Min Ho fell face first onto his bed, hand phone tightly clutched in his hand, ‘Shin Hye-ah! Why do you do this to me?’ He muttered into the thick, firm mattress. He turned his head to face his phone again and stared at the sultry face staring back at him. Dressed in a tight, short shorts, was the busty, long-legged brunette, her trim, lean tummy for all to see. He felt stomach tighten a little, a typical reaction whenever Shin Hye was concerned. Beneath the picture read, ‘Huba huba! I’ve got to get myself something from Jambangee! I’ll allow you to come with!’

‘Aisssh!’ He threw the phone across his bed and flipped himself over to face the ceiling, ‘Il Woo deserves to be shot. To hell with friendship.’ He said aloud, ‘And every male on earth.’ He had seen every shot in Jambangee’s summer collection, multiple times, and so has 99% of the world’s male species.

This was the other thing about stardom, and dating another star…your girl was never solely yours, simply because you have to share her with everyone else. And perhaps it was extra hard for him because he didn’t like to share. He liked to keep what was his securely locked away, away from prying eyes, away from other hungry eyes.

Yes, yes, that’s a little hypocritical isn’t it? He knew that. He knew that it was unfair of him to impose such expectations on her when he was in the limelight just as much as she. Blame it on male primal instincts, or male chauvinism, whatever—point is, it gnawed at him, it always had.

Even as they were filming the drama, and when he heard the male crewmembers cooing over how delightful Shin Hye was, his jaws would clench reflexively every time, and so did his fists and stomach, and not in a good way. Even when she joked around with the stellar chaps like, Woo Bin and Jin Hyuk.

Min Ho had always been aware of his proneness to jealousy, and he was even more aware when it came to Shin Hye.

Admittedly when he had seen the images of her pressed up so closely to this Ahn Jae Hyun, he had felt himself losing his temper a little bit. It took a lot of internal coaching to remind himself that his anger was both unnecessary and unreasonable, and for a split second there, he also found himself wishing that Shin Hye was just an average, girl-next-door he met on the street.

Min Ho shut his eyes and tried to block out the overwhelming, redundant feelings welling up inside of him.

‘Trouble, Min Ho. It’s trouble.’ He chanted to himself.

For most days, he basked in the glow of their “Love”. Not over concerning himself with the negatives. But sometimes, every now and then, this gnawing irritation would burst forth and overtake his ability to reason.

He also had come to realize that it usually occurred when he had gone far too many days without being with her.

And gosh, he wanted her. He wanted all of her, and more.

Where was all this coming from, you ask? It was just one of those damned days.

‘I need a damned shower.’ He muttered to himself, ripping himself away from his bed and his phone.

~.~

‘Have you been enjoying yourself?’ Min Ho said into the phone as he laid back on his bed.

‘Yes, it’s better than my childhood dreams!’ Came Shin Hye’s reply, ‘New York is a buzzing city! It feels so great to be able to walk the streets without being stopped every few steps!’

This was the first time they had spoken on the phone since Shin Hye had left for New York. What with the time difference, and his hectic filming schedule, they never found the time to get each other over the phone.

‘I’m glad…but I’d have thought you’d feel like something was missing.’ Joked Min Ho

‘Like what, Oppa?’

‘I don’t know…perhaps like I’m not there with you?’

Shin Hye giggled, ‘You’re still as corny as ever! Isn’t the gir—’

‘Yah! Didn’t you say you missed me?’

When all he heard was Shin Hye giggling on the other end, he gave up expecting a response to that question, his mood a little damper than usual, ‘Aisssh! Don’t provoke me, child! I have a bone to pick with you!’

‘Mwo?’

‘Your Jambangee pictures! Yah! Didn’t I tell you not to wear those shorts ever again? And that Ahn Jae Hyun…does he want to die?’

‘Yah! Shouldn’t you make sure that your slate is clear before you start poking other people?’

‘Eh?’

‘I’m talking about your Line Romance! Was it love at first sight with the Bea Hayden Kuo?

Min Ho chuckled, trust Shin Hye to fight fire with fire, and he expected no less.

‘Arasso, arasso, 1-all!’

‘No, I believe its Shin Hye 2, Min Ho 1.’

‘Wae?’

‘You challenged me, I accepted the challenge, and I won the challenge, giving me two points!’

‘Yah! What kind of game logic is this? I’ve never heard of such a thing! Andwe! 1-all!’

‘You know…I do have a Bruno Magli shoot tomorrow, perhaps if I lifted my leg a lit—’

‘Yah! Yah! Yah! Arasso! Arasso! Shin Hye 2! Shin Hye 2!’

