Things started to calm down yet again which only means that something is going to happen. I wake up early on Saturday and usually I would be heading to the either the studio or to SM’s studio, but today I am heading to SM for a different reason. Today is the Intern MT weekend. MT is another form of team building, but it is not held at the company. It is almost like an overnight sleep away camp for 2 days. I packed the night before and I skip to the kitchen excited for the trip. James is sitting at the table and eyes me with a concerned expression.

“Are you alright? You seem too chipper to be spending a whole weekend with Kyung Min.”

That was the only down side to the weekend. “I am excited to just be somewhere different. My therapist said that sometimes changing your location can re-energize you.” James didn’t want me to get a local therapist because Korea has more of an astigma towards mental health than in America. I was able to convince my therapist back at home to do some phone sessions and luckily my American insurance covered it so it won’t be on my records here in Korea.

“Well you have my number and I told Kyung Min a fake story so that you can keep your phone on you. So if anything happens get somewhere safe and call me. I am forever alone so my plans tonight are non-existent.”

“Yes mom I will.” After I grab some food and I give James a back hug. “Thanks for not telling my real mom about the little breakdown I had a couple weeks ago.”

“If you had the bad dream I would have, but I also know that there wouldn’t have been much that she could do here. And there is no use in stressing Mrs. Park out.”

After I eat my breakfast I put the dishes in the sink and I grab my bag from my room. “Guess it is time for me to go on my first trip in Korea alone. And no you don’t have to come with me and make sure that the kids are nice to me.”

James laughs at me and throws a towel in my direction. “Get out of here before I change my mind.”

I smile and head out onto the next mini adventure of my life. I make my way to SM as usual. I feel like if were to start sleeping walking I could make it to SM and back with doing a stop at the coffee shop. When I get close to SM I divert because we were told to meet at a different location. A sasaeng fan slipped into SM one day with a group of interns. To make sure no sasaeng sneak onto the trip we are meeting at a location that was decided last night. I arrive at the location and I see the biggest parking lot that I have seen in Korea and there is a giant bus with a banner on the side. I think to myself, well this is not subtle at all.

I walk towards the bus and Hyun Ah waves to me. “Eun Mi!” She runs over to me and we greet with a hug and we both jump around in a circle. Even though she is an intern I haven’t been able to hang out with her much. And when she’s been wanting to hang out I have to call my therapist and I don’t want her to think of me differently. Hyun Ah grabs my bag and walks arm and arm with me to the bus. “Did you sleep last night? Because I could barely sleep. I am so excited for this trip.”

“I surprisingly got a good amount of sleep. My mentor has been working me so hard.”

“Really?”

I nodded and tried to look sad. “I also had a lot of homework to do. I’m going to have to do some of it on the trip too.”

“Poor eonnie.” Hyun Ah hugs me and pats my head. “You better not get sick. I would be so sad if you got sick.” I smile and hug her back.

“Don’t worry I won’t get sick. Nothing can get me down.” I put my bag under the bus and wait around with the other interns. I look at the bus and I think to myself that the bus is a tad too big for it to be just for us. Maybe there were no smaller buses to rent. Hyun Ah and I got onto the bus and of course we decided to sit next to each other and we were talking about what we were excited for on the trip. With the bus about half full Kyung Min comes on the bus and he looks like he is about to lead a safari.

“Good morning everyone. I trust that everyone got enough sleep last night.” There were a lot of groans to be heard. “Splendid. Now we are actually going to be doing something a little bit different today. Everyone needs to be in their own seat and the seat next to them needs to be empty.” He looks over at Hyun Ah and me. “Especially you two need to split up.” We both cling to each other for a moment before Hyun Ah moves since she was already sitting in the aisle. Everyone else moves until the bus was full with everyone sitting with a seat empty next to them. “So turns out that there is another group in the company going on a MT retreat as well. Their leader and I decided that it would be a good idea to have employees from different departments mingle and get to know each other.” Everyone was whispering to either the person in front of them or behind them wondering what department was going on the trip.

“Marketing?”

“No, they’re busy with promotions right now.”

“Human Resources?”

“No, I heard they did theirs last month.”

Kyung Min calmed everyone down with a blow of a whistle. “Now the other department will be coming on the bus soon and they will pick who they want to sit with. They will have their own activities at the site, but we will do some department versus interns competitions.” I was getting more and more excited for this trip. Kyung Min turned around and looked outside the bus. “Looks like the first few have arrived. Stay in your seats.” Kyung Min got out of the bus and the people who were on the right side of the bus looked out the windows.

