WARNING!!! WARNING!!! WARNING!!! This chapter contains swearing and epic daejae feels!!!

Thursday morning, and Daehyun was knocking on the door to Youngjae's room the moment the clock stuck 9:00am and visiting hours began. He figured that, since Youngjae didn't want him there, he shouldn't abuse his privileges of staying there past visiting hours. Although, just because Youngjae didn't want him there didn't mean Daehyun wouldn't come back. No. He'll never give up on Youngjae. Youngjae is absolutely perfect, in Daehyun's opinion, and he planned to show him that. With Youngjae, Daehyun finally found something he'd been looking for forever and he wasn't about to give that up. He made Youngjae fall in love with him once, he can do it again.

“Come in,” Youngjae called upon hearing a knock at the door. He knew it was either Daehyun or Junhong and Yongguk. The doctor would only knock once before he walked I without waiting for a reply and the nurses didn't knock. Part of him hoped it was Daehyun. It turns out that the issue of not being able to sleep without Daehyun with him was carried into the real world too. He missed Dae, more than words could ever describe, but how did he know Daehyun wouldn't hurt him like his parents and everyone else had done? The other, smaller, part of him hoped it wasn't Daehyun. He was afraid that if Daehyun turned up his resolve would crumble and he'd let Daehyun in, leaving himself open to disappointment.

Of course, it was Daehyun.

The Busan boy walked in holding a large bunch of yellow roses in front of his face, hiding behind them in case Youngjae really didn't want to see him. When he heard Youngjae's sweet laugh, he took it as his cue to show his face. Like every time he saw Youngjae, he had a goofy smile on his face.

“I, uh, I was going to get you red roses, but I thought that was a bit cliché,” Daehyun explained placing the roses flowers in the vase beside Jae's hospital bed, “And then I saw these roses, and I know they aren't the exact shade of yellow we had in the field, but they were the closest things to it. The second time I ever saw you, you were sitting in the middle of our field and you were playing with this single yellow rose. You looked so small and innocent, and even though I had no idea who you were, I thought you were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen in my life,”

“Dae, I-”

Daehyun cut him off.

“You don't have to say anything,” he gave Youngjae a tight-lipped smile. He knew he wouldn't have liked what Youngjae was about to say. “How are you feeling?”

Youngjae sighed.

“I have a bit of a headache,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “the doctor keeps checking on me to make sure I haven't had any sudden amnesia, my scars are stinging a little and, well...”

“Well what?” Daehyun urged Youngjae to tell him.

Youngjae looked down at the white hospital sheets as he replied quietly.

“Let's just say my wrists are getting a little itchy,”

Daehyun could tell he was ashamed, but he shouldn't be. Something like this doesn't just go away overnight. Even if you don't want to hurt yourself again, you still feel the need to. That's one of the reasons so many people self-harm. It's like cigarettes; its bad for you and you don't particularly want it, but the need for it is always there. It's addictive and Daehyun didn't expect Youngjae to just be okay because he was awake. Just because he was alive didn't mean all of his problems just went away. But that was why Daehyun was here; to help him move on from his past and look toward his future – one that hopefully included Daehyun as more than a friend.

“It's alright,” Daehyun took a chance and gripped Youngjae's hand. The younger didn’t pull away. “That's why you have me bab-” Daehyun managed to catch himself before he called Youngjae 'baby'. He didn't want to freak the other out as he didn't exactly know where they stood in their so-called relationship, “I'll be here to help you all the way. Whenever you feel the urge to self-harm, call me and I’ll come running straight to you, okay? Even if it is just as a friend. I’ll be there to help you and remind you how amazing you are and that a life without you isn't one that I want. This probably isn't the right thing to say at the moment, but I love you Youngjae. I’m so damn in love with you I can't think. I don't know what's going on with us or what you even remember of the dreams, but what I do know is that I love you and once upon a time, you loved me,”

Youngjae's eyes were b with tears.

