Youngjae froze at his spot when he realized that Daehyun was in front of him, looking at him without blinking. Yesterday’s incident suddenly flashed in his mind and he just wished he could instantly disappear from the hotel. He did not want to meet Daehyun… not now. He was not ready to hear anything from the latter. He was heartbroken and the enormous pain inside him was madly hurting him. Youngjae decided to march to the elevator since he was going to take a morning walk to calm himself down.

            “J-Jae…” Daehyun stuttered but Youngjae pretended as if he did not hear his boyfriend, or… should he address Daehyun as his ex now? Youngjae stood at appropriate distance and waited for the elevator door to open, not even sparing a single glance at Daehyun.

            “Youngjae-ah…” Daehyun called again, and this time he walked to stand next to Youngjae and gently grabbed a hold of the latter’s hand. Youngjae turned his head only to be greeted with Daehyun’s worried face.

            “Oh, it’s you, Jung Daehyun-ssi. Good morning.” Youngjae greeted sarcastically and pulled his hand from Daehyun’s grasp. He turned to stare at the elevator door and silently pleaded that the elevator would reach his floor as soon as possible.

            “Stop it, Jae.”

            “Pardon me? Do I know you that close for you to comfortably call me Jae?” Youngjae glared at Daehyun who was dumbfounded. The latter sighed heavily as he massaged his temple, not believing he was now receiving the cold treatment from his boyfriend. He realized it was his fault that this cold treatment thing happened, but he had no choice. Karma…

            “Jae, I—”

            DING!

            Youngjae immediately stepped inside of the elevator and thanked God that the elevator was occupied with other residents. Daehyun entered the elevator as well and stood rather silently beside Youngjae who did not even look at him. Once they reached the ground floor, Youngjae was the first one to go out of the elevator. He seemed to quicken his steps as he could feel Daehyun was following him.

            When Youngjae was already outside of the hotel, his wrist was forcefully being pulled by someone. He gasped and struggled to break free but he just could not when the grip was quite tight that it was kind of hurting him. Dae… no! He was then dragged to a secluded area around the hotel’s lawn. His wrist was finally released and he decided to walk away from Daehyun but the latter had enough. He once again, pulled Youngjae’s wrist and pushed him back to the wall. He then trapped the latter with placing both of his hands on Youngjae’s side and against the wall.

            “W-What do you think you’re doing, Daehyun-ssi?”

            “Jae, we need to talk.”

            “There’s nothing to be talked about. We’re over. You’re married and you didn’t even let me know. You’re such a cruel person ever.” Tears started to slowly slide down from Youngjae’s eyes. He casted his gaze downward as he could no longer stare into Daehyun’s round orbs.

            “No, please Jae. Listen to me first.” Daehyun whispered as he gently wiped the tears away from Youngjae’s delicate cheeks. The latter shook his head as more tears freely flowed down.

            “No, I don’t wan—” Youngjae could not finish his words when a pair of warm lips that he had been missing for so long was pressed against his. He pushed Daehyun but the latter grabbed both of his wrists and continued kissing him. Youngjae found himself slowly melted in the kiss. He missed the kisses. He missed this moment. He missed the owner of those plump lips. Yes, he missed Jung Daehyun too much that it hurt him when Daehyun left him.

            They broke the kiss after a while and leaned on each other’s forehead, gasping for air. Daehyun brought Youngjae into his embrace when he felt the latter calmed down a bit. Youngjae weakly gripped Daehyun’s back shirt and rested his head on the latter’s shoulder.

            “I miss you, Jae. I’ve been missing you like crazy.” Daehyun closed his eyes as he inhaled Youngjae’s sweet scent.

            “You’re lying.”

            “I’m not, Jae.” And there was a deafening silence for moments before someone broke it.

            “Why, Dae?” A faint voice was heard. It was Youngjae. Daehyun let out a sigh as he tightened the embrace.

            “I have no choice, Jae.”

FLASHBACK

Four months ago…

            Daehyun closed his apartment door and heaved a sigh. As requested by Yongguk, Youngjae had to leave the house for a family meeting to be held. He entered Youngjae’s old room whereby his mother was resting now. Yongguk sat himself comfortably on a chair at the study table while Luhan was sitting at the edge of the single bed, assisting Himchan who was drinking a glass of water. Daehyun hung his head low as his eyes met Yongguk’s sharp stares.