“Oh my god! Is that Taeyong?”

“What about Johnny? Is that really him?” Johnny? I see Hyun Ah looking out the window. was opened and I swore I saw a fly go in and out of it. I am going to take that as a yes then. I look down at the front of the bus and I see that Johnny is the first one to get on. We make eye contact and he waves his hand to me. Everyone turns the head so quick and sees me waving back at him gingerly. Without a second Johnny walks to my seat and sits next to me.

“Hey Mimi. I didn’t know the interns were going on their trip too.”

“Yeah I had no idea the trainees were going on theirs too.”

“Well at least I know 1 person from the other group.” We heard someone close by clearing their throat. I look over and say Hyun Ah.

“Don’t forget about my friend Hyun Ah.”

Johnny looked over and smiled. “Oh right you were from the barbecue.” There was silence and she just stared at him with a smile and open. “Okay then.” I look over and see a younger boy sit next to Hyun Ah. “Hey Mark. This is my friend Mimi. She is also from the states.”

The younger boy slightly bowed to me and smiled. “Oh so you’re Johnny’s secret friend?”

“Secret friend?”

“Yeah Johnny is always talking about a friend that works at the company, but never mentions their name ever.”

“Cause I knew you guys would take it the wrong way.”

“Well we would probably just tease you. I mean we are all brothers after all.” They push each other and someone walks in between them and tries to stop them.

“Come on guys. We haven’t left the parking lot yet and you’re already trying to destroy everything.”

“Sorry Taeil hyung. We will try harder.” Once the boy name Taeil walks away Mark and Johnny beginning hitting each other again. I remember James and I acting like this sometimes. Once everyone got on the bus Kyung Min got on and asked everyone to settle down.

“We are about to head off on a fun weekend together. Before you guys leave this bus we want you guys to have 3 facts about the person next to you. We want there to be unity in this company so even though traditionally interns are looked at as lower than the trainees. We want you guys to forget about that and look at each other as equals for the day. Have fun bonding with each other.” As he sat down the bus started moving and everyone started cheering.

Johnny looked over at me. “Lets see. I already know a lot about you. You are from LA. You are James hyung’s intern. And you once told Chanyeol his song sounded like -” I covered his mouth. No one knows about that night except for those who were in the room.

“Dude!” Johnny nods and I remove my hand. “Lets think about some different facts that we can tell to our leaders later.”

“Like what?”

I thought for a moment. “Well I am an only child.”

“Me too.” Johnny thought for a moment. “When I first came to Korea I was all alone. My family couldn’t afford to come with me.”

“What? How old were you?”

“I was about 13.”

My eyes went wide, “13 and you were living on your own in a country that wasn’t your home country?”

“Well I would come to visit a lot since My mom’s side of the family is still here. So Korea always felt like a second home for me. Now tell me your second fact.”

“Well, I am currently in college and taking classes online.”

“I already knew that. I can use that for my leader though. Okay third fact.”

“But I just gave you a fact it’s your turn.”

“Yeah, but I already knew that fact.” He put his knees up and rested his chin on top.

I tried to think, but everything I was thinking of was too deep for a little get to know each other game. “Back at home I have a dog name chichi, she’s a little white poodle.”

Johnny’s eyes grew twice the normal size. “A dog?! Why haven’t you shown me pictures of her?”

“The subject never came up.”

“Well come on let me see the pictures.” I unlock my phone and started scrolling through the pictures until I got to the most recent pictures that my mom sent to me. I handed the phone to Johnny and his lip started quivering. “She is so cute. I wish you were able to bring her here to Korea. I would love to help you take care of her and visit her. And then play with her.”

“Geez you don’t even visit me now. Are you trying to tell me that you would only visit me if I had a dog.”

“No, but it would probably be easier to visit if you had a dog. James probably wouldn’t mind if I came over if it was for the dog.” At that moment I was really happy that most people on this bus don’t understand English and that most of them also don’t know that BD’s real name is James.

“Well you can come and visit whenever you want. Just make sure it’s not at like 3 in the morning. I wouldn’t like that either.”

“Okay deal.”

“Now I need 1 more fact about you.”

“Hmmmm my favorite quote is ‘To do and regret, rather than not to do and regret.’”

