This story comes a few months after the Will You Be My Love fic that I wrote a while back. Siwon and Kyuhyun's relationship is still very new and vulnerable at this point and they are still more or less hiding it from others, especially Siwon's father. oh, and there will be more parts to it later^^

Siwon was sitting slumped down on his couch, eyes fixed on the file open on his lap. His finger the picture slowly. A girl smiled back at him. His finger glided over the pale pink dress that ruffled at her knee. She was tall and thin, but somehow still delicate as her long light brown curls cascaded over one of her shoulders. Her eyes were bright and kind.

And she was pretty.

There was no denying that. Prettier than the others and more talented too. Siwon’s eyes flicked over the words that accompanied the photo in the file.

She was a music major at one of the top universities in the country. A cellist. Behind the photo of her in the pink dress was one of her performing at a concert. He was taken aback by the strength she demonstrated. Though her face was soft, the music had completely consumed her and she was lost to it. In some ways, she was more beautiful here, lost in the music and it made Siwon shudder. It reminded him of someone else he knew. Someone he loved to watch loose himself so willingly to the music pouring out of him.

There was a knock at the door and Siwon couldn’t have been happier for the distraction. He tossed the file onto the coffee table and didn’t even consider the oddity of having someone knock  at his door, at 7 o’clock on a Thursday, until he was halfway across the floor.

As it dawned on him, he slowed down some and instead of going immediately for the door, he instead stood in front of the security camera and hit the button that would allow him to see who was standing just outside the door.

A small gasp escaped his lips when he saw the last face he had planned on seeing tonight.

Standing there in a cap, a long sleeved tee, worn in jeans, and a pair of pitifully old sneakers, Siwon watched at Kyuhyun fidgeted awkwardly, clearly consumed with anxiety over being caught standing here.

Normally Siwon would have whisked him in without a second thought, but tonight was different. Tonight he had hoped that he could somehow forget about Kyuhyun for just a few hours, despite how cruel that sounded, but so that he could just get through it in one piece.

Realizing that he couldn’t leave him out there all night, Siwon slowly opened the door to reveal a slightly annoyed Kyuhyun.

“Oh good, for a minute I thought you weren’t home. What are you so dressed up for?” Kyuhyun sighed as he walked through Siwon’s front door.

Kyuhyun had made the decision to come over to Siwon’s apartment after having not heard from him all day. It hadn’t struck him as odd, considering they both had busy schedules that day, but now, seeing Siwon all dressed up made him wonder if all of this was for him.

“You weren’t planning something were you? Ugh, you should have told me, I look awful,” said Kyuhyun looking down at himself as he shrugged off his coat.

Siwon swallowed thickly as he as he pushed his front door closed. In the first few seconds after opening his door, he had been slightly horrified to see Kyuhyun standing there. So horrified in fact that he hadn’t even moved, much less opened his mouth to greet him. Which left Kyuhyun with no choice but to give him a quick peck on the cheek before shoving his way into the apartment.

“Well I can’t really do anything about it now, so why don’t you just tell me what is it that that you wanted to do tonight?” asked Kyuhyun after tossing his coat carelessly over the back of Siwon’s couch.

It had only been a few months since he and Siwon had become a couple and yet he was entirely comfortable here, treating it more like his home than the dorms.

Siwon felt the blood drain from his face as he finally pushed the door closed, his palm resting against the cold metal as he thought once, and then twice, about what he was about to say.

“Won?” asked Kyuhyun with a nervous chuckle.

His eyes raked over Siwon’s sharp suit. The only time he saw him dressed like this was when they had formal schedules or when he was going to church. But Siwon had no schedules tonight and it was too late for any church services.

“Kyu, I…” said Siwon rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided Kyuhyun’s eyes. “I have to go out tonight, it’s really important and I can’t cancel it…I’m sorry.”

“Oh, well…oh,” said Kyuhyun deflating. “…are you…?”

Siwon’s eyes searched Kyuhyun’s face, waiting for him to finish his thought.

“Am I what?” he asked finally when it looked like Kyuhyun might not speak again.

“Are you…mad at me?” he asked shyly.