            “Sit.”

            Daehyun flinched a bit when he heard Yongguk’s low baritone voice broke the deafening silence in the room. He knew he was at fault and hearing the infrequently used low tone of his father, he knew he had done something unacceptable. They seldom heard Yongguk used this tone as he was the most composed person in the house who always smiled his gummy smile. By hearing it out today, they knew Yongguk was at the edge of his limits.

            “Just what do you think you’re doing, Jung Daehyun?” Yongguk’s serious tone made Daehyun to nervously swallow his saliva down his dry throat. He did not have the courage to answer Yongguk, so he remained silence.

            “I’m asking you, Daehyun.” Yongguk pressured his eldest son. He could not help but feel disappointed in Daehyun. He could not believe his son did something beyond his expectation. He thought he had raised his sons well, but seemed like he had failed to do so. Call him conservative or whatever you wanted to, he really disliked the idea of having before a legal marriage. Same goes to Himchan as they still held onto their old tradition.

            Luhan gave his brother a sympathetic look. He could not do anything to back his hyung up. Afterall, Daehyun was the one who did the wrong thing and he just could not understand why his older brother did not even tell them about him having a boyfriend here. If Daehyun had told them earlier about their relationship, probably things would be the other way round. Yongguk and Himchan were the most understanding parents that Luhan knew though they both seemed to put many restrictions on them.

            “I-I’m sorry, Appa.” Daehyun could only utter an apology.

            “Daehyun-ah…” It was Himchan this time. Hearing his name being called softly by his mother, Daehyun looked up only to be met with Himchan’s teary eyes. O-Omma…

            “Is…Is he the reason why you’re not going back to Korea?” Himchan fixed his gaze on Daehyun’s guilty face and when he heard nothing from his eldest son, he could not help but feel hurt with Daehyun’s behavior. How could his son abandon his own family for his boyfriend that he just knew in Paris? How could his eldest son thought of anyone else before his own family? How could he simply forget his loving mother who patiently waiting for his comeback in Korea? Did Daehyun not know that he was missing his son every single day?

            “Daehyunnie forgets his omma already.” Himchan said, more to a statement. He was now crying his eyes out and without waiting any longer he sprinted down the bed and ran out of the room. Everyone was shocked and immediately be on their feet. A sound of door opened was heard and they knew Himchan had left the house.

            “Omma…”

            “Hannie, after your Omma, palli.” Yongguk ordered and the next second, Luhan was out of the room as he frantically grabbed the doorknob and stepped outside of the house to find his heartbroken mother. Daehyun wanted to follow his brother because he was feeling guilty and worried about his mother, but as he was about to take his leave, Yongguk’s voice stopped him from doing so.

            “Daehyun, you stay here. I need to talk to you.” And the said person complied as he sat himself on the bed, eyes avoiding Yongguk’s.

            “Are you happy now, son?” Yongguk started and Daehyun was seen to bite his bottom lips. The father let out a sigh before he sat himself on the ious chair and looked over his eldest son.

            “Daehyun… if that’s the actual reason why you’re not going back to Korea, then I have to say I’m totally disappointed in you.”

            “A-Appa…” Daehyun stuttered but immediately being cut off by Yongguk.

            “How long have you been in a relationship with that boy?”

            “We’ve been for two years now. And his name is Youngjae, Appa.” Yongguk nodded his head indicating that he acknowledged the new information. He let out another sigh before he spoke.

             “Look, son. I’m not here to force you to follow all of my words, but I want you to understand and make up your mind.” Daehyun looked up at his father. Confusion was written all over his face.

            “If you love us, especially your Omma, please leave Youngjae and go back to Korea with us.”

            “W-What?” Daehyun abruptly stood up. He could not simply leave Youngjae, he loved the latter so much.

            “You heard me.” Yongguk tried to sound stern. He could not help but silently feel hurt seeing his son felt hurt too. He did not have the heart to break Daehyun’s heart, his own biological son’s heart, but he had no choice and had to use his power as the father and the leader of Jung family.

            “But, Appa… I love him. I love him so much.” Daehyun tried to explain but he stopped when he saw Yongguk’s hurtful face.