“I like that. It’s almost like carpe diem. Seize the day. Don’t let anything hold you back from doing what you want to do.”

“Yep. And that was fact number 3. Looks like we got enough facts.”

“Cool, and I hope you don’t mind but I do need to do some homework.”

“Homework? Need some help.”

“Not sure if you can help, but you can try.”

I got my workbooks out and started working on some math problems. I decided to take some core classes during this semester so that I can focus on the classes specific to my degree when I get back home. As I was working on a problem I glanced at Johnny and his face was stunned. I chuckle a little and he took notice.

“What level of Math are you taking?”

“I’m taking Calculus.”

“Calculus?! What for?”

“Because I already got rid of Stats because of an AP course I took in high school.”

“Well I won’t be much of help to you here. I have no idea how to get a cos to tan.” I laugh at his ridiculousness. “If you need help with anything else don’t hesitate to ask. And then I will just prove to you how much I don’t know.”

“I will keep that in mind.” I started working on my homework, but after about 30 minutes I was starting to feel a little bit of motion sickness from the driving. So I put away my homework and lean my head against the seat.

“Are you feeling okay?” I nod my head.

“Just a tad motion sick. I’ll be fine.” I opened my eyes and looked out the window. It was already starting to help. I heard Johnny ping something and he taps my shoulder. I turn and I see he is holding a patch.

“It’s for motion sickness. Thought you might need it.”

“You predicted I was going to feel sick.”

“Oh no! I have an emergency kit with me for every trip. I just meant that since you are feeling motion sickness that this patch would help.”

I smile and take the patch. “Thanks Johnny. You’re always prepared.”

Johnny smiled and little as he puts his kit away. “Well I try to be at least.” I could also see a little shade of pink on his cheeks. Is he blushing? Why would he be blushing? I snap out of it and put the patch behind my ear and look out the window. As I was thinking about it, a thought crossed my mind. ‘Does Johnny like me?’ I mentally shook my head. ‘There is no way he can like me. We are just friends. I haven’t done anything that would make him like me. I mean I was nice to him, but I am nice to most people. And I mean he is a trainee. He is going to be an idol soon. He can’t like me. He needs to focus on becoming an idol. If he confesses you just need to turn him down and you need to set stricter boundaries. That is all you have to do. And even if he hates you it doesn’t matter since you will be gone in a few months and he will forget all about you.’ I nod to myself and I keep playing different scenarios and how I would or should reply to him. After thinking for a while a hand waved in front of my face. I look over and see Johnny looking at me.

“Are you okay?”

I smile and nod. “I am fine. I was just daydreaming about how the weekend is going to be.”

“I am also excited for this weekend, but when it comes to the time when it’s trainees versus interns. You guys are going down.” He squinted his face while doing a thumbs down. I couldn’t help, but laugh and lightly push him away.

“Eww that face looks gross.”

“This face?” He scrunch his face more and tried to get closer.

“Eww~ yes!” Johnny stopped moving closer and I looked behind him and someone had their hand on his shoulder.

“Stop teasing this poor girl. Also don’t give people the wrong idea hyung.”

“Oh sorry Taeyong-ah. I guess I got carried away.” Johnny leaned away. “Sorry Mimi.”

“No it’s okay.” Taeyong left and went back to his seat.

“Don’t worry about Taeyong. He is just looking after me.”

“I understand, but wait is he younger than you?”

Johnny scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah he is. But he’s been through a lot in his life. So he tries to comfort people and is always giving advice. Rumors are going around that he is going to be the leader of the new boy group. If he is that’s great. He really deserves it.”

“Why wouldn’t it be you?”

“I’ve been at SM so long that it would seem like the natural choice. But I’m also not leader material. I don’t get angry that often and I don’t think people would take me seriously.”

“Well as long as you debut that’s all that matters.” The bus started to slow down and when I look out the window I see hill after hill. We must be getting close to the site. I look over to the other side and there are 2 hug house like structures and I assume that this is where we are staying for the night time. I heard a whistle and I look up to see Kyung Min standing.

“We have arrived. Once you are off the bus get your bag and make your way to your rooms. The building to the left is the trainees house. The building on the right is the interns house. For both houses the second floor is the girl’s floor and the third floor is for the boys. You guys have half an hour to get settle in. We will see you then.” Everyone got off the bus and Johnny and I had to say goodbye for a while. The next time we see each other we will be going against each other in competition.

