Fourteenth Voice

/warning; a very, very long chapter. read at your own risk./

“Bye, guys. See you tomorrow,” Minseok bids his friends goodbye when they reach the front gate to part ways. A jovial smile twists upon his lips when the two of them wave at him cordially before they disappear to their respective paths.

Just as he is about to turn to the main road which would lead him to the subway station, he happens to witness a rather intense fight between his own sister and to his amazement, his best friend, Lu Han.

“What’s going on between them?” Minseok muses silently. He rubs his temple occasionally, trying to figure out what is the reason that leads to fighting. From his observation, it seems like Seohyun is throwing a big tantrum; she shoves the elder away when he tries to grip her arm. Bunch of harsh words flow out her lips as she keeps on walking and sometimes pushes Lu Han away when he gets in her way.

Minseok heaves a sigh, mentally criticizing his sister’s civility in front of the onlookers. How could she act so impudently by shrieking so rowdily to the elder as though there were no people looking at their direction? She is a girl, after all, and a girl should not act like a guy.

Seohyun is recognized for being a demure and innocent girl and also, in school. Hence, when she treats his friend like this makes Minseok could not help but be quizzical. Seohyun has never thrown such a fit if she is not at the maximum level of rage. She is a type of person who would rather cool down and take it easy if she ever encounters a problem.

“Seohyun-ah, what are you acting like this?”

“I have no idea why you don’t want to see my face!”

“If I made mistakes, please forgive me!”

“You’re literally like my sister so how can I stay put if you ignore me like this?”

Minseok grunts again as he listens to his friend’s inestimable rants. Making his mind up to simmer down the dark atmosphere, he runs after them who have been consistently walking down the road without a single break.

However, when he has reached them, Seohyun sprints down the road without giving a single damn towards the busy road. Lu Han, who is in quite a shock, does not follow her behind.

“Lu Han-ah, what happened?” Minseok questions, almost breathlessly due to constant running.

“Oh, Minseok-ah...” The latter is flustered by his friend’s presence. “I don’t know...” He shakes his head. “I just don’t know. She practically pushed me away whenever I tried to get close to her!”

“Don’t worry.” Minseok smiles neutrally. “I’ll try to talk to her so you don’t have to worry, okay?”

“Err... can you?”

“Of course I can, buddy!” He beams at his friend reassuringly and pats his back, as though giving him a sense of faith deep within himself. “Just believe me. I’ll take care of the rest.”

***

“Seohyun, hold on!” He barely manages to get ahead of his sister after a half way to their room. “How could you leave me when I’ve yet to ask-”

Minseok is caught off guard and his remark is left incomplete when he sees his sister is in a state of bawling her eyes out.  She bobs her head down to avoid being seen by him, although he has already known through her trembling shoulders and whimpering sounds.

He comes closer and holds her chin up to make an eye-contact with her. Evidently, her face glistens with freshly shed tears and does not stop streaming down her milky-white cheeks. She must have not known how horrible she is right now; her minimal make-up has completely smeared and her cheeks are too puffy to be invisible. 

Minseok groans disappointedly. “Why... are you crying, Seohyun-ah?” He pushes her against his body and wraps her in his arms. “Tell me what’s wrong with you...”

His guess is wrong when he thinks his hug would cool her down, but instead, it becomes wilder that ever. He brings himself to soothe his beloved sister by patting her back reassuringly and saying everything is going to be alright.

“Why did you fight with Lu Han-ah?” he asks. “Did he, by any chance, aggravate you?”

Despite he has to wait a few minute before Seohyun is completely free from tears, he deems it is worth-waiting.

“So tell me, what’s wrong with you?” he repeats his question. “Why did you fight with Lu Han-ah? I was surprised when I saw you two fight since it was literally the first time you’ve ever thrown him a fit.”

Seohyun wipes off the tears on her face and folds up her sleeves instead of returning a reply.

“Oh my God....” His jaw drops as he witnesses the major swollen bruises scatter over both of her arms. He grips her arms and in a flash, he feels like crying the hell out of him. “What had happened to your arms, Seohyun-ah...?”

“This is what I got from Lu Han oppa.” She would have had the urge to cry again if she has not pulled herself together. There is no use to mourn over things that have taken place. It’s too little, too late. If even she tries to hold it back, the repercussion would be higher than she would have expected.

