The past 3 months would have been hell for you if it weren’t for Dongwoo being there. Once Sunggyu left, it seemed that nothing would fall into place. College . You always had too much work and your roommate wasn’t exactly the best either. She was so uptight but despite that, she managed to go out whenever she could and party her life away. You wondered if she had actual problems, but she rarely spoke to you and if she did, it was always in a condescending tone, like you were just scum below her. She was just everything you weren’t used to. You were used to seven boys, all with a laid-back personality and didn’t cause any drama that girls usually did. You started to regret not making girl friends in high school but it didn’t matter now, all you could do was just it up and deal.

You still talked to Sunggyu whenever he could and texts were frequent. You just hated that he wasn’t physically here, the distance created a clear strain on your “more than friends” relationship.

But whenever you were with Dongwoo and he looked into your eyes, it seemed like everything was easy. It’s like being with him lifted whatever weight you had on your shoulders. You loved feeling that sense of relief, even if it was only temporary. Dongwoo spent as much time as he could with you, wishing your relief wasn't temporary. Dongwoo was always there whenever you needed him and even when you didn’t. You looked to him for strength, for comfort, and for love. You hated to admit it, but you were starting to become dependent on him. Dongwoo realized this too but didn’t mind it and took advantage, showing you he was everything you would ever need. But there was always a lingering thought, you may have needed him but you weren’t sure if you wanted him.

-------------------

Christmas was now around the corner and a mix of excitement and anxiousness built in your heart as you waited for that text from Sunggyu telling you when he would be arriving.

You were in the library studying alone, Dongwoo probably out playing sports, when your phone vibrated. This is it, you thought, after three months of not seeing Sunggyu, he’s finally coming back home. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the thought as you unlocked your phone and opened the message.

“I won’t be coming home for Christmas. Things came up at school and I really can’t leave, it depends on my future as a singer. I’m incredibly sorry but I know you’ll understand. Next break I get, I’ll be on the earliest plane there. I miss you so much, but let’s be strong right now, okay? ^^”  
Your heart started sinking and denial was taking over, he’s lying; he’s probably just saying that because he wants to surprise me. You packed up your books and started heading out the door while dialing the phone number you knew by heart, it was always much quicker than finding Sunggyu’s name in your contacts.
Emotions were running through your body and thoughts were scattered as you waited for that familiar voice to answer.

“Hey you, listen—“
“Sunggyu, you can’t be serious. You better not be lying and telling me this just so you can surprise me. You know I hate surprises and plus it wouldn’t work because I’m actually going somewhere for Christmas for you information.” You words came out the way they always did when you were upset, quick and with attitude.

Sunggyu sighed, “I wish I was kidding. But I’m really not. There’s a school talent show Christmas Eve and it’s where all the scouting managers of big record companies go looking for fresh talent. I really wish I didn’t have to go but this could be it, my dreams could come true. And that’s what you want from me right? For me to be happy and live my dream? I mean, you wouldn’t have willingly let me leave if you knew I wasn’t going to be happy.” He paused, waiting for you to say something. But at this time you were quiet, even if you did want to say something you couldn’t; everything Sunggyu had said was right.

“I’m really sorry. If you want to be mad at me, I understand.”
You weren’t mad, you were beyond that. You were completely disappointed, almost to the point that if Sunggyu didn’t start to speak again, you would have hung up and start crying. “So where are you going for Christmas?” You weren’t going anywhere, Sunggyu and you both knew it but you couldn’t just admit to lying so he would tell you the truth. “Uhm, well we’re going upstate to visit my grandma.” You managed to find some confidence and make your statement sound convincing enough.

“Oh okay. Well I hope you have fun, can’t believe you’re actually not spending this Christmas with Dongwoo or I.”
“I know, I guess things are changing this year.”
“Hmm. Hey, well I have to go. I’ll try to call you tomorrow. If I don’t, just know it wasn’t intentional. We’re starting rehearsals for the talent show so it’s probably going to be a long day for me. I’ll text you whenever I get a break, if I get one.”
 “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I understand.”
“That’s what I love about you.” Sunggyu smiled through the phone. “Love you, miss you.”
“Love you too.” Then the line went dead.

Your phone vibrated again. “I’m at the dinning hall. Where are you?”
“I’m on my way from the library. Save me a seat, yeah?”

-------------------

Dongwoo walked you back to your dorm like he always did but it was quiet this time. You were quiet all throughout dinner too. Dongwoo was telling you about his day and you listened, but you didn’t react and just stared down onto your plate.

“You okay?” Dongwoo asked as he put his arm around your waist.
“Hmm, uhh. Yeah, I’m fine” You sounded so unsure. Why couldn’t I be good at lying? you mentally cursed yourself.
“Uh huh," Dongsoo clearly didn't believe you, "Did you talk to Sunggyu today?”
“Yeah.”
Dongwoo was determined to find out more. “Oh, so how is he?”
“Hmm, he’s good. He could finally get his chance to be famous.”
“Oh really? That’s good, hopefully we’ll see him soon before he becomes famous. Is he coming home for Christmas?”
“No.”
“Huh?! What do you mean?!” Even though Dongwoo had just discovered the reason why you were acting like this, he couldn’t hide his disbelief.
“There’s a school talent show where managers and other important people of record companies go and find people to be discovered. It’s Christmas weekend and Sunggyu’s performing. It’s for his future though, so I don’t mind.”

Dongwoo didn’t realize it but you were already at your dorm building, “I should go. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” You gave Dongwoo a weak smile.
“Uhhh, wait! Do you want to stay in my dorm for the night?” Dongwoo always offered for you to stay in his dorm in the building next to yours, his roommate was never in there anyway. You usually always accepted, anything to stay away from your roommate, but tonight you declined. “No, it’s okay. I’m really tired, so I’m just going to go straight to bed.”
And cry your eyes out, Dongwoo finished your sentence in his head. “Oh okay well yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You started to walk away but Dongwoo caught your arm and pulled you into a hug. “I’m here if you need me.” He kissed your forehead. “Good night, love”
“Good night.”