Twelfth Voice

Kyungsoo drops the kitchen knife down the floor and eyes his wounded arms with a pair of smiling eyes. Instead of groaning and showing a painful expression, he has no idea why he would be smiling so earnestly at this very moment. On top of that, he takes the blood which is making a large, dark pool on the floor for granted.

Self-harm. Yes, that is what he’s done to himself.

He does not care going to school with these injured arms. In fact, he would gladly accept if the other students look at him in horror. It’s not the very first time, though.

There is no meaning in his life anymore. It is now filled with darkness and weakness. Well, it is not now. It has begun since his childhood. However, he grows up without a sigh or a complaint. He accepts the ill fate God has given him.

He works his off to please Yifan and his friends to cover up what his father has done to him. His best friend, Kim Jongin, has driven away from his life due to a twisted misconception and now, his student slash his favourite brother, Lu Han withdraws from him yet he does not know what his mistake is.

And speaking of his problematic life, it would not be complete without the presence of his abusive father. However, he could now sigh in relief because he has disappeared – as if gone with the wind.

In spite of the bliss, he’s actually scared. He’s petrified if his neighbours or anyone else happen to know about the death of his father and to make it worse, he was the one who killed him.

Of course, there are a few people who drop by the house asking about his father but he says nothing and sometimes, he would shake his head and state that the elder hasn’t come home for days.

Halting the thought, Kyungsoo flashes a gaze the clock momentarily. It’s already 3 o’clock and it means he’s been in his school uniform for two hours. How fast time flies.

As he intends to take a step to the bathroom, his father’s deceased vision stumbles upon his mind.

It has been a few days since his last visit. The elder must have been missing him so badly right now. He is sort of busy so he does not get to pay him a visit.

He trudges out of his room and goes downstairs as it leads him to his late father’s room. However, before he could step further, a knock at the door appears and he automatically halts his footsteps.

A rather boisterous knock comes again and he’s become even more perplexed.

“Who would come at this hour?” he mutters under his agitated breath and without hesitation, walks up to the entrance.

And the door is opened and he is left thunderstruck after eyeing the three unexpected persons standing in front of the door.

***

“Kyungsoo...?” Lu Han reiterates. “You’re not answering my question.”

He is snapped back to reality. Somehow, the bits of his past moments come across his mind and practically ignores the elder’s question.

“Why there are a lot of massive cuts on your arms?” Lu Han takes a step towards him but the latter anxiously moves backward.

“I’m curious about it, too,” Yoona pitches in, momentarily looking at him and the injured younger. Jongin hurts his head as he is slammed to the door by Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo is now aware of his exposed arms and hurriedly places it behind his back. “Oh, I was in the kitchen just now and accidentally cut my arms,” he blurts out with inconsistent voice.

Lu Han would have loved to debate his nonsensical excuse but he does not. How would one inadvertently cut his or her hand to that extent? There is quite a lot of bleeding marks scatter over his arms and to say it’s an unintended action, it would be a huge lie. He would not buy his excuse.

“Oh, I see,” Lu Han replies airily, “anyway, may I see your father? Is he at home?”

“He’s not,” Kyungsoo answers almost immediately.

“Are you serious?” Lu Han frowns and later lets out a laugh. “His shoes seem to be outside so there’s no way he’s not at home.”

“Oh... he wears his other shoes when he went out, I suppose...”

He clicks his tongue and glances over at Yoona to see her reaction. When she nods significantly as if giving him a speck of idea, Lu Han winks his eyes and focuses back to the elder.

“Just cut to the chase, Kyungsoo,” Lu Han rasps, eyes intensely flash at his direction. “Where’d you put your father’s dead body?”

Kyungsoo has his eyes wide open. The elder statement makes as though his body shrinks all of a sudden. A shiver dashes down his spine. “W-what are y-you talking a-about, h-hyung? My father’s dead? Are you out of your mind?”

“Crap! How did Lu Han hyung know?”

“I don’t remember exactly telling anyone about this!”

“I’m so doomed now!”

“Hyung! What do you mean by Kyungsoo’s father is dead?” Jongin, despite the agony in his head, butts in inquisitively. The fact that Mr. Do has unexpectedly passed away makes him wonderstruck.

“Don’t lie, Kyungsoo. I know your father’s dead and tell me where’d you hide him.”

“I’m telling you the truth, hyung. My father’s out. He is not dead like you said.” Somehow, the faith in his voice seems to have faltered and substituted by great anxiety.

“, , ”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

Lu Han sneers triumphantly. The restless inner thoughts of his amuse him to bits. 

“Kyungsoo, I’m asking you again.” Lu Han could not wait any longer. “Tell me where did you put your father’s dead body or else, I’ll do something that you’d regret for the rest of your life.”

“! If I could move the dead body from his room to another place right now, I wouldn’t have to be in this state, for God’s sake!”

Checkmate.

Lu Han sprints to look for his father’s room at once even though he still does not know where the room is located.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, could not think what he should do right now. He’s completely doomed. Lu Han is already in the midst of searching for the dead body and it seems like he is going to be caught red-handed at this very moment.

Amidst the agitation to be getting arrested, Kyungsoo finds himself holding the flower vase on the coffee table and runs to find the elder. He has to stop him from an attempt to uncover his father’s dead body at all costs.

“Han! Watch out behind you!”

Lu Han catches Yoona’s ear-splitting voice and before he could spin around completely, splashes of bloods already spit on his face.