“Did he beat you up?!” Minseok shakes her body extremely, wanting to know the answer. He would be utterly enraged if he knows his best friend did really harass his sister. “Did he pick on you or something? I want to know the answer so tell me exactly what’d happened!”

She has the options, though, and yet she chooses to beat around the bush. A strained smile is given instead as she chooses to bail out on him and walk down the neighbourhood alone.

Once the right time comes, she will enlighten everything – even she has always thought that telling someone her secret is like giving that person her freedom.

***

Kim Minseok does not expect his visit to call his sister for dinner would turn out like this – and yes, it never crosses his mind at all.

The blood that dribbles down neck to the floor petrifies him and the sight of his lifeless sister’s body hanging by a noose on the ceiling makes his heart stop beating for a mere second. He kneels down in surprise, shoulders trembling and he gasps for air.

It seems like he has predicted this would happen sooner or later. However, it literally happens the day after their deep conversation. Despite she has promised to not do silly things, she still did it in the end.

“Minseok oppa, do you believe in fate?”

“Fate? What do you mean by it?”

“You know... things like if we’re bound to meet our very own soul mate, we will, by hook or crook.”

“Nah, I don’t really believe in those things. Sometimes, it can be superstitious.”

“Then what about death? Why do you think people kill themselves?”

“Perhaps they did that because they feel sick of everything that happens to them and simply want to end their lives. They would feel relieved if their souls are buried deep within since they don’t have to think on how to face reality anymore.”

“But what if they find out that what they did is wrong and simply want to turn the tables?”

“What’s done cannot be undone, isn’t it?”

Minseok walks pass the hanging body and sits on the bed. For the last time he wants to feel his dearest sister’s flowery scent before he completely intends to let her go.

Ironically, he does not even flash his gaze at herself hanging at the top of the ceiling and instead, look for something else to grieve for her loss.

In a flash, the letter on her dressing table catches his attention. Inquisitively and almost immediately, he runs to get it. His guts tell him that it was written solely for him.

Well, that’s what he hopes and it turns out to be true.

Dear Minseok oppa,

I suppose when you’ve read this note, I’ve already disappeared from this world. I know that deep inside your heart, you must be feeling so furious for what I’ve done to myself. I’m sorry, oppa. It’s just... inevitable.

I’ve been enduring for these past few weeks and to say I wasn’t exasperated and depressed, that would be a huge lie. I just... can hold it back anymore, oppa. I guess if I were to disappear from this world, everything would come back to its right place and they would stop all their wrongdoings.

Please don’t tell Lu Han oppa off or even knock him off to death! Even if I can’t see what you would do later, I insist you to not do anything, oppa. Please just stay put, I beg you, oppa. He’s not at fault at all. It was all started with me.

Before I end this note, I want you to promise that you won’t tell omma and appa anything. When I say anything, I mean everything from the start until the very end. Keeping silent seems to be the only option.

And last thing I want to say to you is I love you. I have loved you the moment you held me so fondly when I was still a baby and will always love you although I’m not going to be by your side anymore.

Goodbye and please live a happy life, oppa.

Your dearest sister, Kim Seohyun.

Minseok has a neutral expression as he skims through the letter. No tears, no resentment or even, no depression. It is just neutral and static.

The moment he shreds the letter into tiny pieces, only to get rid of any possible evidence, his mother barges in the bedroom with a knock.

“Why haven’t you two come downstairs and-”

And within a second later, a strident scream of shock and terror ensues.

***

Minseok sits on the bench at the rooftop all by himself. For these past few days, he is inclined to detach being among the crowds. What he solely needs is privacy and serenity. Even though some students come to him to send their condolence for the loss of his sister, he only shrugs them off saying they do not have to worry anything because he is fine.

His life since his sister’s death has turned upside down. His parents are utterly clueless on how to cheer him again, bring the old Minseok back. He knows they also want to know why their daughter hung herself since he was the sole witness during the incident happened. There was no alibi found; the police had been searching for tangible evidences that can be used for further case but none was found. On the contrary, Minseok refuses to tell anything and simply seal his lips shut. Ultimately, the case has been put to an end.