            “How about us, Daehyun? Don’t you love us, your family?” Yongguk retorted, sad tone laced his every single word. His eyes showed disappointment and sorrow which made Daehyun to look away. He wanted to speak for himself but Yongguk was fast to cut his words off.

            “Appa, how could you…”

            “And how could you, Daehyun? How could you think of him when you should be thinking about us, about your Omma? Yes, you love this Youngjae guy, I acknowledge that. It does not matter if you’ll hate me after this for saying this to you, but think of your Omma, Daehyun. He’s been missing you like every day and how could you… you chose to stay here with him… and… made Omma waits for you to come home.” Daehyun was surprised to see Yongguk had tears in his eyes. Realization hit him hard as he could not believe he had been such a disappointment to his parents. Oh God, what have I done?

            “A-Appa…”

            “Son, I know you’re hurting, so am I. Do you think I like to see my family gets hurt? I could tolerate this if you’ve told me about Youngjae earlier, but not now. Not when you choose him over us, and not because of staying here for working experience you told us. I’m sorry but I can’t accept him in our family. He changed you… and part of it is my fault. I-I’ve failed to raise you well.” In the end, Yongguk blamed himself for he thought he had been a bad father for his own sons. A single tear slowly slid down from Yongguk’s eyes and Daehyun could not feel any worst for seeing this sight. His father freaking cried… just because of him and to top that, his father even blamed himself. Daehyun did not realize he was crying too.

            “You know, Daehyun-ah… Omma’s been missing you so much that he would make cheesecake every week thinking that you’d be sitting at the kitchen counter asking for more cheesecake when actually there was only me and Luhan. We would try to eat the cake until the last piece as we did not want to see your Omma’s sad face.” More tears made its appearance on Daehyun’s cheeks. He felt bad for his mother. Jeongmal mianhaeyo, Omma…

            “And here… you’re saying you love Youngjae and can’t leave him. Don’t you love Omma? Do you have the heart to leave us… your Omma? True, love is happiness but it’s a pain too, son. It’s okay if you choose to be with Youngjae instead of with us. I won’t force you because I don’t want to hurt you, son. I’ve been a bad Appa to you, could not raise you well and here, I’m giving you chance to make up your mind.” Yongguk stood up and walked toward Daehyun who was sobbing in his palms. He put his hand on his son’s shoulder and squeezed it slightly. Tears flowed down on Yongguk’s cheeks as he knew his next words would break both of their hearts but he had too.

            “Jung Daehyun, if you wanted to be with Youngjae… please forget anyone by the name of Jung Yongguk, Jung Himchan and Jung Luhan. If you have the heart to abandon us, your family, I’d try the same method too though it hurt so much for not able to acknowledge you as my son.” With that, Yongguk walked out of the house, leaving Daehyun to fall on the floor, crying hard like there’s no tomorrow.

            It was hard for Daehyun to go through this situation alone. If he wanted to be selfish, he would definitely choose both, his family and Youngjae. But he remembered his father did not accept Youngjae, so would his mother. Yongguk’s deep words were not threatening, but it was more toward giving options and Daehyun could not help but think harder. He loved Youngjae, but he loved his mother too.

            Since he was small, he was closer to Himchan instead of Yongguk as his father would always came home late for managing his expanding business. He got too attached to his mother that he was called Omma’s boy. When Luhan was born, Yongguk spent more time at home as his business was steadily developing and he had his people to manage his company. As Daehyun would not let go of his mother, Yongguk was the one who took care of Luhan. It was fair enough when Daehyun was Omma’s boy while Luhan was Appa’s boy. How could he break his mother’s heart then? That would be the last thing he would do in his life. No, scratch that… would NEVER do.

            Daehyun knew his decision was going to hurt him, but he had no choice when his mother was his priority. He decided to go back to Korea and Yongguk thanked him for not breaking Himchan’s heart. Yongguk knew he was harsh on his son, but he could do nothing when everything had already been planned. He knew his son was hurting, but he believed it would not last long for he knew Himchan’s prediction would always be right. Mother’s instinct…

            The next morning, they packed their things and went straight to the airport to catch the earliest flight to Korea. Daehyun secretly texted Youngjae – the latter spent the night at one of their friends’ house in order to give the family some privacy – saying he would go back to Korea and would contact him once they reached the Seoul land. Daehyun knew he had disobeyed his father for contacting Youngjae, but he just could not simply let Youngjae go just like that.

