I can’t believe that I am now with the love of my life.  Yes, I admit, that, no matter how much hard I tried to erase her in my entire being, I just can’t.  I’ve been loving her since we started working together.  It’s not the “love at first sight” thing.  The “worst” kind of love I guess, it is when your feeing was developed/ grew.  It is like a plant.  From a mere seed that is just left lying on the ground it will grow into a tree, a sturdy tree that whatever weather will come, it will survive and stood still.  With its root that is rooted firmly onto the ground.  Even if you cut it, after sometimes the leaves will come out and mock you, as if saying, I will outlived all of you living creatures.  That is how much I love her.

And right now, I think I am falling deeper.  Because of all the attention and care that she is showering towards me just now.  I need to stop this.  But I can’t reject and be harsh to her now, can I?  With all the efforts she’s been doing.  Maybe she’s just being nice to make a good atmosphere when we started to work together again.  I can’t raise my hopes that maybe she’s starting to feel the same way towards me.

I can’t forget the times before that I thought she loved me too.  With the way she treated me.  I raised my hopes too high that maybe she felt the same way.  The higher my hopes are, the deeper it hurts me.  Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night with tears on my eyes, still.  Time to move on Aom.