On the subject of the loss of Seohyun, it has gone wild throughout the school. Even though the amounts of condolence are given a lot, the numbers of questions and rumours seem to exceed the first one. They suspect she committed suicide was because she was dumped but it was evident that Seohyun had no boyfriend.  Thus, the rumour falls apart and another rumour comes in.

Ironically, Minseok gives no damn to those rumours. Those mean nothing to be compared to the truth that no one knows except Seohyun and himself.

Lu Han.

Minseok stifles a laugh as the name unconsciously lies upon his mind as though he is in front of him at this moment. Speaking of the latter, he is bothered by the loss of Seohyun. She has been like his younger sister since he knows Minseok. The two of them are really close to each other and when people see them together, they would say that they really look like brother and sister.

However, the sibling-like relationship turned into a rigorous catastrophe when Seohyun chose to bail out on him, bringing in a lot of unanswered question to his side. He was distraught at the fact that Seohyun did not want to meet him again.

Amidst the great tension, the secret was finally revealed and the unanswered questions had been uncovered when she exposed everything to her brother right before she committed suicide at that fateful night.

“I cannot hold it back anymore, oppa,” she remarks, wailing so wildly in her brother’s arm. “It’s getting way too severe that I expected in the first place. They harassed and beat me up just because I am close to Lu Han oppa. They hate me. They hate seeing me stick so close to Lu Han oppa!”

“Just stay on for a little while more, Seohyun-ah.” He caresses her back reassuringly. “Everything will turn to normal if you do that. They’d stop everything they have done to you once they are tired.”

“I can’t, oppa.... I just can’t...” she sobs. “I just can’t... I cannot simply stay put and let them continue doing it, oppa... They even threatened to kill me if I still choose to be by Lu Han oppa’s side. That’s why I pushed him away and started to keep a distance from him. Even Lu Han oppa were to hate me for my doing, I don’t care! I just don’t want to see him hurt because of me...”

“Then, do you want me to warn them to put everything back to its place?”

“N-no!” Seohyun is caught off guard, aggressively parts the soothing embrace. “Oppa, promise me you won’t get back at them for what they’ve done to me!”

“But, that’s the only way to-”

“I said don’t, oppa!” she snaps, tears have stopped and her pairs of eyes filled with rage. “Just promise me you won’t do anything and also, don’t tell Lu Han oppa about this. I’m afraid he’d go berserk once he knows...”

He lets out a sigh. Although he wants to do something, he has to refrain himself. “Fine... I promise you that I won’t get back at them and even Lu Han-ah.”

“That’s good.” She smiles in relief. “Lu Han oppa is not at fault at all. He knows nothing.”

“However, you have to promise me as well in return.”

“What promise?”

“Promise me you won’t do silly things that can harm yourself.”

Silence ensues later. Seohyun rolls her eyes, seemingly deep in thoughts.

“Seohyun-ah? Are you listening to me?”

“Alright then. I’ll promise you...”

“Hello,” a manly, husky voice echoes in his eardrums and Minseok looks up to the owner of the voice. “May I sit here?”

“Oh,” only flows out of his mouth. “Well, I guess you may.”

He sinks into the seat beside him upon his approval. As the hush follows, Minseok has the urge to stare at him meticulously from head to toe in curiosity. Somehow, his guts tell him that he has seen him beforehand.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He turns to him and a smile curls up at the corner of his lips. “Go ahead.”

“Aren’t you the-”

“Ssshh.” He places his index finger on his lips, indicating him to not complete the sentence. “Yes I am and would have liked you to stay silent.”

“Alright then,” he gives in, although he is clueless why he does not want to reveal his apparent identity.

“Are you still in mourning mode?”

“You know too?”

“Well, who wouldn’t know since it spreads like wildfire.” He cackles. “So back to my question, how are you doing now? Still grieving?”

Minseok shrugs. “I don’t know how to put into words but to say I still am not getting over it, I’d be lying. Sometimes, her bright vision comes across my head subconsciously and makes me miss her even more...”

“You know, Minseok-ssi?” He rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you get back at those people who have made your sister life’s suffer so that your sister’s soul would live in peace?”

His question catches him off guard. “H-how did you know about my sister was being bullied?”

“How could you say that when you already know what my job is,” the latter remarks, voice remains natural despite the fact that Minseok is evidently ridiculing him. “Every student’s information is at the tip of my fingers.”

His bold statement silences him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”<