            Daehyun only realized that he lost his phone when he reached his home. He searched for it like mad, even his parents and his brother helped him to find it but to no avail. Daehyun thought perhaps he accidentally dropped it when he went to the toilet in the airport in Paris. His only device to stay in contact with Youngjae was gone and he could not sleep the whole night thinking about Youngjae, tears silently flowed down from his eyes as he was missing his boyfriend.

            He was not that fond with any social media like Facebook or Twitter, that was why he could not remember his own password for those accounts he made. Previously he did not have one but Luhan asked him to make an account, so he followed his brother but was not an active user. Daehyun knocked his head a few times with his laptop for he had missed the only way to communicate with Youngjae.

            Three days later, his parents brought him to the Moon’s house and he was greatly welcomed by them. He was surprised to see his childhood friend who changed a lot for the past three years. They had a very long conversation while eating their lunch. Daehyun excused himself for he wanted to take some fresh air outside and was accompanied by Jongup who brought him his favorite cake, cheesecake. He then remembered their promise to welcome him back in Korea with cheesecake that Jongup made and he unconsciously blurted out what was on his mind.

            “You know what, Moon Jongup? I’ll be the happiest husband if I were to have a wife who knows how to make cheesecake, just like you.” Jongup blushed upon hearing Daehyun’s words and as he was about to reply the older, his mother and Daehyun’s mother called them inside. They looked at each other before they made their way to the living room.

            The atmosphere was different in the living room. It was suddenly filled with an awkward silence and they could not help but wonder why. They sat themselves in the available space on the imported sofa and faced their parents who kept on glancing each other. Yifan took the initiative to break the silence.

            “Ehem… actually, there’s something we want to discuss with you guys.”

            “What is it, Baba? You sound so serious that it scared me.” Jongup replied, eyes not leaving his father’s face. The parents laughed before Yongguk continued.

            “Well, it is indeed a serious matter, so we have to be serious.”

            “Okay, this is scary. What do you want to discuss about?” Daehyun was the one who spoke this time.

            “Daehyun-ah, we’ve talked and even have a deep conversation… Me and your Appa have asked Uncle Yifan for Jongup’s hand in marriage.” Himchan said, his hand intertwined with Yongguk as he nervously waited for Daehyun’s reaction.

            “Wait, what?” Daehyun leaned forward while Jongup was now blinking his eyes, trying to grasp the situation.

            “Son, we want you and Jongup to get married.”

            “WHAT?!” A loud shriek was heard. It was Daehyun’s and Jongup’s voice. Jongup straightened his back and tightly held onto the armrest while Daehyun abruptly stood up, eyes staring at his parents’ faces.

            “You’ve got to be kidding me, Omma.”

            “No, Daehyunnie. We really want you to get married with Jongup.” Daehyun found himself massaging his temple the next second. This is absurd! What are they thinking, seriously?!

            “But… Himchan Adjumma, why suddenly?”  Though he was flustered with this sudden announcement, he could not help but feel curious.

            “Uppie, Himchan Adjumma thinks you’d be the best wife for Daehyun. You guys know each other since you’re small and I think Daehyun would take a good care of you too.” Zitao finally spoke.

            “I’m not going to marry Jongup.” Daehyun firmly stated with a strained voice, making everyone in the room looked at him, wide-eyed.         

            “D-Daehyu—” Himchan could not finish his words when Daehyun cut him off.

            “NO WAY!” Daehyun accidentally cried, emphasizing his unwillingness to marry his best friend.

            “Jung Daehyun…”  Yongguk’s deep and stern voice suddenly filled the room. Daehyun instantly realized what he had done and half-heartedly apologized to everyone. He slumped himself on the sofa, not sparing a single glance at Jongup who was looking at him apologetically.

            “Why don’t you want to get married with Jongup?” Yifan asked. He thought Daehyun would be okay with this arranged marriage plan, but everything was upside down and he could not stop sending glances with his wife, Zitao.

            Daehyun looked at Yongguk and was met with a disappointed look. He then averted his gaze to his mother and felt his heart was burdened when he saw Himchan’s sad face. He instantly felt guilty for making his parents felt hurt once again.

            “B-Because I… I thought… Jongup was t-too young to carry the w-wife title. He’s still studying and I don’t want him to feel burden with his c-commitment toward me. He should focus more on his studies.”  Daehyun lied.