“Mad at you?” asked Siwon shaking his head in confusion.

“Well you didn’t call me all day—“ he frowned.

“Kyu…I was busy. You were busy too. There just wasn’t any time,” Siwon said with an exasperated sigh.

Kyuhyun flinched at these words. Siwon always found time to call or at the very least, send some kind of message. But the day had simply passed without anything. Something was wrong here, but he couldn’t understand what it could be yet.

“Okay fine. But are you going to at least tell me why you're being like this?” asked Kyuhyun shaking his head in confusion.

“Like what?” Siwon shrugged innocently.

“Like you don’t want me here or something,” said Kyuhyun crossing his arms.

“Kyu, no. It’s not that.  I just…I’m having dinner with someone and I’m nervous,” Siwon said, immediately wishing he hadn’t.

“Dinner? With who?” asked Kyuhyun tilting his head to the side.

“Um, a colleague of my father’s…he wants me to meet them. Tonight’s the only night they're in town, so I uh…”

“Why would that make you nervous?” asked Kyuhyun shaking his head. “From the way you’ve been acting it looks like you were walking to your death.”

Siwon laughed nervously.

“What time are you meeting them?” asked Kyuhyun when he realized Siwon wasn’t going to answer his question.

“Um, in about twenty minutes, so I have to get going,” he said scratching the back of his head.

“Okay fine, I understand,” Kyuhyun nodded as he walked back over to the couch.

Siwon’s heart broke at the look on Kyuhyun’s face. It was sadness, but more than that. Underneath was hurt and rejection.

When Kyuhyun reached for his coat, he could feel his cheeks slightly flush in embarrassment. It was silly of him to come over without calling first, but he just assumed that Siwon would want to spend their evening off together.

Although he felt an incredible sense of guilt, Siwon said nothing as he watched Kyuhyun struggle to get his arm in the sleeve of his jacket. He needed Kyuhyun to leave and to leave now, no more questions asked, because he knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be able lie to him, even though he should.

He was more than relieved when he heard Kyuhyun’s footsteps nearing closer to him and thus, the door.

Giving a weak smile Kyuhyun stopped in front of Siwon.

“Well, I hope you have a nice dinner,” he said trying not to sound disappointed. He hadn’t been over the moon excited for lounging on the couch tonight, but now that it wasn’t an option he found himself craving it more than ever.

“I’m really sorry,” Siwon finally choked out. “I’ll call you later, I promise. Will you be up late?”

“Yeah, I’ll probably just catch up on my gaming,” shrugged Kyuhyun.

Siwon nodded before clearing his throat, wishing to G-d that he could just explain to Kyuhyun what was going on in his mind, but he knew that wasn’t an option.

Kyuhyun stared at his feet for a minute, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Can I get a kiss goodnight?” he mumbled, not looking up into Siwon’s eyes.

“Since when have you ever needed to ask me that?” Siwon asked with a sigh.

Kyuhyun softly shook his head, “Well it doesn’t seem like you’re really interested in even touching me tonight so I wasn’t sure—

Siwon pulled Kyuhyun close, his arms wrapping around Kyuhyun’s torso as he rested his lips close to his ear.

“I will always be interested in kissing you, don’t say silly things like that,” he whispered.

Siwon knew for a fact that Kyuhyun was still very self conscious when it came to their relationship. Because there were so many forces trying to keep them apart, Kyuhyun needed constant reassurance that this wasn’t a temporary stop over for Siwon until he finally decided on someone else. Normally, Siwon had no problems smothering Kyuhyun with proofs of his love. But tonight his mind was somewhere else and he hadn’t been aware of how he was being careless with Kyuhyun’s feelings until right now.

“Well sometimes it’s hard for me to remember,” Kyuhyun mumbled sadly as he pulled away to put some distance between them.

Before he could continue, he was silenced by Siwon pressing his lips firmly against his.

The kiss was tame but it sparked something within Siwon. Something dangerous that he knew he had to ignore before things went in a direction he wouldn’t be able to turn away from.

But unfortunately it had already spread through Kyuhyun.

