10

Yongguk followed him on the back, smiling a little to see the shorter’s excitement. It was until they got their seat on the second row from the back that he finally talked.

“Do you feel cool now?” he teased.

“Of course,” he chuckled, but his smile quickly disappeared to see Yongguk’s face beside him. “But you’re the one that look much cooler day by day.”

“Am I?” Yongguk smirked, taking his word as a joke.

“Yeah,” Yoseob nodded. “It will be much nicer if we didn’t have to be on the same class with the others.”

Yongguk looked at him, wondering. “Why?”

“It will hit the jackpot if we’re got mixed into 1-4 instead,” he leant closer to Yongguk before whispering, “so I can see Eunji everday.”

Yongguk gave a brittle laugh, not really sure how to react towards his ambition. He wasn’t interested in such thing to begin with.

“And here’s the backward coming,” Yoseob looked into the front class, making Yongguk followed his gaze later.

It was Song Jieun walking inside the classroom with her only best friend Jung Hana by her side. She was, as usual, wordlessly taking a seat on the third row from the front meanwhile Hana kept talking even after receiving no responds from the latter. No differences from last year.

“She’s pretty, right?” Yoseob teased, after a moment Yongguk stared at Jieun’s back.

Yongguk pulled his gaze away, but didn’t show any nervousness like what Yoseob wished for. “I must admit yes.”

“Of course she’s always pretty for you,” Yoseob giggled, but slowly stopped when Yongguk turned to look at him.

“It’s not that kind of feeling, you know,” he explained, again and again.

“Well, alright,” Yoseob finally decided to give up rather than ruining his best friend’s day. “Hey, you haven’t comeback to your house, right?”

Yongguk shook his head. It had been a month since he left his mother yet talking about it still made him somewhat unhappy.

“Then—” Yoseob paused for a short while, wondering whether to ask or not before finally decided, “where do you live now?”

Before Yongguk could answer him, the teacher had already entered the class while forcing the students to get into their own seat and be quiet. Yoseob eventually moved back into his seat, leaving his own question unanswered.

“Okay, class. I’m going to re-arrange the seats,” the form teacher, known as Mr. Park, announced while placing his books on the desk.

Yongguk collected back his stuffs with no complains yet actually, he thought that kind of seating arrangement was so distracting. And pointless. But what else could he possibly do than follow the instruction?

And it was the time he looked at Jieun again. He wanted to know how would that girl react towards these burdensome thing, considering she was more likely a quiet and into-her-own-world type. He watched her taking the paper and unfolded it, didn’t really show such happy or upset expression until Hana leant closer to read the number and cried in disappoint.

Yongguk took it as a sign that they were finally separated, after such three years sticked as seatmate. And even though he felt weird to have that kind of feeling—he was a little worry about her being with other seatmate than Hana. Maybe because he couldn’t stand seeing her alone and spreading dark atmosphere around or it was only a sympathy because they had been classmates since long time ago—he didn’t really understand the reason too.

“Let’s take ours,” Yoseob tapped Yongguk’s shoulder, making that guy looked away from Jieun and walked to the teacher’s desk.

Putting no efforts at all, Yongguk just randomly took the highest piece from inside the bowl just so he could quickly got his seat. He unfolded the paper and found number nine was badly written there, after such a short moment of confusion whether it was six or nine.

“You’re nine? Hey, I’m ten!” Yoseob cheered a loud hoo-ray after taking a look on his paper.

It was a real good luck, Yongguk thought.

He turned around and aiming to search for his chair when he saw who was the person that became his seatmate.

It was Song Jieun.

Great. Just great.

Without saying anything, Yongguk walked to where his seat placed on and dragged the chair as loud as he could to earn her attention.

And she really did.

Jieun turned to look at him, showing her signature expressionless face of course but Yongguk stunned on his position for a short while as he stared at her face. She was indeed really beautiful—he never really realized it before. She had such dark brown eyes, small pointed nose and way too flawless skin. He never saw any girls like her before.

“Uh, it’s you,” he said, a little hesitant.

He must had already expect it to receive no response from her but it still caused him to feel the bitterness somehow. In the other hand, she just continued observing his face, even after he looked away and pretend didn’t say anything at the first place which was a little confusing for him.

Did she doesn’t hear him before? Should he talk to her again? What if she didn’t know who he was?

“Whoa, you’re next to her!” Yoseob loudly whispered, while lightly punching the taller’s arm.

“What the hell? Shut up,” Yongguk hissed, feeling annoyed to have faced Yoseob’s childish act in such situation.

“But you still can’t talk to her, right? She’s a stone!” Yoseob giggled, ignoring how crumpled Yongguk’s face had become.

“Don’t talk like that,” Yongguk silently warned from his lips movement, hoping the latter would understand and stop talking.

Yoseob shrugged, still with a mean smile attached on his face yet he listened to him and stopped his unnecessary teasing. Meanwhile, Yongguk thought he would never be able to talk to her again next time. He just didn’t think he could get along with her personality and the way she looked at him wasn’t something that would give him pleasure as well. He believed that girl prefer silence and being alone than to befriend with someone like him.

He was too fond with his own conclusion that time.

It had been more than a month since Yongguk lived at a small room in a bar where he worked at and paid half of his salary as the rent cost.

The room must not that comfortable to live at considering the loudness that came from downstair every night and he couldn’t really stand the look from other customers whose wondering who he was. But he felt much happy living there than with his mother afterall. He realized it sounds hurtful but it was the truth. He couldn’t deny it.

Until that day, he saw his mother sat on the lounge alone.

“She’s looking for you,” the owner told him when Yongguk just stood there, staring at his mother from afar.

Yongguk took a deep breath, knowing he had to face her sooner or later. Moreover it seemed to be a serious matter that she decided to come there alone.

After preparing his mind and heart, he slowly walked into the lounge and sat across her, still saying nothing and keep avoiding her gaze. He didn’t know what to say or what to do when they were trapped in such uncomfortable silence. He knew his mother might still trying to fight back her tears and he should be the one that greet her first yet when he finally looked at her—there’s no any expressions drawn on her face.

She just blankly stared at him, through her pair of tired eyes where Yongguk realized she got dark circles probably due to lack of sleep. Or continuous crying.

“I’m not going to apologize,” she told him, straightforwardly.

Yongguk kept his lips tightly closed, waiting for her to finish her point first.

“And I know you have the same personality as me,” she continued, let out a soft chuckle in the end of the word.

He didn’t like to hear it but he knew it was true. They were actually the same. Too similar that they ended up hating each other and holding on their own ego instead. Yes, he had to admit it.

“So, let’s just end this cycle,” she said, taking out two small bottles from her handbag and put one in front of him. “Let’s end it here.”

Yongguk tried to read the label even though they were too small and not really surprise to find out his suspection was right.

“You’re not going to forgive me and always want to be with your father while I don’t want to live with so much regrets and loans behind me,” she muttered, slowly opening the bottle with both eyes still fixed on Yongguk’s face. “So let’s just end this together. Now.”

No.

It’s not what Yongguk wanted to happen.

He didn’t like her but it wasn’t as much as he wanted her to keep alive, to be happy after every suffers that she went through. He was mad with her greediness to marry someone with dark past just for the sake of his wealth, not for her happiness.

That’s why.

Right before her lips met with the bottle, Yongguk pulled her hand away, forcing her to look at his eyes.

And forcing his ownself to accept her back.

“Let’s go home.”