I decided not to cut my hair because I think it’s best for me to cut it after I give birth to my son as a symbolism for a new life. I miss Jimin and long for him even more whenever I am craving for something. I want him to be by my side whenever my baby kicks. I want to be like other parents who share the excitement of having their first baby together. I want all of those things but I also want to be understanding for him. I also want to be there despite him not being able to be besides me.

A knock on the door interrupted me while I was busy with my thoughts on Jimin. I opened the door and Hana was at the door with swollen eyes, as if she had been crying the whole time. I look around, wandering if she came by herself, and was about to curse at Park Seo Joon for letting her girlfriend wandering around alone like this but he was just there hidden in a corner besides the door.

“LEAVE!” She screams to Seo Joon and collapse right when she hugged me. Seo Joon, knowing that I could not hold on Hana’s weight took her and carry her inside. Seo Joon lay her on the sofa and put her head on his lap as he caresses her cheek and ask me to get him some ice to reduce the swelling on her eyes.

“Am I doing this right?” Seo Joon asks me, not knowing if the ice would help or not. I just shrugged not knowing if it’s right or wrong. But if it works on other part of body, it would surely works on the eye, right?

“Did you guys fought?” I asks bluntly. Again, this person I do not know of, where did you come from?

“I don’t think so. I just finish my shooting when I saw several miss calls from her and when I called her back, she was drunk. So I ask her where she’s at and she said that she’s at the place where she doesn’t want anyone else to find her at, and that will be at my place, so I went back right away and saw her crying non-stop,” Seo Joon said to me while patting Hana.

Why is ‘the place where she doesn’t want anyone else to find her at’ be your place? And why was she crying?” I ask again.

“She told me that she doesn’t want to be found at my place ever by someone else besides me and you. She said that if she were to be found, my career will be over. About why she cried, she actually, while being drunk, recorded herself and when I watched the video, I realized that it was recorded for you. I guess I’m not supposed to know why as well, but she was the one who told me to watch the video on her phone,” Seo Joon said and I hit him on his head because doing it despite knowing it’s an instruction given while she was drunk. I took her phone that Seo Joon have in his hand and was going to watch it when Seo Joon stop me and ask me to watch them alone.

“Don’t worry about Hana, I’ll take care of her,” Seo Joon said and puts a blanket on Hana and a pillow on her head.

I went to my room and play the recently recorded video on her phone. The video started with Hana bowing to the camera and introduces herself like how people would do when they went for an audition. And then, she looks as if she’s going to act out a character but ended up sitting on the floor instead because she loses balance.

“Kang Miso. You know, I… always know that everyone hates me. But I had to pretend not to know… Because If I directly ask them, them… ask them why, I would be this… this overly-sensitive person… and they would all ended up blaming me for being one… but they… you know them, you know? They always say that they’re my friend. They’re my friend… but why can’t they accept me?” It feels like someone put a knife to my heart as I watch that video.

“They… You know them… They always talk bad behind me, curse at me and calling me names… Yes, I’m that ugly “friend” that they have…” Hana use the quote sign when she said the word friend and then look at her own fingers and laugh at them.

“Friend? Pfft! Yes, sure, let’s say they hate me because I’m overly sensitive, because my personality stinks. But why do they like being with you? You... your personality stinks more than mine!! you don’t even like talking to them!! You’re always with your books and your headphone covering your ears from listening to them talk!” Other people who li