a/n: just a warning. this is VERY angsty and you may not like it, but that's what I'm feeling right now. please don't hate me for it...or Siwon

“No—no one Kyu. She’s no one,” said Siwon reaching to take the files, but Kyuhyun moved them out of his reach.

“No one? That’s a pretty awful ing name, let’s just see what else there is to know about No One,” said Kyuhyun turning away to read the contents of the file. “Let’s see…she’s 175 cm…57 kg—

Siwon lunged for the papers, but Kyuhyun turned out of his reach.

“A cellist…She likes horses—“ Kyuhyun started again, trying to move away from Siwon’s grabbing hands.

 “She drives an Audi and her father owns one of the top companies in the country—wow she sounds just like you—

Siwon finally grabbed Kyuhyun from behind and snatched the files out of his hands, tossing them across the floor before he could read anymore.

Kyuhyun was silent for a moment as he looked down at the scattered papers on the floor. He could feel Siwon’s pants on the back of his neck as they both stood there, slightly embarrassed with how they had just behaved.

“You're such a liar Won,” he sighed sadly as he shook his head.

Kyuhyun knew he should just leave now and not look back. He had seen everything he needed or wanted to and there was little Siwon could say to change things. All of this time, he had allowed himself to be convinced that what they had was really blossoming into something beautiful, only to have it now go up in flames.

“Why? Why are you lying to me?” asked Kyuhyun with a dejected look when he turned around finally to face him, after Siwon had stayed quiet.

“I’m sorry,” was all Siwon could say softly.

“What good is that now?” Kyuhyun sniffed as he slowly shook his head. He was trying his best to hold back his tears but he knew he was failing miserably.

“Kyu please, I just need you to understand—”

“Understand what?! Despite what you clearly think, I’m not an idiot Siwon!”

Siwon swallowed hard as he closed his eyes.

“I already know what all of that is,” said Kyuhyun as evenly as he could as he pointed to the scattered papers on the floor. “But I want you to tell me why you have it.”

“It’s not at all what you're thinking,” said Siwon slowly.

“Isn’t it?!” yelled Kyuhyun making Siwon slightly flinch. “For G-d’s sake, just for like five minutes can you stop lying to me!”

“I’m not lying. What I mean is, it wasn’t my idea,” he said softly.

“What wasn’t your idea?” asked Kyuhyun through gritted teeth.

“Having this meeting…this dinner,” said Siwon looking down.

“Why do you keep saying that?! Why won’t you just call it what it is?!” asked Kyuhyun frowning.

“Because…” Siwon mouthed weakly.

“Because what?!”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said sympathetically.

“Hurt me? Where was your concern about hurting me ten minutes ago when you wouldn’t kiss me or hold me?! Or when you were pushing me out the door?! Or when you were making me feel like I wasn’t even wanted here?! Was that not supposed to hurt?! Well guess what?! It did! Almost more than you lying about having this girlfriend—

“She is not my girlfriend!” Siwon said firmly, finding his strength again.

“Not yet anyway,” mumbled Kyuhyun. “Why are you even still here? Isn’t she waiting for you—

“Kyu, don’t. Please don’t talk like this,” said Siwon as he reached forward and embraced Kyuhyun tightly.

“What are you doing?! No, don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” yelled Kyuhyun trying to fight off Siwon’s grip that had tightened around his torso.

Siwon stayed silent as he rested his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder.

“Ugh! Siwon….please let go of me!” groaned Kyuhyun, his eyes beginning to brim again with tears. He couldn’t handle Siwon holding him now because it was clouding his judgment.

“Kyu listen to me—I did not do this. My father arranged everything. He’s forcing me to go. He’s set up almost ten of these arrangements and I’ve cancelled every last one— Siwon whispered in Kyuhyun’s ear, still refusing to let him go.

“What?” asked Kyuhyun in disbelief.

“My father has been doing this for months now. Ever since that day he found out about us…”

“Wh…why?” asked Kyuhyun heartbreakingly.

“Kyu, you know why,” Siwon said softly. “And each time I’ve found some way to get out of it. The last one was two weeks ago, on Tuesday night when you were—

—sick,” whispered Kyuhyun closing his eyes.

“Yes,” confirmed Siwon. “I stayed with you remember? Right here in this apartment, and I took care of you. And every time before that, when I was supposed to be with one of these girls, I was with you.”

The tension in Kyuhyun’s body melted away and in it’s place left despair.

