Eunjung’s P.O.V.

Life can be a when you least expect it.

And it was a on PMS three days ago when I plainly found that my life, isn’t my life anymore.  Talk about a bad day. Usually when you were being rejected by someone, you cry your heart out, curse him and move on. Find someone else, start fresh. Not marry the guy in less than two days’ time.

The story of my life.

Today was supposed to be the wedding rehearsal. So all of us had gathered here in this big chapel that Taecyeon’s parents got married in when they were young. I was sitting in the dressing room looking at the wedding dress that I had bought a few days ago with Jihyen. It was an ivory, one shoulder Garza wedding dress, custom made for me by Vera Wang herself. It had a dramatically draped corset bodice with crystal corsage detail around the waist and full Garza cage over satin skirt that falls down elegantly into a sweeping train. This was matched with a pair of silver high heels which has the same corsage details as the dress.

It was so beautiful that I felt like crying.

God, my head is a ing mess and my heart is going on an overdrive. The very thought of this wedding was giving me jitters. There is only one thing that could help me overcome my nervousness right now.

Alcohol.

There was a bottle of imported vodka placed on the make-up counter, Jihyen told me that I might need a quick sip before facing the entire shenanigans – well, at least she needed it on her wedding rehersal and d-day. I felt numb and dazed as I took my first sip of the alcohol. The sweet rich taste of vodka slid down the back of my throat, leaving behind a tingling sense.

God, that felt nice. Maybe I should get another one.

One leads to two and two leads to four. What can I say, I feel like less than a pocket mint right now.

I staggered hastily into my wedding gown. I put it on and sat back quietly in front of the mirror, looking at myself and trying to decipher what I was feeling at the moment.

Empty. That’s it. Just very much empty.

Have you ever felt like this? Have you ever held something that meant…everything to you? Maybe you caught a home run ball as it flew over the fence? Or looked at a picture of yourself from some sweet, unforgettable time? Maybe your mother gave you something that belonged to your grandma’s grandmother? Whatever it is – you look at it and swear you’ll keep it forever. Because it’s that special. Precious.

Irreplaceable.

And then one day – you don’t know how or when it happened – you realized it’s gone.

Lost.

And you ached for it. You’d give anything to find it again. To have it back with you, where it was always supposed to be.

I closed my eyes as my tears were threatening to fall down.

“Gather yourself Eunjung-ah. Everything will be alright.” I had to pretend to be a hard-. Granite. Impenetrable by such things. Ask anyone who survived an earthquake at midnight, or a house fire that wipes out everything that matters. Unexpected devastation changes you.

Forever.

Knock, knock, knock….

I really wanted to say ‘GET LOST’ but I was worried that it might be Jihyen or Taecyeon’s mother. So instead I asked whoever it was to come in. Turns out it was Nichkhun.

He walked towards with a sweet smile. “You look beautiful.” He said.

I could only manage a weak smile. “Yeah, thanks I guess.”

“Are you drunk?”

“A little bit.” He looked at me skeptically. “Okay, maybe more than a little bit.”

He looked at me with comprehension mixed with contemplation. “You okay?”

I wanted to say no. Really – I did. But I came to realize how pathetic I was. So I took the less painful path.

I lied.

“I’m fine.” I displayed a fake smile. But when I looked at him, I knew instantly that he bought none of my lies. Well, he’s just too smart for that. And nice. A rare combo. Why didn’t my darned heart fall for him instead.

He pulled me into his arm and I felt relaxed. Almost relieved. So this is how it feels to have a brother. I’ve alway