Oh lord he missed her. The minx who made him feel like the happiest lad in the whole world, the blimey vixen who…

‘Such an easy barter!’ Shin Hye cheered with triumph, ‘Anyway, how’s filming, Oppa? Has your body warmed up?’

Min Ho shut his eyes for just a bit. Sure, his body ached, but that wasn’t the problem. Instead, he was finding it a little hard to shed the Kim Tan persona, and embrace a more thug-like persona. His method was always to embrace the character totally and completely, and before, it was never really an issue. But for some reason, this time, he was finding it a lot harder to. As a result, he often found himself coming back home feeling more drained and unfulfilled than ever.

This role was a role of a lifetime and he didn’t want to stuff it up. He also knew that this was a wonderful career opportunity. So why couldn’t he get his head in the game completely?

‘Oppa? Are you still there?’ Shin Hye’s voice broke his train of thoughts, ‘Filming must really be that tiring huh? You’ve never fallen asleep in a phone call before. Don’t worry, we can stop here, you need your rest.’

‘Ani, ani, I was just thinking about your question…’ Although her words were calm and assuring, he detected a hint of disappointment in her tone. ‘I’m still here. I’m still here.’ But he sat up just in case, ‘Never too tired to talk to you. Filming talk isn’t interesting, tell me more about New York.’ He steered the conversation away from him, not wanting to discuss his current feelings of “actor-inadequacy”.

Whether she noticed it or not, she didn’t harbour on it, ‘I’m absolutely in love with Broadway and all the musicals! Even though I can’t always understand what’s being sung or said, the sights and the sounds is enough! The sets are elaborate and the choreographys are amazing!’

Min Ho smiled wistfully as he listened to Shin Hye rave on about the brilliance of New York.

A part of him felt a little jealous. Jealous that she was there, jealous that he wasn’t there…and perhaps a little hurt, or upset? Didn’t she want him there? Why was there no mention of how she wished he was there with her?

~.~

[A few days later]

‘Yoo In Na and Ji Hyun Woo have ended their two-year relationship’ The headline read.

Min Ho sighed. He’d always found them to be a really sweet and endearing couple, finding out that it hadn’t worked out saddened him immensely.

His eyes widened at the follow-up link, swiftly he clicked on it.

‘Kim Woo Bin and model Yoo Ji Ahn reported to have broken up.’

What is it with 2014? Min Ho thought to himself. Celebrities being found out…celebrities breaking up…IN ABUNDANCE! Although he had never seen Woo Bin with his girlfriend, Min Ho had heard Woo Bin mention her in passing a few times, and he had seemed really happy and in love. What happened?

He scrolled through the page, ‘…a few months ago…’ And he didn’t say anything! Aisssh!  That kid, such a good actor, I didn’t even notice a change! Min Ho made a mental note to give Woo Bin a call sometime during the week as his eyes caught sight of the next latest news.

He clicked on the bolded words.

Min Ho scanned the page frantically again, making sure that what he read wasn’t just a play words. He finally released his breath when it seemed like his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him.

‘Moon Geun Young and Kim Bum also revealed to have ended their relationship.’

‘What in the world?’ Min Ho muttered under his breath, accompanied with a quick, silent curse.

His mind began whirling. What? When? How? Why? Wasn’t my talk good enough? What did I miss out? Yah! Why didn’t that punk tell me? Aisssh!

Quickly he pulled out his mobile and pulled Kim Bum’s name out on his contact list. He placed the phone to his ear as he waited for Bum to pick up. I’m going to kill that idiot!

6-seconds later, Kim Bum answered, ‘Wae?’

‘Wae? Don’t act like you don’t know why I’m calling! Yah! You tapped out! I told you not to tap out! Why did you tap out? Which part of “tapping out isn’t an option” did you not get? Are you out of your mind? Why didn’t you tell me?’ Min Ho paused for a moment, catching himself. It was out of character for him to appear so invested in Kim Bum’s affairs. Sure, they were bros, and he cared for him, but never once did he react so violently to one of Kim Bum’s failed relationships. ‘Ah…sorry. The news just caught me by surprise.’  

Kim Bum offered a soft chuckle, perhaps out of pity or assurance, Min Ho wasn’t sure, ‘Happened a few days ago. We talked at length. It was a mutual decision…’ His voice trailed off, and the line fell into an awkward silence.

Min Ho cleared his throat to let him know he was still on the line.

