Like I predicted Spring semester was a total bore. Nothing really happened at school. The usual campus life went on as normal. The clubs that always held parties had their parties. Life back home seems so ordinary compared to my last semester. Like I promised I stayed in touch with James, Johnny and Greg. James I can never get rid of even if I tried. Since I left he has gotten himself a new intern who clings to his side all the time. He sends me a message every day asking if I could come back. Johnny's presentation was incredible. NCT has released a few songs but Johnny hasn't been in any. Yet he has appeared in a lot of nct shows. I keep giving him encouragement as much as I can. Greg has been releasing hit after hit and he told me that a lot more of his songs will be coming out over the summer. I am very excited to hear how they turn out. I know exo will be making a comeback with the song Monster that I worked on last year. Speaking of EXO, they came to the states to perform back in February. James was able to get ahold of someone with EXO and got my friends and I tickets for the show. I haven't spoken to Chanyeol since I left Korea. With me switching my SIM card my number went back to normal so Chanyeol couldn't text me. We still have each others kakao, but we just haven't gotten the courage to message each other. We were gifted with backstage passes too per request from Suho I was told. My friends used them, but I just went back to the hotel room. I didn't really feel like seeing Chanyeol off stage. When he was doing his solo stage performance of “All of You” by John Legend I could swear that he was looking for me. This is just delusional of course, but it's nice to dream. I also didn't want to go back there because I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it. Seeing him again and being near him again. When I was at SM I was viewed as someone from the inside, but now that I am home I am now part of the outside. I am just a fan. Nothing more, nothing less. With summer starting I am excited to be doing absolutely nothing. No internships, no jobs just my friends and I at the beach and no worries. I finish the chores I have to do and head to my girl Stephanie's house. We are planning on going to the club and all the girls are getting ready at her house. Usually I'm the first one to say screw the club let’s stay in, but it's the first day of summer. I want to start it off right.

I arrive at Stephanie's place and it looks like a lot of people are already there. Of course I would be the last one to show up. Since Steph is like my long lost sister I just walk into the house and I was not expecting to hear what I heard. They were playing my demo for EXO’s song Monster.

“Mimi! Glad you're here have you listen to EXO’s new song? It is so good.”

“How did you even get that?”

“Oh it was “leaked”. It was probably a stunt by SM to get the song more attention. Mimi are you okay?”

“Th-That's the song I worked on last year. That's my voice.”

Everyone turns their head to me. “What?!”

*JAMES POV*

I am so jealous that Eun Mi has the whole summer off. No responsibilities and no worries. While here I am still doing the same old thing every day. Today seems like nothing is out of the ordinary and today should be a nice quiet day. I enter the building and greet the usual people and I head to my lair. Today will be the day that JinJu and I finally finish his full album.

“Good morning man.”

“Good morning bro. How is it that I beat you here?”

“I guess fate is on your side today.” The door swings open and it's Johnny panting away. “Johnny dude where's the fire?”

“The the.”

“The what? Spit it out.”

“The new EXO song. Leaked.”

“The new exo song got leaked?”

“Okay and? SM has done that several times.”

“Eun Mi is the vocalist.”

My blood started to boil. “What did you say?”

“She did the vocals with Greg last summer. Isn't this great. Maybe she can be an idol now. Hyung are you okay?” I got up and went into the studio next to mine. Sure enough Greg is sitting there with his laptop open with the leaked dance practice up.

“You!” I pull him and and push him against the wall. “How could you do this to Eun Mi?”

“Hey calm down will ya?”

“Hyung what are you doing?”

“James listen to Greg and calm down.”

“Calm down. Are you out of your mind?”

“Are you? What's your problem?” Greg squirmed.

“My problem is that Eun Mi my little sister has an anxiety disorder. Yeah I said it an anxiety disorder. And you giving the higher ups permission to leak the song could make her life a lot harder.”

“Wait she's your little sister?”

“Is that what you're focusing on? Do you not realized that you could be potentially the cause of someone's mental breakdown right now?”

“James ease up.” Jinju grabs me and pulls me away. Greg moves his shirt and brushes off his sleeves.

“Just know that I didn't mean no harm. Eun Mi has a beautiful voice. The world needs to hear it. And I mean look at the responses.”

I hesitantly walk over to his laptop and scroll through the page. Most of the comments are positive about her voice. The only negatives comments are is okay to listen to something that is leaked. “Still Eun Mi should've had a say in whether or not the song gets leaked. If she goes over the edge because of this I will hold you personally responsible.”

“Understood. And what should I tell my friends from different companies that want to know who she is?”

“They can look for talent elsewhere.”

“What if I gave them her information already?”

“You what?”

“My connections at JYP, FNC, even Cube wanted to give her a proposal.”

“To be an idol? Over my dead body.”

“Well it is not up to you now. If Eun Mi truly doesn't want to be an idol she will simply turn it down. Simple as that. Don't over think it too much. People will think you're going mental.” I storm out of the studio and go back into my own room.

“Hyung what are we going to do?” I turn around and see Johnny.