 

The rest of the day is what you would expect from an MT. We did little mini games and we laugh a lot. Especially during the pie eating contest, Hyun Ah looked ridiculous in a good way. When it came time for lunch we also joined the trainees. Johnny made eye contact and started moving towards me.

Kyung Min blew his whistle. “For lunch sit next to someone from the opposite group that you don’t know.” Johnny sighed and looked a little annoyed.

He smiled and whispered. “I can still sit across from you though.” A feeling rush over my body and I don’t know what it is. I shake it off and go and get my food. I look around and see Mark from earlier. I go up and before I get there I see he is partnered with someone else. As I continue to look around I feel a tap on my shoulder I turn around and see Taeyong.

“Mind being my lunch partner?”

I shake my head. “I don't mind at all.”

“Great.” We walked over to an empty table and we are alone for only a few seconds before Johnny sits in front of me with another intern that I've only seen at the orientation.

“Hey guys can we join you?”

“Well you're already sitting so might as well.” I felt a little bit of tension between Taeyong and Johnny.

I clear my throat. “So what did you guys do?”

“We did a few games. Johnny isn't really good at basketball.” Taeyong smirks.

“The ball was too small. We used a small plastic basketball.”

“How does that bounce? For dribbling.”

“It doesn't. We were moving around on scooters. It was kind of tricky.”

“Sounds like you guys had a fun time.” We ate for a bit and it was silence. Usually when it's quiet because people are eating it's just comfortable silence. This was an awkward and tense silence. A silence that anyone that looked over could feel. If this was an anime our table would have a black smoke cloud around it with lightning shooting.

“Should we exchange facts about each other?” I look and see Taeyong smiling at me. He is really handsome, but he's the kind of handsome that draws people in and people like him only for his looks. He's handsome, but totally out of my league. No reason to fantasize over something like that.

“Yeah sure. I guess I'll go first. Ummm I am born and raised in California.”

“Cool so you obviously know English. I guess that's why Johnny likes talking to you. So he can keep his English skills.” Johnny side glared at Taeyong. “My fun fact is one of my favorite movies is Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Really? I love that movie too.”

“It is such a classic.”

Before we could continue with our conversation the sound of the whistle blowing pierced our ears. “Lunch is over. Make your way to the front lawn where the games shall commence.”

“I guess we will have to resume this another time.”

“Yeah that will be cool.”

As we walk over Johnny holds me back so we are farther from everyone else. “What's up with you?”

“Why were you flirting with him?” Was Johnny jealous of Taeyong.

“It was not flirting with him. I don't even like him that way. And who are you to even judge me on who I flirt with?”

“So you were flirting.”

“Did what I said earlier not get through your luscious hair. I am not into him that way.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really. Sure he's good looking, but if there is nothing beyond that and if there is no connection on both sides the relationship is doomed.”

“Well what if he was interested in you.” I start laughing my head off.

“No way in hell that would happen.”

“Why?”

“I got friend zoned the moment he said hello.”

“How can you tell?”

“His body language and the way he talked to me. He didn't lean in close when he asked me the questions. And if he was interested after I said I was from California he would've slipped in a question about if I had a boyfriend back home.”

“Well, do you?”

“No I don't.” He really does have a crush on me. This is going to be interesting.

“Eun Mi stop being in cahoots with the enemy. Get over here.” Kyung Min looks a little extra scary this time.

“See ya.” I run over to my group and we start talking strategy. Once we finish Hyun Ah tugs on my arm.

“What was that about?”

“What? With Johnny?”

“Yeah everyone thinks you guys are a thing.”

“No. No. Nope. Nah uh. Nothing. He's just my first friend here. I'm closer to him than anyone at the company.” That's a lie, James is, but we won't mention that. “Plus he is a trainee meaning he is going to be an idol. I wouldn't want to get tangled up in that.”

“Okay, just maybe set some stricter boundaries. I don't like that people are talking about you in a negative light.”

“Well if they have anything to say, they should just tell me to my face.” I said that a little bit louder than the rest of our conversation and a couple of heads turned. So those are the people that are talking about me. I think I know who the ring leader is as I see the girl who sat with me at lunch make eye contact.

“Ya! Are you trying to start a fight.”

