Eleventh Voice

Silence.

It is literally a prolonged, dead silence – as if they were simply at the cemetery. Only the hushed voices of the students and the sound of books being flipped dominate the library.

Neither Lu Han nor Kyungsoo stare at each other’s eyes. They practically avert their gaze somewhere instead of the one that sits before them. Lu Han answers the question sheet given by Kyungsoo quietly whereas Kyungsoo does his own stuff to spare the time.

Lu Han, as he has clearly stated before, feels too uncomfortable to stick to the younger. If Yoona and Mrs. Jo haven’t forced him to attend today’s study session, he wouldn’t have been here in the first place. On top of that, something bad would happen. Perhaps the teacher would somehow use her authority as the homeroom teacher to lodge a report to the Principal and heck, he is so dead.

Glancing over at the restless elder, Kyungsoo stifles a low sigh, gripping the middle of the pen with an ounce of displeasure in his heart.

Tossing his pen aside and the revision guide remains untouched, Kyungsoo eventually finds himself sighing audibly.

He has no idea what has actually happened towards the elder. It is so unexpected and thrown him off guard. He has been basically ditching the study session for three times and whenever they happen to meet somehow, the elder would instantly withdraw and before Kyungsoo could speak a word, his vision has completely vanished. He attempts to have a talk concerning his sudden change towards him but Lu Han pays no heed.

To say he is not distraught, it would be an understatement. He is utterly and mentally devastated. The sight of the ignorant elder makes his heart sink to the bottom. The tables are turned and there are no more liveliness and sparkle splashes across the elder’s face. It is now covered with a thick layer of coldness and it seems as if it is never going back to basics.

As far as he can recall, Lu Han has started to be reserved towards him starting from the day he got ‘kidnapped’ with the help by Yoona. Even though he finds it creepy when the latter tied him up and Lu Han then did unreadable thing with his hand, he did not feel intimidated at all. He was thinking of something else – like Lu Han would have threatened him for money, wanted him to be his slave and there goes a list of absurd things he did ponder during the nerve-wrecking moment.

After a while he explored his hand, the elder left him hanging the moment he suddenly walked out of the classroom with his expression changed drastically. He did ask Yoona to let him go before he withdrew. Even the latter, herself, was wonderstruck and did not expect Lu Han would easily let him go after a mere few minutes.

“H-hyung,” Kyungsoo utters the endearment restlessly, finally building up his courage to have a sort of men talk with the elder. In spite of the foreseen implication that he would ignore him yet again this time, he does not give it a damn. He has had enough of him. Lu Han’s feigning ignorance (which he believes) makes him feel like wanting to kick him in the junk, literally.

Lu Han gawks at him in mild surprise as he hears his voice. He looks up at him momentarily before bobbing his head down back, focusing on the question sheet again even though it is evident that he does nothing. He merely dashes off unnecessary words on the paper, trying to look that he’s actually answering the questions.

“Hyung,” he reiterates, voice becoming rather certain and he could peer at him without distraction. “I’m talking to you. Could you please spare me your ing precious time for me?”

Lu Han has his eyes wide at the profanity. People like Kyungsoo wouldn’t have used such vulgar words if they were not pissed off.

Feebly and monotonously, he trails his eyes at him and their gaze meet. “What do you want?”

Kyungsoo grits his teeth. “I want us to talk. For how more weeks do you want to still act as though we were complete strangers, huh?”

“I’ve never thought that way,” he deadpans, “but if you think like that, I’ve got nothing to say.”

The younger’s breath gets hitched at his remark. He purses his lips shut momentarily and takes a deep breath.

Silently, he emits a chuckle – an ironic one. Who would think a nobleman as perfect as Lu Han would have changed so radically?

He is a human being, after all. People change so does him.

After dissipating a rushing thought, Kyungsoo nods at himself and begins to pack his stuff up and shove it in his bag. This study session should not be longer existed from the start if he ever knows that Lu Han is going to act this way.

He is too dumb to believe that this meeting today would mean that the elder has ‘forgiven’ him whatsoever. However, he is undeniably wrong. Lu Han has not still changed, warts and all.

“I just happened to remember that I need to go home earlier today... so goodbye,” he rasps and does not even take a short glimpse at the latter before he withdraws out of sight.

“If you’re still going to act like you were a kid, no one wants to befriend you including me, Kyungsoo,” Lu Han finally speaks and it manages to halt the younger’s steps. “You’re seventeen year-old, Kyungsoo. Pretty please... act like a man. An all grown-up man.”

And Kyungsoo freezes at his position and Lu Han simply leaves the library first.

***

Lu Han and Yoona hang out at the rooftop after the school hour ends. It has been way too long since they last sat down for a chat. Right after their scene with Kyungsoo ended with much bewilderment, Lu Han has started to be cold and their relation goes off for weeks.

However, it continues when Lu Han confronts her two days later to discuss about Kyungsoo’s problem, they go along well again and Yoona could not help but be extremely delighted. The thought of the latter hates him has driven away from her mind.