Having missed the feeling of Siwon’s kisses, he parted his lips, expecting Siwon to fill his mouth the way he always did, but nothing happened. Choosing to ignore this, Kyuhyun pressed on, raising his hands to the back of Siwon’s neck, his fingers the hairs at his nape. Though Siwon’s lips were now more responsive, they were still void of any of the passion they normally had.

After an awkward few moments of this one-sided kissing Siwon forced himself to pull away.

“Kyu…you should probably go. I really can’t be late tonight,” he said softly.

A frown tugged at the corner of Kyuhyun’s mouth before he nodded, looking Siwon over once more.

“Good luck with meeting your father’s colleague,” he said rubbing awkwardly at his mouth with the back of his hand.

His inability to read Siwon right now was making him feel even more self conscious that he did earlier.

            “Thanks,” Siwon said looking down at his feet, leaving Kyuhyun with no choice but to reach for the door handle.

“Wait,” Kyuhyun said pausing as he shook his head.

Siwon looked up suddenly, swallowing hard as he met eyes with Kyuhyun.

“I can’t let you go out like this. Your tie is ridiculously crooked,” sighed Kyuhyun reaching over to fix it.

As he stepped closer to Siwon to straighten his tie, Siwon grew anxious. Kyuhyun’s fingers fiddled with the fabric, trying his best to make it cooperate and all the while, Siwon was growing more and more restless.

“Kyu, it’s fine, it’s fine,” said Siwon touching Kyuhyun’s hands and pulling them away quickly.

Kyuhyun frowned, and drew his hands back slowly.

“I just wanted to help,” said Kyuhyun softly as he looked away.

Siwon sighed, “I’m sorry, I know.”

“Won, seriously, what’s wrong with you? You're not yourself,” said Kyuhyun, exasperated.

“I’m fine, really,” Siwon said, trying to relax. “I just, I really need to get going, so…”
 

Kyuhyun swallowed as he nodded, “I know. You’ve been saying it ever since I walked through the door. I’m leaving now, don’t worry.”

His tone stung Siwon slightly and he instantly regretted how he’d been treating Kyuhyun this entire time. He hadn’t meant to be so cold but he knew that if he gave into his feelings, he knew they would end up as a tangled half-dressed mess on his couch and he would have no way of explaining that to his father.

Kyuhyun opened the door and stepped out into the lonely hallway once again before turning to face Siwon.

“I really will call, I promise Kyu,” said Siwon looking into his eyes.

Kyuhyun nodded without saying a word, choosing instead to just head towards the elevators.

Siwon watched with a guilty heart as the doors opened immediately, prompting Kyuhyun to step on to the elevator in a hurry. The last image he saw of Kyuhyun’s face was of a down cast look, as it was clear he wasn’t going to look back towards the apartment.

With a sigh, Siwon closed his front door and then leaned against it. He had really just soured things between him and Kyu and it was going to take a lot of effort to heal, but all of that would have to wait.

Glancing at the clock on his wall, his eyes grew and he quickly ran to his bathroom to check and make sure that he was presentable before he left.

Hearing a knock on the door five minutes later was the last thing he was prepared for.

Peeking his head out of the bathroom, he listened for it again to make sure he indeed heard correctly.

“Siwon!” he heard Kyuhyun’s voice call out.

Siwon’s eyes closed. Kyuhyun was probably coming back to tell him off, which he deserved, but had no time for. But instead of have it be yelled at him through his door, he decided it best be done within the apartment walls.

Walking back to the front door to open it, Siwon was prepared to speak first when Kyuhyun beat him to it.

“I think my phone must have fallen out of my pocket onto your couch,” was all Kyuhyun said as he stepped around Siwon once again.

Siwon nodded in understanding as he watched Kyuhyun go to retrieve it.

Just as he had imagined, it was there, nestled in the gap between the cushions.

As he held it in the air to prove that he had found it, his eyes landed on the open file on the coffee table.

“Kyu?” asked Siwon when he noticed his focus was distracted.

Kyuhyun frowned as he focused more clearly on the contents on the file. Walking around from the back of the couch, Kyuhyun stood in front of the coffee table and bent down to pick up the file.

Siwon suddenly moved forward to stop him, but he was too late.

“Won…who is Kim Yura?”