Prolouge
Live-in NannyPrologue
You were literally kicked out of the house, with only the clothes on your back and your beautiful baby boy in your arms, “Eomma! Appa! Please!” you yelled trying to keep your baby warmed from the pouring rain. You kept yourself under the pediment waiting and waiting, hoping that they were just kidding. That’s exactly what you thought when they signed a contract to disown you, but no you were wrong… and you were also wrong about this.
You sighed and looked at the beautiful bundle of joy, rubbing your nose against his, “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” you whispered as you pulled out your phone, that you thankfully put in your pocket and dialed. You must have dialed dozens of numbers when one finally picked up, “Yeoboseyo?”
“M-Mi Kyong?”
“Ne. Naeun… is that you?”
“N-ne,” you closed your eyes hoping she won’t hang up. “I was about to call you… How are you?” You kept your eyes closed, because you knew that if you opened them, a waterfall will come out. “P-please…” you whispered and you heard a shuffle on the other line. “Naeun what’s wrong?”
“C-can you pick me up?” you asked trying your best not to stutter. “Ne, I’m coming now!”
A few minutes passed by, but it felt like hours as you Mi Kyong called you saying she’s here. You ran out passed the gate and quickly went into her car, trying to avoid the rain that was following you, “Yah! Where’s your umbrella?” Mi Kyong asked from the driver’s seat. You looked up at her, soaking wet, “P-please…” Mi Kyong looked at the baby in your arms and started driving to her apartment.
“Here go take a shower and change into these,” Mi Kyong said as she tossed a pair at you, while she grabbed to hold the baby; you looked at your child with sad eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m sure my unni left some of her baby’s clothes here and I’ll change…”
“It’s a him…” Mi Kyong nodded and was about to ask a question, but you already disappeared.
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You came out of the shower, eyes bloodshot, and walked to the living room to find Mi Kyong rocking your baby to sleep; you choked a sob as you walked over to them. “Your baby’s really cute… and so well behaved,” she said as she placed him in your arms. You nodded and sniffed as you hugged your baby, “Mi Kyong… What am I going to do?” you started to cry and Mi Kyong began to panic, “What’s wrong Naeun? What are you talking about?”
“M-my parents disowned me, all of my friends abandoned me, and even S-Sanduel left… I have no one!”
“That’s not true Naeun! You have me… and you have him,” Mi Kyong pointed to your baby, and you sobbed even louder. Mi Kyong sighed and grabbed the baby in your arms and put him in a crib, her unni left sometimes, so she can babysit, and then sat back down next to you. “You don’t understand… I have no home, no family, anyone … I’m useless” you said in between sobs. Mi Kyong pulled you into a hug and listened.
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“My baby needs a better life… that’s why I didn’t name him,” you sighed sobering down. “W-what are you talking about Naeun?” You pulled away from her hug and sighed, “I’m going to let someone adopt him.”
“Ani! You can’t! He’s your child! And if you need a home; you can stay with me! I know it’s a little small, but…”
“I can’t ask that of you Mi Kyong, and besides even if I did; I have to help pay the rent and both of us would have to work. We probably won’t have enough money to pay for child care and food.” Mi Kyong bit her lip considering this, “What will you do then?”
“I can’t live with chombumo (Grandparents, informal), if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m giving my baby away,” you said bluntly as ever. “But you don’t have to!”
“Ani, I do. I don’t want my baby to know he has an unfit Eomma.” Mi Kyong stared at you for some time and then pulled you into a hug again, “You are staying with me then…”
“But…”
“No buts, you are my friend, and I don’t want my friend to suffer like this.” You smiled a little, but your lips turned downward as you remembered your baby, “Okay.”
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You kept borrowing clothes from Mi Kyong the whole time you stayed with her and because of her you also got a job. You were so thankful having her as your friend, that you felt sorry your baby kept her up most of the night. She even tried to urge you to name him, but you didn’t want to get attached, especially since you knew he was leaving soon.
One day you finally decided it was time; although it broke your heart, you still wanted him to live a better life. Mi Kyong again tried to convince you again, but you shook your head and place your little one in a carrier, putting a blanket over it to block away the cold.
Your original thought, of course, was to place him in an orphanage, but you decided not to as you thought of the movie, Mi Kyong forced you to watch… not getting into much detail; you decided to steer away from orphanages for a while… maybe even forever.
You were walking around a very nice neighborhood and looked at it with awe. This neighborhood is nicer than the one I lived in… although I did live in one of the riches neighborhoods in town. You continued walking in the cold of night, placing your jacket over the blanket to make sure your baby won’t be cold.
You stopped several blocks away when you saw a car pulled up in front of a house. “Eomma! Appa! Can I eat the candy now?” a young girl squealed as she reached for a bag in her eomma’s forearm. The Eomma laughed and knelt down to the little one, kissing her forehead, and picked her up. “Yah! I bet my baby wants me to carry her,” a man, who you assumed was the appa, snatched the girl playfully from the eomma’s arms and started tickling her.
You smiled at their interactions, and although you couldn’t see the faces, you knew they were smiling. You saw another figure walk out of the car and he looked over in your direction. You were glad that it was dark and he couldn’t identify your face. You quickly turned to the corner, but you still watched the family.
You continued to watch them until they entered the gate. To be truthful, you knew you looked like a stalker or a thief, but you threw that thought out as you stealthily, well as stealthily as you can get with a baby carrier, and arrived in front of the gate. You lifted your jacket and blanket from the carrier and looked at your child’s face. You brushed your finger on his cheek, which made him giggle a little.
You smiled a little, trying to hold back tears as you kissed his little nose before rubbing yours with his, “You’re eomma’s unfit to take care of you… I’m sorry… my little Hyunnie.” You always had this name that you wanted to call him, and you always said it and repeated in your mind, but you thought it was time for your baby to know his first name, although he won’t understand.
A tear slipped from your eye and you put the covering back down. You grabbed the fabric of your shirt and closed your eyes, “I’m so sorry… very sorry, for you having an Eomma like me.” You opened your eyes and looked at the large gate in front of you, hovering your hand on the buzzer.
You took a deep breathe, come on Naeun; it’s now or never. You pressed the buzzer with more force than needed and quickly ran over to a corner.
The minutes ticked by and it felt like hours; you mentally slapped yourself when you thought about your plan. No one would willingly go outside and open the gate, if no one was there to answer the call. You were about to go back, but someone opened the door; it was the same boy figure that you saw when the family came.
He seemed very exhausted as he knelt down next to the carrier. He opened the covering and his body showed that he was shocked, but not too shocked. He picked up your Hyunnie, who started to cry, and held the little one closed to him as he ordered an ahjumma to pick up the carrier. He was about to go back inside, but he looked back and forth as if looking for the one who placed the helpless baby in front of his house, then he left inside, rocking the baby gently.
You grabbed your chest again and fell to the ground, crying your eyes out, Eomma’s sorry; Eomma’s sorry! You repeated that in your mind the whole walk back to Mi Kyong’s apartment.
When you arrived the lights were already off and you didn’t even bother turning it on, instead you just collapsed on the ground, “Hyun Ji,” was the last thing you said before falling asleep.
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