***

“Oh, you’re awake?”

Kyungsoo’s eyelids shoot up at the manly voice. With all his might, he feebly glances around. “L-Lu Han hyung?” A frown naturally grows upon his forehead.

The elder simply lets out an amused laugh, does not really mind about Kyungsoo’s sudden agitation. He later helps Kyungsoo to get up from lying. “Don’t move too aggressively, Kyungsoo. You’re still injured.” His attention fixes at the condition of the younger’s arms and he sighs inwardly. He does not even know that Kyungsoo was harming himself by slicing his arms. He was too stupid to realize it when he reached his home.

Kyungsoo looks at his thickly bandaged arms after roaming through the ward room. He knows that he is hospitalized. Beforehand, he did not feel hurt but now, the pain is too agonizing that he could not help but groan profusely.

“Why did you injure yourself, huh?” he inquires.

Kyungsoo is at loss of words. Only a head shake is not enough to redeem himself.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to share with me,” Lu Han grunts for the umpteenth time.

He nods weakly and is suddenly happened to remember about what has happened today. “H-hyung! What about Jongin? Is he okay?” When Lu Han was searching for his father’s dead body, Kyungsoo attempted to knock the elder out but suddenly, everything did not go according to his plan. Jongin unexpectedly got in his way and dodged Lu Han aside. As a result, Jongin was the one who got slammed again by the big flower vase.

Lu Han squirms at the mention of the younger’s name. On the spur of the moment, a pang of guilt stabs his heart. He is sorry for what had happened towards Jongin. The sight of Jongin tumbling down the floor with bloods squeezes out of his head makes him want to kill himself. It was the second time, though. Despite his head was still hurt due to getting slammed to the door, he still had the urge to help him.

And even though Jongin did not mind of his reckless act to save him, Lu Han continuously threw him bunch of apology. Nevertheless, he knows it was not enough to repay the younger’s kindness.

“Hyung?”

Lu Han drives back to reality, facing the dumbfounded younger with a strained smile. “Jongin’s okay. Don’t worry about him, okay?” He caresses his back reassuringly. “He’s got minor concussion but was already being treated by the doctor.”

“So where is he now?” The great edginess in his voice does not waver.

“He’s just gone home,” he says, “with his parents.”

“Oh,” only escapes from his lips. “That makes me relieved.”

“Kyungsoo, don’t you want to know about your father?”

His face goes pale all of a sudden. He presses his lips together into a thin line as he clenches his fist tightly. All of a sudden, a surge of tears well up in his eyes, intending to roll down his cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Lu Han flashed him a worried look. He knows Kyungsoo must have wanted to remove everything about the memory of his father but he is bound to swallow the painful reality.

“Hyung....” Droplet of tears eventually trickle down his cheeks, expressing what he feels at the moment. “I-I didn’t k-know what happened to me. I... didn’t intend to kill my father in the first place. I-it w-was... i-it was... he was trying to-”

“Enough, Kyungsoo.” Lu Han pats his intense back again, much more gently and reassuringly this time. “I know it. You didn’t intend to kill him. You did that for the sake of self-defence.” At first, he might have still deemed Kyungsoo’s act to kill his own flesh and blood was inappropriate but he has realized that he is absolutely wrong. Kyungsoo merely wants to protect himself from his father’s attack.

The latter is not completely convinced by his words. He’s still afraid of the implication that awaits him. “B-but what if those police officers don’t believe me and want me to rot in jail?”

“You’re still a minor so how can you be jailed?” He chuckles.

“Really... hyung?”

Lu Han nods. “So when the police come tomorrow morning for questioning, you don’t have to be scared. You only have to question what they want to ask.”

“Alright, then.” He sighs out of relief. If he has known earlier that he would not be given penalty for killing his father, he would have lodged a police report at once and have not kept the dead body hidden.

“By the way hyung... what about my father? Have they found the body?”

“Yes, they have.” Lu Han was the one who called the police and found the dead body had been rotting in his room for a week. “And for your information, your house has been congested for further inspection.”

Kyungsoo feels relieved. “I’m glad that everything has settled down now. I don’t have to live in fear anymore.”

Before Lu Han could reply, Yoona knocks the door and trudges in the ward room.

“Hello, Kyungsoo,” she greets softly, “how are you doing?”

“Getting better,” he replies with a smile. “Where did you go just now, noona?”

“I went to send Jongin and his parents off to their car,” she says, “and by the way, the doctor said you can be discharged the day after tomorrow and will be given a week school leave.”

“I see...” Kyungsoo smiles again.

Lu Han butts in, “When you’ve been discharged, you can live with me, Kyungsoo. I’m sort of bored living alone so if you live along, I wouldn’t be lonely anymore.”

“Really, hyung?” His eyes sparkle in excitement when Lu Han soon nods in approval. “I’d be happy to accept it then!”

He lets out a grin and glances over Yoona furtively – a glance that only he can grasp it.

***

“So you mean, Kyungsoo’s living with you now?” Krystal throws him a question out of curiosity.

“Yeah, since two days ago,” he replies, nodding at once. He feels utterly happy that he is not lonely anymore since Kyungsoo comes into the picture. Prior to living alone for ten years, he would always eat with nobody, walk to school alone and no conversation at all.

“So how’s he?” she asks again. “I mean, his condition. I heard he harmed himself the day you came over to his house. Is it true?”