"Well, answer it!" Youngjae urged, dropping my hand as if suddenly aware of it. 

 

"I'm scared!" I admitted, staring at the screen.

 

"Dinah, nothing has ever stopped you from doing what you want. If you can't answer that phone, then you don't truly want Char," Youngjae said with a set jaw. He didn't want me to answer that phone, but he wanted me to do what made me happy. 

 

Nodding, I took one more look at the phone. I knew I would be hurting Youngjae, but I decided years ago that I wouldn't be with him. 

 

"Hello?" I sighed as I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

 

"Dinah, where are you?" Char's worried voice asked. 

 

"I may or may not be in Korea..." I trailed off when I caught the pain in Youngjae's face. Even after all these years, he didn't want me to go. 

 

"Korea?" Char asked again, beyond shocked. 

 

"Yeah. I kind of quit my job and flew here. I have a lot to talk to you about. I've decided to start my life here where I belong and if you can't agree to that then...yeah," I said, unable to finish my sentence. 

 

"Where are you staying? I'll fly over as soon as I can." Char's voice took on a determined tone. 

 

"I'm staying with Youngjae in his dorm," I said without thinking. 

 

"Youngjae?" His voice became tight as if holding himself back. 

 

"Yeah..." I drew the word out, biting my lip. 

 

"I'm coming now," he said before hanging up. 

 

I pulled my phone away from my ear and stared at it. Youngjae raised an eyebrow at me and I sighed in resignation. 

 

"He's coming," I said. 

 

"Well that's good, right?" Youngjae asked. 

 

"He's kinda mad at me, though." I sighed. 

 

"Why?" His brow furrowed. 

 

"I told him I'm staying with you. He knows about us..." I bit my lip nervously. 

 

"He doesn't have to worry, okay? And you don't either," Youngjae said, kissing the top of my head gently, "I'm not stealing anyone's fiancé."

 

I cringed at the pain in his voice. Why did he have to say it like that? With every word that came out of Youngjae's mouth, I felt worse and worse about leaving him behind and getting engaged. He knew I didn't like to be tied down to one person, but he just wanted me to be happy. He was willing to sacrifice his happiness to make sure I had the life I wanted. This whole time, I had just been selfish and thinking about myself. I could live a thousand times and still not deserve Youngjae. 

 

"Hey," Youngjae called, "don't fret it. It's been three years. I'm not gonna lose my best friend over something like love."

 

"Something like love. You make it sound like a disease." I scoffed, shaking my negative thoughts from my head. 

 

"Isn't it, though? It makes us hurt and suffer, but it continues to grow until it consumes us." Youngjae shrugged. 

 

"But when it consumes us, we become happy. Because when it consumes us, that means we're loved back." I smiled. 

 

"Have you been consumed?" Youngjae asked softly, but he seemed shocked that he had spoken. 

 

"I don't know." I sighed, looking at the setting sun. 

 

"Are you happy?" He asked. 

 

"I don't know."

 

 

sorry its super it's super short in in s

chool writing this.