What Youngjae wants to say is; “I love you too. I’ve loved you for a long time, I was just too scared to admit it. Whenever I'm down, you're the only one I want to call and whenever I imagine a future where I'm happy, its with you.”

But something in his mind won't let him. There's still that small, nagging voice that's telling him not to trust Daehyun, that he'll only get hurt. It's the voice that's always been with Youngjae, and so he listens to it.

So he just says; “everything,”

Daehyun faltered. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

“What?”

“Everything,” Youngjae just looks stoically ahead as he answers. “I remember everything,”

“Wait, so if you remember everything, you remember me, why did you ask me to leave? Youngjae you know how I feel about you,”

“No I don't,” he finally turned to look Daehyun in the eye. “I know how you felt about me in my dreams, but that's just it; they were dreams. Our minds warp things when we dream. How do I know that my mind didn't just warp your true feelings into the ones I wanted you to feel for me? I don't doubt that you care about me as a friend, but as more than that? I don't know. All I know is that I don't really know you,”

Daehyun looked like someone had just slapped him right across the face. That look was gone in an instant and replaced by determination.

“What do I need to do to prove it? Tell me; I’ll do anything,”

“If you need to ask me how to prove it, then you obviously don't love me enough,”

Then, without a warning, Daehyun took two steps towards Youngjae's bed and claimed his lips in a passionate kiss. Youngjae surrendered quickly, responding to the kiss with equal fervor. Daehyun poured all of his feelings towards Youngjae into that one kiss and, like every time they kissed, he felt an electric shock run down his spine. He only broke the kiss when he felt two soft hands reach up to his chest and push lightly.

It was Youngjae's way of asking Daehyun to stop kissing him, because he knew no matter how hard he tried, he could never stop himself when it comes to Daehyun.

“Now tell me you don't feel that,” Daehyun said, his breath was shaky and he could feel the tears running down his face. He would be embarrassed about crying, if only Youngjae wasn't crying too. “Each time I kiss you, I feel a spark so strong it's like I’ve stuck my hand in an electric socket. I feel our connection, Jae. Now tell me you don't. Tell me you don't feel anything for me and I’ll leave you alone for good,”

For Daehyun to leave him for good was the last thing Youngjae wanted.

“I'm not saying I don't feel anything for you, you moron!” Youngjae screamed, his face was wet with tears that Daehyun hated being the cause of, “Jesus ing Christ, are you that god damn stupid, Jung Daehyun, that you can't see I'm in love with you too?!”

Daehyun was shocked. Youngjae, his sweet, innocent, Youngjae, was swearing like a sailor and confessing his love for Dae. Although it was a little inappropriate at this specific time, Daehyun couldn't help but note how insanely hot he found it when Youngjae swore.

“Then what are you saying? If you love me, and I love you, I don't see what the problem is,” Dae said. Even he was surprised at how calm he sounded when on the inside all he wanted to do was scream and cry and beg Youngjae to be with him.

“I'm saying it was easy to love you when I thought I was dead and you weren't real and there was no way for us to be together,” Youngjae was no longer shouting, but his voice was already scratchy from the screaming he just did.

“Youngjae, I was prepared to kill myself to be with you. If that's what I needed to do to be with you, I was ready to do it. All I was waiting for was for you to ask,”

Youngjae shook his head, not bothering to wipe his tears away because he knew they'd just keep coming.

“I would not have ever asked that,” he whispered.

“I know,” Daehyun huffed a short laugh, “it's one of the reasons I love you so much,”

Youngjae looked away.

“I get that you need to think about some things, so I’ll give you some time,” Daehyun said and walked to the door.

Youngjae wanted to stop him, but he couldn't seem to find the words.

His hand was on the knob and one foot was out the door when he turned back to Youngjae and said seriously; “I'm not giving up, Yoo Youngjae. As long as I know you still love me and there's even a little hope that we can be together, I'm not giving up,”

And just like that, he was gone.

And the minute that door closed, Youngjae hid his face in his hands and cried.

Only two more chapters to go before this story is over!! Please leave me a comment and an upvote!