Seventh Voice

Jongin does as the elder told. Without wanting to wait longer, he repeats his question as he peers into his eyes curiously. “Hyung, what’s the matter you wanted to talk with me?”

“Before that... do you have anything to do afterwards?” Lu Han inquires.

He gives him a shake and answers, “Nope, hyung. I’m free today.”

“Actually, I wanted to talk about,” he pauses to take a breath, “Kyungsoo.”

Jongin’s face darkens almost immediately as soon as his former best friend’s name is suddenly mentioned.

“Jongin-ah? Are you still here?” Lu Han could somehow sense the tension flits across his face just right after he brought out Kyungsoo’s name. It’s as if the younger has lost his focus and silence ensues within him.

“Kyungsoo-yah...”

“It’s been a while since I last heard your name being called...”

“Oh, hyung...” Jongin’s got back to his sense. A tiny yet insipid smile quirk upon his lips, making his face looks even drearier. “Why did you bring up his name?”

“Like I said just now, I wanted to ask you about him.”

Jongin lets out a bland chuckle. “But why me? I guess you could’ve asked him on your own, hyung.”

“Just listening to his name makes me miss him even more...”

“Ugh why did I have to break off our friendship just because of a trivial matter? I could’ve just let it slide!”

Lu Han rolls his eyes inquiringly at the thoughts the latter has just spoken. What did Jongin mean with ‘a trivial matter’? If both of them broke up just because of a petty matter, the situation wouldn’t have been intense to this extent.

He would have loved to bombard him with a set of questions but he has to be patient. Jongin would be thrown off guard if he does that on the spur of the moment.

“I know if I ask him, he wouldn’t entertain me, Jongin-ah,” replies Lu Han to the previous question.

He emits a sigh before nodding in agreement. “Fine, I’ll help you, hyung.”

“Seriously, you’ll help me?” His eyes glimmer in exhilaration.

The younger nods again. “Yes, hyung. I’ll help you... so now tell me what kind of things you want to know about him.”

“Actually, I’ve asked your friend, Jongdae-yah, about this... but he kind of gave me the wrong info.”

“Jongdae-yah?” He quirks an eyebrow. “What did you ask him, hyung?”

“Hmm... about why you stopped being friends with Kyungsoo.”

“Then what did he tell you, hyung?” Jongin somehow becomes restless.

“I guess I shall not bring it up, Jongin-ah,” says Lu Han, “it’s still wrong nevertheless.”

“That bastard! How could he tell Lu Han hyung whereas I’ve clearly told him to keep it hidden from anyone else!”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” the younger hums softly, “To be honest, I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s too sensitive and I don’t want Kyungsoo to be ashamed.”

“Then you could tell me in another way.” Lu Han shoots him a meaningful smile.

“How?” he asks.

“Give me your hand,” he remarks, still smiling at him. “Your hand will tell me everything.”

Though Jongin is somewhat hesitant to give his hand, he eventually lets the elder to hold his hand.

Slowly, he grasps the younger’s hand firmly and closes his eyes. On the spur of the moment, he could feel the electrifying sensation as their hands rub against each other.

Literally and for a split second, he hops in the time machine, drifting rapidly towards the past.

***

It’s not like Jongin hasn’t sensed before.

His friend has definitely been weird lately. The old Kyungsoo has never kept a huge distance between both of them. Whenever he asks the latter to hang out or doing something together, he would instantly turn him down. Plus, Kyungsoo seems a little paler than before, as if he were putting much efforts on something that Jongin has no idea what is it.

To not say he’s not offended, he would be lying. A part of him resents his friend but the other part of him solely believes Kyungsoo is still the same Kyungsoo. He loves the latter that he doesn’t want to spit any groundless thoughts.

The next day at school, Jongin attempts to interrogate him in order to confirm what he has been thinking of. Enough is enough. No more time for him to stay silent. His apprehension for the one who he loves could not be taken granted.

“Kyungsoo-yah, do you know that you seem to have changed these days?” he asks during the empty period. Since he sits near the latter, it is pretty easy to communicate directly with him.

The wide-eyed guy is caught off guard of the sudden question. Kyungsoo, who is busy writing brief notes for the recent lesson, loses his balance on his pen, causing it to fall over his notes. His fingers are slightly trembled but he tries to suppress it.

Peering at his enthusiastic friend, he manages to let out a dry chuckle. “I seemed to have changed? Are you out of your mind, Jongin-ah?” he quips with yet another chortle. “I’m not changing at all!”

“Then why these days you’ve been ignoring me?” he provokes assertively.

“Who says?” Kyungsoo fakes a confused look. “Since when I’ve been ignoring you?”

“Indeed, you have, Kyungsoo-yah.” Jongin lets out an infuriated sigh. He is kind of annoyed when the latter is being oblivious though he seems to mean it.