“Come on. Like any of them have the balls to say anything to me? And don't worry I play my cards when the time is right.” I walk away and get into the formation before Hyun Ah could say anything. While we were playing soccer I got the ball and started heading to the goal. Mark was standing at the goal waiting. Before I could get there I felt a sharp pain in my leg. In a blink of an eye I was down on the ground holding my leg. When I look up I see the girl with the death glare.

“Oops. Should have watched where you were going.” I bite my tongue wanting to curse her out so much.

“Mimi!” Johnny runs over and helps me up. “I will bring you to the first aid station.” Johnny glares at the girl as we make our way to the station. I see that there are eyes burning holes through my clothes. Everyone whispering and making assumptions. This is not what I wanted. This is the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted to just blend in and not be noticed by anyone. I just wanted to do a good job and get some credits in for school. I hold in my tears all the way to the first aid station.

We get to the room and the nurse turns around and sees us. “Playing rough?”

“Something like that.” Johnny helped me onto the small bed there.

“Let me see.” She kneels down. “Now where did you get hit?”

“I don't know. I didn't see it coming.”

“Okay.” She starts lightly touching my leg and when she gets near my knee the pain comes back.

“Oww.”

“So there. Can you flex your leg for me?” I move my leg and there is pain when I move it, but it is moving. “Okay so we can rule out a fracture since you are still able to move it. The bone probably shifted and collided with the other one. The joint looks slightly swollen, but swollen enough to indicate serious damage. I recommend ice, lots of ice. Try not to move it too much. I suggest using crutches for at most 5 days. If you have a doctor where you are I would also suggest going to see them just to confirm my findings. I will put some cooling herbal patches on your knee and wrap it up so it stays in place. I need to get some more gauze. Just hang tight.” The nurse left and it was just Johnny and me.

“You can go back to the group.”

“No I'm staying with you.”

“Johnny please go back. I can take care of myself.”

“But I want to take care of you.”

“You are not my dad. You are not my brother. You are not my boyfriend. So please just go back to the group. I don't want them talking about us anymore than they are.”

“What do you mean by that?

“All the interns think we are dating. That girl kicked me because she thought we were going out. So please do me a favor and go back.” Tears start streaming down my face. Johnny was silent and looked like he was contemplating his next move.

“Okay. I'll get going.” He walks to the door. “I will let Kyung Min know how you are doing.” After he sighs sadly he leaves and my tears fall faster. How could this have happened. How could anyone think that we were together? I wipe my tears away and grab my phone. I dial James’ number and try to control my breathing.

“Eun Mi are you alright?” I think to myself don't cry.

“I'm alright. I was playing roughly and hurt my leg.”

“Oh my God are you serious? Do you need me to get you?”

“No, I just might need a ride home tomorrow. The nurse says I need to use crutches to get around.”

“Yeah just let me know when and where. And I'll phone my doctor so you can get checked out when you get back.”

“Thank you James. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Hey you're my little sister. Of course I'm going to look out for you. I'll see you tomorrow. And don't get in trouble. Understood?”

“I got it.”

“Okay.” He hangs up and I put my phone away when the nurse walks in.

“Where did your boyfriend go?”

“He's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend. I sent him back to the group.”

She starts wrapping me up. “Well the way he was looking at you I would think he is your boyfriend. But I guess he just cares about you a lot.”

“I guess.”

“Do you care about him?”

“I think our definitions of care is different.”

“Well I'm just a nurse that you just met, but I don't see the harm in giving him a chance. Think about it.” She stands up and hands me the crutches. “Be careful for the rest of your stay.”

“Will do. And thanks for the advice.” I am not going to take it, but I know that's what she wants to hear. I get up from the bed and start walking back to the group.

 

When I get closer it looks like Johnny told them about my condition. Kyung Min has a chair waiting for me. I make eye contact with him and he just looks at the chair. I hobble over to it and sit down.

“Don’t worry we punished Hye Soo. She is in charge of all the cores for the rest of the trip.” He sits next to me. “It’s one thing if you don’t like someone, but violence is not tolerated. I hope you’re doing okay.”

“I am. Thank you for caring. I will try better in the future to avoid this. I don’t want to make you or anyone else worry about me.”

“I was surprise to see Johnny come back without you. I almost expected him to say you were going to the hospital.”

“I called BD to let him know I might need some time off to see a doctor. He offered to drive me home tomorrow.”

“What’s the story between you guys?”

“What do you mean? He is just my mentor.”

“Yeah, but he never acts like this to anyone.”