‘…I just needed time to think…after it happened—’

‘You don’t have to explain yourself to me...I just forgot myself for a moment there—’

‘Yah! Let me talk!...I just needed time to think…I heard you that night, don’t mistake that…Moon and I did talk, initially we did make the decision to continue trying…but then we realized, we were just lying to ourselves. We had drifted apart, a little too far…and we knew things weren’t going to get any easier. We messed up.’

‘…Messes can be fixed.’

‘Ne. But, we knew deep down inside that…this “affection” we had for each other was mostly the idealization we had of each other when we first met…even if we continued, it wouldn’t be fair to one another.’

Min Ho was confused. He didn’t understand. What of the “Love” he spoke of that night? ‘Eh?’

‘Don’t worry, just know that it’s over, and it was mutual.’

‘Ok then, why di—?’

‘Didn’t I tell you? Look, I’m not senseless. After Min Young, I knew you were staving yourself off any kind of dating, but then this Shin Hye came along, and then you were suddenly asking me all sorts of relationship questions…Yah! You dummy! Finding hope in other people’s relationships isn’t the way to go!’

‘Mwo?’

‘You idiot, whether my relationship with Moon succeeds or not…it shouldn’t affect your confidence in your relationship with Shin Hye, ah!’

Min Ho fumbled around for words, but his mind was lost. What on earth? He had called Bum! He was supposed to be the one with the wise words…comforting words, or whatever words he needed. Where was this dude coming from?

‘Hyung, you seemed more upset that it ended than I was.’

‘…Yah!...Yah!’

Kim Bum snickered, ‘I’m hanging up!’

‘Yah! I’m supposed to—’

‘Bye!’

And the call ended

Aissssh! Won’t even let me get a word out! Never even got around to asking him how’s he coping. And how does he expect me to feel better with all these news? He glanced back at his laptop screen, staring at a smiling image of Bum and Moon. Each and every one of these break-up news talked about them falling apart, the drifting away, the busy schedules…how exactly does he expect me to feel? It didn’t matter whether it was 7-months or 2-years. So how could Kim Bum expect him not to be shaken? Then there’s the impending military enlistment…

In frustration, Min Ho slammed the laptop shut, pushing it out of his reach.

~.~
 

[Two days later]

‘Oppa…? Are you alright? You seem a little distant.’

‘Eh? Ah…Mianhae, I was just thinking about something…’

‘What of?’

‘Just failed relationships…and stuff…’

Shin Hye’s tummy flipped, as she chewed her lip nervously. His response had caught her off guard, ‘Are you upset about something?’

‘What? Ani, ani! No, I’m not upset about us!’ He didn’t realize that his absentminded reply could’ve been interpreted wrongly, ‘I was just thinking about Bum and Moon…and—’

‘Woo Bin and Ji Ahn?’

‘Eh? Ne. How did you know? Have you been reading the Korean news?’

‘Ani. Soo Jin told me about Bum and Moon Geun Yang-Unnie, and I knew about Woo Bin when it happened.’

‘Mwo?’ Min Ho’s ears perked up, ‘When it happened?’

‘Ah…Woo Bin and I bumped into each other in the SBS building a day after it happened…he looked a little down, so I asked him to have coffee with me.’

Min Ho grit his teeth a little. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It’s just two friends having coffee. A friend offering another friend her shoulder. How she found out doesn’t matter. Ask a question, any question. Ask. A. Question. “Oh…Was it mutal?’

‘Kind of…they sort of just drifted apart because his schedule was just so hectic at that point. They had an argument…and then they had a serious talk, and then decided to call it quits.’

‘I’m sorry to hear…’

‘He didn’t want any sympathy though. He said it was unfair of him to string her along, as he put work before her.’

Min Ho cleared his throat. His mind whirling with all these failed relationships information. What if Shin Hye and him came to this? What if one day, we just stop talking to each other? Stop loving? Stop caring? He was afraid. He couldn’t live in a world where talking to Shin Hye wasn’t an option, ‘Are they still on talking terms?’

Shin Hye was silent for awhile, trying to recall what Woo Bin had told her a month after their coffee meeting, ‘Although they agreed to…it seems they just couldn’t.’

That was what had happened to Min Young and himself. They had agreed to remain friends, chummy friends, but even if their schedules had allowed it, there was just too much water under the bridge. It’d be impossible to look at each other, to talk to each other without remembering the pain and the bitterness.

‘Are you upset about the news, Oppa?’ Shin Hye’s voice broke into his train of thoughts, ‘Don’t be…relationships come and go…’

Without thinking, Min Ho snapped, ‘How can you be so cool about it? Relationships come and go? So I’m guessing that’s what you think about Us? We’ll be nothing but dust in the wind soon.’

