a crush anymore.”

            Wiggling out of his grasp only to be caught again, Sandeul settled against his captor and huffed in defeat. “So what, hyung? You obviously didn’t hear what I just said, I don’t feel adequate enough to involve myself with another person. I don’t know how or where to start; it’s not like I had great examples to model my relationships off of.”

           “I heard you, but I was thinking: you and I talk quite often, so how is it that topic never came up? Either way, and I’m sorry this will sound so greasy, but Sandeullie, you are a wonderful human being who is going to make someone very happy someday; it just so happens that Baro wants to be that person because he loves you.”

            “L- love? He only said like to me. Do you know some-“

            “The last time we talked, which was about a week ago, he slipped the ‘L’ word and I called him out for saying it. He only blushed and turned away, which confirmed that he meant to say it. So what else do you want to know?” Jinyoung looked smug as he patted his dongsaeng's shoulder.

            Turning on his side to deeper burrow in to Jinyoung’s warm body, Sandeul muttered, almost inaudibly “I’m scared of love, hyung” squeaking out the last word.

            Tears picked at the corners of Jinyoung’s eyes as he held Sanduel tighter as the fell asleep.

a/n: OTL ugh, all I wanna do is write this story now! Like   That's how I feel about all this school .. but then I'm like  Thank you for reading! See you next chapter... whenever that is.