“Why are we here, Han?” she asks lightly, gazing momentarily into his eyes.

“No idea. I just want to be here.” He pulls out a smile. “I’d always drop by here whenever I want to be alone or need serenity.”

“Then why did you ask me to come along?” Yoona rolls her eyes, clueless. “If you want to be alone, you shouldn’t have asked me in the first place. It feels like I’m such a hindrance.”

Lu Han pretty knows he’s trapped in his words. He shouldn’t have spoken those words from the start. He’s too silly to have just sensed that girls have fragile hearts. Yoona must have felt a pang of guilty stabs her heart.

“I should’ve said no when he asked me to come over here! Silly Im Yoona!”

“Yah Im Yoona, why you always melt whenever Han asks you for a favour?!”

Lu Han stares into her eyes and is surprised that the moment he does it, Yoona fortuitously shoves out her inner thoughts.

He lets out a sigh of burden and his hands trails at hers tightly. “Yoona… listen here,” he kicks off quite frenziedly. “I didn’t mean what I said. I’m sorry, okay?”

“Oh...” Yoona senses her cheeks are warmly flushed. She closes her eyes for a second before slowly pulls hers out from the latter’s grip. The fact that Lu Han holds her hand so tightly sends chills down her spine. She is embarrassed – well, too embarrassed that she does not bother looking at him even for slight.

“Oh, sorry,” he blurts out as he’s just aware of his cute, impudent act of holding her hand. It just came out naturally and he was really oblivious why he held her hand a moment ago.

Silence ensues and the two awkward people tend to not speak further into a conversation. They are both mortified of what has just happened.

“You know what, Yoona?” Lu Han opens his mouth when he has just thought of an idea. “You are the first person that I personally bring you up here. I’ve never talked that I love to come here to anyone before. You are the first one ever.”

“Oh... really?” To say, she isn’t exhilarated, she would be lying. In fact, she is too happy and literally feels touched. ‘The first one’ feels too superior that anything that she’s ever gotten before.

“I didn’t know that no one knows that you like being up here...”

“Wait a minute,” he trails off, eyes widening. “Baekhyun-ah knows I love being here since he spotted me once here. But I didn’t bring him up here. He came here alone.” He recalls the memory where Baekhyun met here to appreciate what he had done to making him confess to his crush, Kim Taeyeon.

“Oh, I see.” Yoona chuckles in amusement. She then puts her guts together before she heaves a sigh of determination and stares into Lu Han’s eyes deeply. “Han...”

“Hmm?” He tilts his head at her direction. “What’s the matter?”

“Do you not like me?”

The question catches him off guard. But he slightly shrugs it off and pulls himself together. “Of course I like you, Yoona!” He lets out an awkward laugh. “You’re my friend! You, uhm, have been helping me a lot regarding Kyungsoo and Jongin. I owe you a lot.”

She knows it is bound to come so she is not disappointed. However, she feels like something is missing – well, it is not. Her intuition tells her that Lu Han is a fake. He pretends it or in a simpler term, his words are all deceptive. She knows he indeed means what he has said but it feels like something is off – like there’s something stuck in his throat that prevents him to speak freely.

Or so she thinks.

“Not in a friendly way, Han,” she snaps, getting a little irritated. “I mean, do you not have affectionate feelings for me?”

“Oh,” that’s the only word he could think of right now. It’s not like he’s at loss of word or dumbstruck by Yoona’s sudden question about love. He just doesn’t know how to answer it. It’s too complicated. Everything that hangs on his shoulder is waiting for him. He needs to solve Kyungsoo’s problem first of all before jumping about what he really feels for the latter.

“Han...?” She gives him a questioning look. “Are you still here?”

He jolts back to his senses and takes a short glimpse at her before he makes up his mind to tie all her curiosity.

“Yoona... listen to what I’m going to say here,” he says, voice turning a little bit intense and his expression enlightens it evidently.

Yoona nods and is looking forward to hearing his next remark.

“I’ve yet to help Kyungsoo to the end so I think we shouldn’t talk about this sort of matter right now,” he sighs deeply. “Kyungsoo is my number one priority now. I don’t want to break my promise to Krystal. She’s expecting a lot from me. She’s helped me countless time so yeah... I don’t want to let her down this time.”

Yoona is having a fight with her own heart that it seals her lips for a moment. A part of her has expected this to come from Lu Han but however, a tiny part of her thinks that the latter would change his mind and say the opposite. However, she knows, it is beyond her power.

This sort of matter. Yoona chuckles dryly. As a matter of fact, it hurts her a lot more than his entire remark.

“I get it, Han,” she sums up and gets prepared to leave the scene. There’s no use for her to be here anymore. It will only make her hurt more, though. “You should help Kyungsoo for this time being because he’s your current priority and I’ll keep helping you no matter what.”

Before she walks out to the exit, Yoona turns around and says, “and please... don’t mind of what I said earlier. You’re only going