“Well I got to his alma mater. That might be it. My T.A. spoke highly of him.”

“I guess he liked her or, you know who knows.” We sit in silence as we watch the game. It ends with the trainees wining and everyone looks happy except Johnny. Hyun Ah comes over once the game is over.

“Are you okay Eun Mi eonnie? I was so worried.”

“Sorry for making you worry. I’m fine.”

“I told you, you were picking a fight by talking so loudly. What am I going to do with you?”

“You’ll have to get use to it.”

“Well if you need help I am there for you.”

“Thank you, but I want to try on my own. I you can’t be with me all the time.”

“True, but at least while I’m here I’ll help you out.”

“Okay.” My ears begin to ring after Kyung Min blows his whistle. He sure loves that thing.

“Time for free time until dinner. Dinner will be with your respective groups. All of us will meet again in the morning for a final activity. Tonight each group is going to have a bonfire. It will be a time to reflect and also announce your goals for the rest of the year. So go and have fun.” Hyun Ah helps me up and I use the crutches to get to the temporary quarters. We reach the stairs and I groan. “Johnny moved your things down here.” Kyung Min walked behind us. “Your room is to the right.”

“Thanks Kyung Min.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank Johnny.” He walks to the left into his own room.

“You are so lucky that you get your own room.”

“Maybe you can sneak away and we’ll share the bed.”

“Deal.” We get in and I have a proper bed. Unlike the mats that were upstairs. “Is it okay if I hang out with you?”

“Of course. I’m not going to kick you out.” The rest of the day was uneventful. The girl who kicked me who I assume is Hye Soo, just looked at me and her friends joined in the stare. “I am feeling the love.” Hyun Ah and I rolled our eyes and continue to eat. When we finished we went to the bonfire. Out in the distance we could see another fire which should be the trainees’ fire. Most people’s goals were to get good grades, get into a good school, and health. When it got to me I said, “I hope I go back home with all of my bones.” Some people liked the joke. Others not so much. I told Hyun Ah that I want to call my mom so she let me be alone. When I got to my room and called my mom I didn’t mention the leg thing, but I only told her the good things. I hear a knock on my door. “Okay I think my friend Hyun Ah is here. I love you mom. Bye.” I hang up and wobble my way to the door. “Thought I told you I would call you when I’m-” I didn’t finish my sentence. It wasn’t Hyun Ah at the door. It was Johnny.

“Not expecting me?”

“Umm no. Hyun Ah  was coming over later. I was talking to my mom on the phone.”

“May I come in? Wouldn’t want someone to see me out here. You know how rumors spread.” He sounded irritated.

“Yeah come in.” I move over and he comes in and closes the door.

“How’s your leg feeling?”

“The pain is constant, but bearable.”

“Glad you’re doing alright.” We stand in silence for a few seconds.

“I feel like you have something on your mind. So just say it.”

Johnny takes a deep breathe, “I have only known you for a month and I feel like I’ve known you for my entire life. You make me smile, you make me laugh and I feel like I can be myself around you. I felt a connection between us. But for a while I thought you felt the same. Until today when you lashed out at me. I just want to know something. What are your feelings towards me?”

I bit my lip and sat on the bed. “I am grateful you were my first friend in Korea. I feel comfortable around you too. You’re like a little slice of home for me. But I don’t see you beyond a really good friend.”

Johnny stood quiet for what seems like minutes. “Is it because you like someone else?”

“No. There is no one I’m interested in.”

“Not even James hyung?”

“Especially not James. Do you think that just because I’m not into you that mean I am into someone else?”

“I don’t know. You act so nice to me and when I see you do it to others I start to think. ‘Does she like them?’ ‘Would she be into a guy like that?’ It makes me jealous. I’ve never been jealous over someone before. I was told this is what love feels like.”

“Maybe you were just given bad advice. James is like that. Not to that extent, but back at home he was trying to pair me up with guys. So he would think those things.”

“I think you don’t get what I’m saying. I thought that way cause I want you to like me. To be into a guy like me.”

“Well I don’t. You can’t force someone to like you because you’re kind. You should be kind to be a good person. Look I am not the girl for you. But I promise you there will be a girl who will think you are her whole world. She will be with you for the good and bad. She will want you to herself and she will be there to make you stronger.”

“But that’s what you do for me now. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is I’m not in love with you. Can’t that be enough reason?”