            “Auw… Daehyunnie was being considerate.” Zitao squealed, not knowing the real situation. Jongup could not help but feel happy to the fact that Daehyun at least thought about him.

            “If that’s the case, why don’t we ask Jongup himself?” Yifan said and all eyes were now on Jongup’s blank face.  

            “Jonguppie, are you okay if you’ve to get married with Daehyunnie?” Zitao asked and the said person looked at Daehyun’s unreadable face. His mind suddenly remembered what Daehyun said to him just now. Hyung… you said you’d be happy if you have a wife who can make cheesecake, right? A faint blush appeared on his soft cheeks before he answered.

            “I’m okay with it, Mama…as long as Mama and Baba agree to this.” Jongup replied and everyone except Daehyun sighed in relief. Daehyun stared at nothing as he did not know what to do anymore. He wanted to object this marriage thing, but he did not want to let his parents feel disappointed in him either.

            The Jungs went home after they discussed about the marriage with the Moons and decided to do it in four months times. Daehyun was quiet all the time while Jongup just followed what the elders said. When they reached home, Daehyun dragged himself to his room, not before he bumped into Luhan in his midway. Luhan frowned and greeted his parents.

            “Welcome home, Appa, Omma. By the way, what’s wrong with Dae hyung?”

            “Uh, he’s probably still surprised that he’s going to marry Jonguppie four months from now.”

            “WHAT?!”

END OF FLASHBACK

            Jongup groggily fluttered his heavy eyes opened. The ray of bright morning sunlight that entered the room through the window was blinding his vision and he had to close them back. His headache was indescribably painful and he felt like his head was going to explode from the throbbing pain he was having. He weakly brought his hand to massage his temple and the next thing he knew, his hand made contact with a small towel on his forehead. Peeking from his half-opened eyes, he was greeted with a white towel that was almost dry.

            It took a while for Jongup to remember what exactly happened to him. He and Daehyun stayed all night for their night fishing activity. Though his husband told him to stay inside the cabin, he stubbornly disobeyed which caused him to fall sick. He wanted to accompany his husband, not wanting the latter to feel alone. They had fun though they had a so-called heart-to-heart session before that. Jongup groaned as he felt his inside was burning.

            He did not know what to describe his feelings right now. Jongup was sweating, face flushed in red but at the same time, he was feeling cold on the inside. He curled himself into a ball and pulled the thick duvet that was draped over him closer as if wanting it to dissolve in him. His attempt was such a fail as his lips could not stop from quivering.

            “D-Dae…hyun… h-hyung…” He hardly called the said person. He barely remembered his husband told him that he wanted to go out to find a doctor for him and thought that maybe Daehyun was back now. He struggled to call Daehyun again, but his throat was dry and sore that it was kind of frustrating when his voice would not come out properly. Sensing that the older was not in the room yet, Jongup decided to get up from the bed.

            He shook his head as his vision was blurry and once he was okay, he pulled the thick duvet away, and be on his feet. An unpleasant feeling was suddenly felt in the back of his throat and stomach, and the next second, he found himself streaked for the bathroom with his hand clamped over his mouth, not before he stumbled for few times. He crouched over the toilet and was violently sick.

            After he felt nothing was coming out, he flushed the toilet and weakly pushed himself from the floor. He went to the sink to rinse his mouth, to get rid of the disgustingly bitter taste. People said when you were sick and threw up; you’d feel better after that. But not for Jongup for he was feeling the opposite. His headache was getting worst and his vision started to get blurry again. He turned the faucet off and decided to lie down on the bed again.

            Jongup supported himself by placing his hand against the wall as he slowly stepped out from the bathroom. His head started to spin around and he saw double images as he tried to focus on something. God… this throbbing pain in the head is killing me… He wobbly took his steps to the bed but unfortunately, his world suddenly turned pitch black and the next thing you knew, Jongup weakly collapsed on the carpeted floor, head hitting the ground hard. His small body lied on the floor, unmoved.

18th February 2014

1.30am

Tuesday

So.... who do you feel the most sorry for?

Daehyun? Jongup? Youngjae? Yongguk & HImchan? and.... Why? :)

By the way, this is the mini cruise that Daehyun used that is owned by Yongguk. :D

p/s: Credits to Google.