“There's nothing we can do, but offer support to her. Greg is the one that ed everything. She doesn't want fame. She doesn't want to be an idol. She always had bad feelings towards it.”

“But what if Greg is right. What if she decides to be an idol? What will you do for her then James.” Jinju looks at me seriously.

“I don't know. This is just all happening so fast. I mean I will always be there for her, but I don't know how she will handle trainee lifestyle.”

“I mean she has seen how it has effected me. But she also has a slight idea of what trainee life is like. She might want to give it a shot. Definitely not with SM, but I can picture her at like JYP.”

“You too Johnny?”

“I'm just playing Devils advocate. We need to look at our options.” The door opens and Chanyeol is huffing and puffing.

“We know Chanyeol.”

“What's the plan?”

“Well we don't know if Eun Mi knows yet. So right now we wait and hope for the best.”

“That's it? Nothing?”

“Everything was set up through SM. And since she wasn't signed on as an artist she has zero control whether the demo gets leaked or not.”

“This is crazy. How could Greg do that?”

“It's his song. And he thought he was doing her a favor.”

“What about her anxiety disorder?”

“He didn't know. She didn't want anyone to know.”

“I didn't even know and I thought I was her friend. How do you know Chanyeol?”

“She had an anxiety attack the night of James’ birthday. She doesn't remember having it.”

“Thank god. I wouldn't want that old wound reopened.”

“What wound?” asks Jinju.

“When she was 18 she got into a car accident. Her boyfriend at the time was the one hit by the other car. He didn't survive. She watch him die next to her. It haunts her to this day.”

“That's horrible.” sighs Johnny.

“Now if she gets really stressed out she slips into a panic attack where everything around her turns black and the accident replays again and again in her mind.”

“And she won't be able to move. That's what happened last time.” Says Chanyeol.

“she's been seeing a therapist, but I don't know if she has fully healed yet. I messaged her on the day of his passing and she said she was doing fine. Her mom said that she's been more active, but once in awhile she hits a slump.”

“Lets just hope that she is doing well and if she needs support we will be there.”

“All of us.” I look at Chanyeol.

“Don't look at me. She still hasn't talked to me since she left.”

“But you still care about her right?”

“Of course. I think about her every day.”

“Then man up and just talk to her. She thinks you're upset with her.”

“She's the one that ended things with me. I would assume that means she lost feelings for me.”

“You really are an idiot. She broke up with you to protect you.”

“You guys were going out!” exclaimed Johnny.

“No we weren't. We were just getting to know each other.”

“So you were predating then?”

“I guess, but it doesn't matter anyways. She ended things with me. She didn't even tell me she was leaving. Remember that?”

“Yes we remember you running into the airport just minutes after she got through security. We were there. I was the one that told you she was leaving.”

“You know what I have a comeback to focus on. Just keep me in the loop what's going on.”

“Will do. Don't over work yourself.”

“Don't worry I won't. See you guys later.” Chanyeol leaves and the room is quiet.

“I guess I will go too. I need to get back to practice. I'll message Eun Mi to see if she is alright.”

“Alright. We'll see you later.” Johnny leaves and it's just Jinju and me now.

“Should we get started finally?”

“In a moment. Can I just call Eun Mi quickly?”

“As long as the song gets done you can call her.”

“Okay.” I leave the room and go into the hallway. I pull up kakao and start calling her.

 

While everyone is bombarding me with questions I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pull out my phone and I see James name there.

“Is that exo?”

“No it's my brother. I'll be right back.” I step outside and answer the phone. “Hey James what's up?”

“Nothing much just calling to see how you are.”

“I'm great considering my friends are bombarding me with questions about exo.”

“So you know.”

“Yeah I know.”

“How are you dealing with it?”

“Okay. No one else knows it's me besides my friend and you guys at SM.”

“So you don't fully know yet.”

“Know what?”

“Greg’s connections at other companies have been asking about you and he gave them your information. You will probably be hearing from them soon.”

“To do what demo vocals?”

“To be an idol.” My heart stops for a brief moment.

“An idol? Me? Stop pulling my leg.”

“I'm being serious. They want you to be a trainee for them.”

“Who's them anyways?”

“JYP, FNC and Cube. Those are the ones I've heard of so far.” A smile spreads across my face.

“They really want me?”

“Well yeah, but Eun Mi think about it. Do you really want to become an idol? I mean you saw how crazy it was here last year. Do you want to be involved with that for the rest of your life?”

“I didn't think about that.”

“Whatever you choose I will be there for you no matter what.”

“Thanks James. I know I can always count on you.”

“Alright and if you end up coming out here to check out those places let me know. You can always crash at my place again.”

“Of course I will want to mooch off of you.”

“Talk to you later. Bye.” The phone clicks. I pull the phone away from my face and I see I have a message from Johnny.

“Hey I heard the demo leaked. If you need anyone to talk to I'm here for you.” I'm so glad I have people like Johnny and James on my side. And of course Chanyeol hasn't written anything to me. Why would he? He doesn't care about me anymore. Just as I expected. But why does it still hurt?