Two weeks later..

“So, what have you got to say for yourself Hyosung ssi?”. I didn't even dare make any eye contact with my agency’s CEO. Currently, I’m already back in Korea after going for a tour in Europe. Trust me, it was the most difficult two weeks of my life. I’m supposed to enjoy every moment that I spent there in Europe but I just couldn’t. Our fans were amazing and the love and support that we get there was just out of this world but I just can’t enjoy all that because before I went to Europe, the photos of my quick date with Kikwang had went viral all over the net. To be honest, my fans and Kikwang’s fans really gave their support to us and I can’t help but felt really touched and appreciated but the negative comments and bashings that I had to face were there too. During the two weeks I’m in Europe, Kikwang never failed to either Skype or KakaoTalk to me and keep on telling me to be strong and telling me that we’ll face this situation together. I don’t even know where he get all that strength to face this situation and comfort me at the same time. I told him that the best thing that we have to do right now is to just not contact each other for a moment but Kikwang strongly disagree to it. I still remember what he told me when I contact him through Skype. He said, “Do you remember what I told you on KaTalk? Before I asked you to be my girlfriend, I told you that we’re not gonna be walking on an easy path and if you are willing to walk on this path with me, let’s make amazing memories together and enjoy each other’s company because I really do love you? You said yes right? Which means, you are willing to walk with me on this path.. I wouldn’t have ask you to do so if I’m not confident about it ya know? Right now, this is one of the many obstacles that we’re facing and if you’re not strong enough to face this, how are you gonna face the rest of the obstacles? Are you gonna leave me alone to face it?”. Tears rolled down my cheeks the moment I saw his tears rolling down too. “So? Should I still wait here for your answer or you’re not going to answer at all?”. My CEO’s voice ended my flashback. ‘No Kikwang.. I’m not gonna let you face the obstacles yourself because I’ve promise to walk this path together with you.’. I told myself and with that, I answered my CEO’s question and told him the truth. “Fine.. I’m glad that you told me the truth Hyosung ssi..”. I heard my CEO say after a few minutes of silence. “Unfortunately, you’ve signed a contract with us and one of the rules in the contract clearly state that you are not suppose to be in any kind of love relationship with the opposite till we say so but, looks like you didn’t follow that rule. Right now, there are two choices. It’s either you stop all the activities that you’re doing now for the time being which, will affect your group members or you end the relationship that you’re in right now. I know this sounds really mean but I’m being fair to your sunbaes and hoobaes who signed the very same contract like you. This is for the sake of this company and Secret. I hope you make your decision really soon as I have a lot of clearing up to do. That’s all. Thank you Hyosung ssi..”. Heartless. That’s the first thing that came to my mind. Afterall, I am a human too and normal humans have feelings. Does he even have one? ‘Andwae Hyosung ah.. You can’t say like that about him because if it wasn’t for him, you won’t be where you are now..’. I told myself. I was about to walk away from the front door of my CEO’s office when suddenly, I felt like I’ve already made up my mind. I thought of getting suggestions from my members but then, I will still have to make the final decision in the end and with that, I knocked my CEO’s office door and went in with a thinking that this decision is the best decision for all of us.

The next day..

“Apparently both agencies have denied that the two of them are dating.. Lee Kikwang of Beast and Jeon Hyosung of Secret are not in a relationship so does that mean that the photos that have surfaced online had been photoshopped or just their doppelganger? We leave you to decide.”.

Sunhwa turned off the tv and turned to me. So does Jieun and Hana. I was busy surfing the net with my headphone on so I’ve no idea what’s going on till a small pillow landed on my laptop. I look up and realize that the three of them are looking at me with their annoyed expression. I slowly took off my headphone. “Mwo?”. I asked. “Unnie ah.. Does that mean you’ve broke up with Kikwang?”. Sunhwa asked. I’m trying to show my straight face but only god knows how much it hurts everytime I hear that name. “Why do you suddenly ask me that?”. I asked her back without answering her question. I heard frustrated sighs coming out from all three of them. “It’s all over the news and the net now saying that you and Kikwang are not dating..”. Hana told me. I just shrugged and turned my attention back to my laptop screen. “You just don’t care do you unnie?”. I heard Sunhwa say. Slowly I look at her and my eyes started to get teary. “What do you mean I don’t care? What makes you think I don’t even care Sunhwa yah?! Do you even think I have a choice? I love him Sunhwa yah! I love him so much that I’ve promised him that we’ll walk this path together! We’ll face all this obstacles together and I don’t want him to face all this alone.. I, promised him that! And you still say I don’t care? Do you even care how I’m feeling right now Sunhwa?!!”. Tears roll down my cheeks and I just can’t do this anymore. I ran to my room and cry my heart out. This is just so hard for me right now and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to face this, alone.

Flashback..

KakaoTalk conversation..

Me: Kikwang ah.. You know I love you right? I love you so much that I don’t want anything to happen to you ever, right? This is really hard for me but I have no choice but to let this relationship come to an end.. We had so much fun memories and we enjoyed each other’s company for a whole year although out of 10 dates, 8 of our dates are quick dates.. Keke! I know I’ve promised you.. I know that. Nanuen nappeun saram yah.. I really am. I’ve always told myself that I will never ever let you get hurt and promise myself not to let you down but looks like I can’t keep all that promises. Trust me that this decision is not what I wanted but I can’t be selfish either. I really hope that in the near future when we meet again, we can still greet each other and at least ask how our day is.. Thank you Kikwang ah. Thank you for being a part of my life. You’re the best thing that have ever happened to me. Thank you.

Flashback ends..

“Unnie? Unnie? Gwaenchana? Unnie uljimayo.. You can tell me everything if you want to.. You know Sunhwa didn’t mean it that way right.. We’re all worried for you..”. I heard Jieun’s soft voice behind me. I cried even louder when I heard Jieun said that. I quickly got up and hug her tight. I just need a shoulder to cry on right this minute and I know that my members will always support me through my ups and downs.

Later that night..

I told Jieun, Sunhwa and Hana everything. From what our CEO told me till what I told Kikwang on KaTalk. “Omo unnie ah! Mianheyo! Jinja mianheyo unnie ah! I really didn’t know you had to go through all that..”. Sunhwa apologized to me. “Ani Sunhwa yah.. I should apologize to you for raising my voice just now..”. I put my arms around Sunhwa’s shoulder and pull her close. We’re all gathered on my bed and sat there in silence for a moment. “Sorry if I have to ask this unnie but… did Kikwang reply to your message?”. Hana asked me in the most cautious tone. I looked at her and have nothing to say except to just show her a bitter smile.