“It just doesn’t seem plausible?”

“Why because you’re nice? Because you’re an SM trainee? What makes my feelings not plausible?”

“Why would me being a trainee have anything to do with it?”

“Answer my question first.”

“The way you treat me isn’t like how you treat others.”

“What do you mean? I’m nice to everyone. Me being nice doesn’t mean I’m in love with you.”

“Answer my question no. What does being a trainee have to do with it?”

“Some people might think they are hot just cause they are a trainee at a big company. It can inflate their ego.”

“Is that how you think of me?”

“No. But you thinking I like you just because I’m nice to you is a move.”

“So I’m a now?”

“No, but you’re acting like it.”

“You know what, fine! I’ll be a and you won’t have to deal with me ever again. I’m out.” He swings the door open and slams it shut. I pray that Kyung Min is not in his room. I lay down and start sobbing into my pillow. How can someone be so nice, but so mean at the same time? Once I calm down I text Hyun Ah saying I’m too tired to hang out. She understands and hopes that my leg was feeling better.

 

Next day I wake up feeling horrible. The activities go as plan and Johnny doesn’t even look in my direction. You could tell there was tension between us. Even Hyun Ah asked if everything was alright between us. I told her that I would explain things later. When I get on the bus Johnny was sitting with someone else. I look for an empty seat.

“There is an open seat here.” I look and see Taeyong. I sit down and don’t look back to see if Johnny is looking. I can feel his eyes burning holes in my shirt. “How are you feeling today?”

“I’m okay. The leg isn’t that bad today.”

“So why do you look sad?”

“I had a fight with my friend over the phone. I don’t think we’re friends anymore.”

“Well if they are a true friend things will work out. Who would end a friendship over one fight?” I nod and just sit there. “I’ll cheer you on noona.” I look over and Taeyong gave a small smile while holding his fist up. Taeyong might like to look big and tough, but he does have a soft side. For the rest of the bus ride it is not exciting. Everyone is talking to their new friends and Taeyong once in awhile makes a comment about something outside. Before I got on the bus I told James where we would be meeting up and when we should be getting there. When we arrive I see James leaning against his car waiting for me like a dad trying to be cool. “Why is BD hyung here?”

“He’s my mentor. I told him about my leg and he offered to drive me back to my apartment instead of taking the subway.”

“Wow really?! That’s awfully nice of him.” I make a mental not to ask him why everyone is so surprise that he is treating me nicely. When I get off the bus James is standing there already holding my bag.

“Hello my little cripple.”

“Do you really have to do that here?”

“Yep.” He starts walking over to his car. I slowly follow and I put the crutches in the back while I get into the front seat. “Did anything else happen on the trip?”

I put my seatbelt on and look over him. “Nothing much. Why you ask?”

“Johnny just didn’t look happy to see me there.”

“You saw?” James starts driving away.

“Who could miss it?”

“We got into a fight last night.”

“Did he touch you?”

“No we just yelled at each other. He told me that he likes me and I told me I don’t feel the same way. So he asked if I had feelings for anyone else like you.”

James was laughing so much that I thought he was going to swerve off the road. “That is ridiculous. You and me? No way.”

“Well he still doesn’t understand that I just don’t have the same feelings towards him as he does for me. He kept saying that I am different to him. That I am nice to him. I am nice to everyone. That doesn’t mean I want to date everyone.”

“Well I mean you are bi-ual.”

“Focus James.”

“I am. For Johnny he has been at SM for most of his life. He has been brainwashed that he shouldn’t be close with girls because it can lead to rumors and scandals. You’re the first girl he has been comfortable around. It is a great honor, but he also doesn’t know what it means to be just friends with a girl. He will come around. Just give him time.” I sigh and look out the window. “Well how about looking on the bright side. No mental breakdowns.”

I nod. “This is true. I did not fall apart.”

“Well not mentally. The crutches say something else.” If he wasn’t driving I would’ve pushed him. We arrive at the doctor’s office and the doctor said that the nurse’s initial findings were proven true. The bone shifted and turned when I got kick. He says normally it takes about 3 days of complete rest to set back in the right position. He also says I need to keep ice on it and to keep it elevated. As we leave James turns to me. “I guess you will have a lot of time to catch up on your homework.” I groaned, in reality this is a good thing. Since the drama happened I didn’t get the chance to work on my homework. Time to return to my life as a hermit.