“Whenever I wanted to hang out with you, you always turned me down. Not to mention, you looked very pale like you hadn’t had enough sleep. To say I was not disappointed in you, I’d be lying.”

As Kyungsoo would rather stay silent than react to his rant, Jongin bothers to rasp further. “Tell me, Kyungsoo-yah.... do you have problem?” he inquires keenly, dragging his chair closer to him. “If you have one, you should share it with me. I’ll help you out as much as I could.”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. He’s not ready to spill out his inner thoughts. He’s afraid he’d end up crying himself silly for his wrongdoing. It’s not like he hasn’t been warned before. “Jongin-ah.... actually... I have-”

“Do you have financial problem, eh?” he chimes in. “If you have, I can give you some. You don’t have to pay back since I’ll be giving you for free.”

He shakes his head with an audible sigh. “It’s not about money, Jongin-ah... I still have some...”

“Then what is it?”

“You know what... I don’t think I could share with you...”

“Why?” His face turns slightly dark upon hearing his answer. “Or do you think your other classmates could help you instead of me?” Jongin glances over them sinisterly.

How ironic Jongin is. Though he’s having a difficult time, he still has the chance to bring up about them. Yes, Jongin is true. He has no friends besides himself but did he have to be so blunt during this time? It causes his heart to ache profusely.

“I need to go to the toilet for a moment,” Kyungsoo replies bitterly, “don’t follow me.”

Much to Jongin’s surprise, his question is left unanswered. Kyungsoo stands up abruptly and leaves him wonderstruck.

Jongin sighs in exasperation upon his unexpected withdrawal, not knowing that he has made his friend’s heart shatter into parts.

***

Seriously, it is beyond his expectation to see the certainty he’s facing in which causes his wretched heart become more and more heartbroken, as if his life were at the brink of death.

Jongin lets out a sigh of mixture of devastation and rage. Kyungsoo has made him to detest him somehow.

The other day when Kyungsoo dashed just right after school had ended, Jongin secretly followed him behind as he utterly wanted to know what his friend was up to these days.

Much to his disbelief, the friend of his who he always deems as an upright, well-mannered guy, surprised him in a flash of lightning. He saw him hanging out with the despicable Yifan and his friends. They seemed rather casual as though they had known Kyungsoo for ages. Yet, he couldn’t get a good grasp of what they were doing because he freaked out that he’ll be caught red-handed. He merely hiding between the walls nearby the deserted clubroom that they were currently in. Nevertheless, he certainly knew they had done something horrible towards Kyungsoo. It would be a lie if they made friend with a person as geeky as Kyungsoo.

Unable to hide his curiosity, he makes up his mind to confront his friend. In that way, he’ll get to know the truth and the impenetrable barrier between them will be completely over.

“Kyungsoo-yah, let’s talk for a moment,” Jongin calls upon out of the blue, tugging at his friend’s arm before the latter could disappear from the classroom right after the bell rings.

Kyungsoo looks rather disoriented, but nods at once. “What do you want to say, Jongin-ah?”

 “About you,” he hums quite softly, trying to hold in his blatancy for a mere moment.

“Me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that Yifan and his friends have been harassing you?” Well, he spits out at once without ignoring how shocked his friend might be.

Wonderstruck, Kyungsoo finds himself in a state of shudder. “H-how did y-you know?”

“It doesn’t matter how’d I know,” he interjects, “I just want to know why you’re not telling me about them? I was freaking upset over it, you know? Or... do you not think me as your friend like I do?”

“N-nope, Jongin-ah... it’s not like what you think... I just-”

“What did they do to you?” he cuts him off abruptly. “Did they bully you or threaten you to do things for their sakes?”

The latter inhales deeply. “Jongin-ah... please listen to me first,” he takes a pause, “let me explain what did actually happen. Don’t simply jump into conclusions, would you?”

Jongin clicks his tongue with displeasure and soon heaves a snort of frustration. This has been way outrageous than he first imagined.  “You do really not think me of your friend, don’t you?”

“Jongin-ah, please stop your accusation towards me. I didn’t-”

He fakes a laugh instead of giving him off a devastated look. No words could describe how much he is disappointed in Kyungsoo. He’s his best friend, after all and yet, he makes himself as if he were merely his normal classmate. How pathetic Kim Jongin is.

“Finally, I know what you think of me, Kyungsoo-yah,” he remarks unhappily, grabbing his school bag and he’s ready to ditch the classroom at once. “I’m not your friend. Since you’ve got Yifan and his friends by your side, they must be your friend, right?”

“We’re over now. I’m not your friend anymore,” are the words that literally make Kyungsoo’s heart crush into pieces.

He sluggishly walks to the door and before he could stride o