“And he knew, every time, didn’t he?”

He felt Siwon nod as his grip loosened.

Kyuhyun staggered out of Siwon’s arms and towards his couch where he collapsed. He peeled his hat off of his head and ran his hands through his hair before leaning over and burying his face in the cushions.

Siwon wasn’t surprised when he heard the soft hiccups of Kyuhyun’s cries, even though they were muffled.

“Kyu, please, please don’t,” said Siwon helplessly as he moved to sit beside Kyuhyun on the couch.

He sat close to Kyuhyun’s now shaking body and leaned over so that he could hug his back and just hold him.

Kyuhyun turned his head to the side, letting his cheek press against the soft cushion while he exhaled slowly.

“…just don’t go…please Won, like all the other times, just don’t go…what if you like her? What if—

“Kyu that’s not going to happen.”

“But it could! You don’t know what could happen when you see her—

“Stop it.”
 

“It could be love at first sight. You know, like you told me it was for us, only real this time.”

“Stop it, please! Don’t talk like this. You’ll only make it harder for both of us. If I go…just this one time, he’ll leave me alone.”

“No he won’t,” breathed Kyuhyun. “Next he’ll expect you to get married.”

“Well we both know that can’t happen, not as long as I’m in the company.”

“As if that means anything…G-d, I hate him for doing this,” Kyuhyun said softly, shaking his head in anger.

“I know. I don’t want it either. That’s why I’m begging you to just please, please understand that the reason I hid it for so long is because I didn’t want to hurt you like this.”

“But I still don’t understand why you feel like you have to go. Why can’t you just cancel again?” asked Kyuhyun leaning up and turning to face Siwon.

“He would just keep rescheduling it like he already has—what am I supposed to keep saying—

“Anything! Lie if you have to!” Frowned Kyuhyun.

“I can’t do that anymore, I’ve already given him every lie in the book—“ Siwon sighed rubbing the back of his neck

“Won’t. Won’t do it,” he said shaking his head as he looked away in frustration.

“Look at me Kyu,” pleaded Siwon.

When Kyuhyun refused, Siwon took his cheeks in his hands. When he had Kyuhyun’s eyes on him he leaned forward and gently pecked his lips, to which he was surprised Kyuhyun let him do.

“Don’t you love me?” asked Kyuhyun softly as the tears started rolling down his pink cheeks.

“For G-d’s sake, of course I do,” said Siwon kissing him again, this time where the tears had stained his cheeks.

“But only when no one’s watching right?” Kyuhyun breathed.

“You know that’s not true. Kyu…baby, I love you. With everything I have I love you. But I have to play his game. I have to go along with it, for now at least…because if I don’t things could be bad for both of us…people have already started talking. We have to fool them so that they don’t catch on…you know what will happen if they do—

Kyuhyun pulled Siwon’s hands away from his face and stood up once again facing Siwon from just a few feet away.

“Won…if you go, I don’t think I can—no, I know I can’t handle it—

“Kyu, it’s just dinner, nothing’s going to happen, I swear to you. I won’t talk to her, I’ll barely look at her, but I have to be sitting there—

“You keep asking me to be understanding, but for some reason it’s so hard for you to do the same thing. How would you feel if I went out with someone else tonight?”

“That’s different and you know it—

“How?!?”

“I’m not choosing this—

“Yes! Yes you are!”

Siwon sighed as he put his hands to his head.

Suddenly his phone began ringing.

Looking down at the screen, Siwon saw that it was his father.

“It’s my father—

“Tell him you can’t do it. Tell him you won’t—

“Kyu—started Siwon helplessly.

Kyuhyun exhaled sharply and turned around. Siwon having no choice, answered the call.

“Appa—yes I know. I…I know, I’ll apologize to her and her father. Listen Appa, I…I don’t think that…I need to…cancel this dinner tonight—

Kyuhyun turned around with big eyes.

“Yes, I understand, it’s just that...” Siwon sighed rubbing a hand across his face as he closed his eyes. “Okay…okay…I will…fine….fine! But I can tell you now that this is the first and last one I’ll agree to—

Siwon’s head popped up at the sound of his front door slamming.

“Kyu!” he yelled out, cringing when he heard his father unleash a string of curses at the knowledge that Kyuhyun was there.

Dropping the phone to the floor, Siwon ran to the door and jerked it open to see the elevator doors close with a final ding.