‘Mwo?’

‘Don’t you see? All of them, all of them were once Us! They had met through their work, spent so much time together, fell in love, tried to work through the troubles of celebrity dating, and then…—’

‘That’s unfair, Oppa.’

‘Isn’t it true? How am I being unfair?’

‘I don’t deny that!’ How did a light-hearted conversation between two individuals who’re drawn apart by distance, who missed each other, become so…intense? ‘Look…when we first got together, in the van…we knew that—’

‘In the van, we only got so far as to deciding to overcome the troubles of people finding out.’ Min Ho sighed, ‘I completely missed out on the aspect of falling apart…’

‘So what are you trying to say, Oppa? Just because when we decided to get together, we didn’t “agree” to overcome the issues of being apart, you have every reason to doubt our entire relationship now?’ Shin Hye shook her head, ‘No…no…it’s unfair because you’re placing another couples failures on Us! Using another couple’s success or their failures to foreshadow our future is unfair. You once said to me, “We can’t predict the future. Living constantly in fear of the future isn’t living life to the fullest. We only have the present. And the present is looking pretty darn fine, if you ask me.” Do you remember? If we don’t succeed, it’s because we couldn’t make it work. It’s not because some other couple failed, and so will we. Not because the celebrity dating formula has determined the results of our relationship. No.’ Shin Hye could feel tears welling up in her eyes and she quickly blinked them back, focusing on keeping her voice steady, ‘You’re being unfair to Us. You’re not looking at the big picture. Look at the big picture, Oppa.’

Min Ho was at a loss for words, in his self-pity, self-loathing, and worry, he had lost track of his goal, making sure they didn’t fail. But despite hearing the sense in her words, he still couldn’t the shake his fear or worry away. ‘Don’t you have your concerns?’ Min Ho asked weakly. Had he been the only idiot who wavered?

‘I do have my concerns.’ Shin Hye responded softly, ‘But they aren’t about whether or not we’ll succeed.’ Shin Hye clucked her tongue once, and then continued, ‘I’m not saying what you feel or fear is invalid, or that mine is better than yours. In fact, it’s right up there with my concerns. I just think…that, we should focus on the positive?’

Min Ho pressed his lips tightly together as he brought a free hand up and ran it through his hair. He should’ve just shut his mouth. At least until Shin Hye was back in Korea and they could talk face-to-face. ‘Mianhae, Shin Hye. I…I…It’s just been a hard 2-weeks.’

Shin Hye breathed in deeply, ‘Even if we can’t talk about it on the phone, text me about it, Oppa. If you’re having a bad day, tell me. If you’re having a good day, tell me.’

‘I miss you…’

‘I miss you too…’

‘I’m sorry for spoiling the remainder of your holiday.’ He felt terrible. He had been so selfish.

‘It’s not spoiled if you promise me that you won’t let these fears and worries consume you. Let me come back, let us talk it out face-to-face. I’ll share mine, and you tell me yours. Don’t shut me out.’

He could feel a smile spreading out on his face, and his heart skipped a little, ‘How did I get so lucky?’

‘You promise?’

‘I promise. Thank you for being strong for the both of us.’

‘We’ll take turns.’

‘You’re definitely the better fire-fighter.’

‘Eh?’

‘You put out that terrible, growing fire in my heart and mind out so efficiently. I’m so glad that you did. Keunde, Fire-fighter Park, what are you going to do about my jealousy? How dare you go on a coffee date with Kim Woo Bin? How dare you take such hot pictures with other men?’

Shin Hye giggled, glad that the dorky Min Ho was back. ‘I’ll come back and make sure your fire of worry and fear is really, completely out, arasso? And I’ll see what I can do about your green-monster, while I’m at it. Wait for me.’

‘Always.’




















Author's Note:

Oh gee, I did not expect Kim Bum and Moon Geun Young's break up
when I wrote about that chapter with KB and MGY's shaky relationship.
Oops. 

I don't actually know where Shin Hye is right now. Is she back in Korea
yet? As far as I know, she's been in NYC for quite awhile now. Or has 
she ninja-ed her way back to Korea (or elsewhere) already? I don't know~

Thank you for reading :)

This was my attempt at creating some of the darker, deeper feelings one might experience. 
It was quite a struggle as I usually avoid all conflicts as much as possible (this includes
fastforwarding shows during the sad/angry bits). HEHE.
And even as I wrote this, my mind was constantly on the end--how they'd come out happier and stronger. 

Ok, back to work now!