I happened to see Chanyeol in the basketball field. It can be seen clearly from the place where I just passed the first corridor before I crossed the wide ceremony field. Chanyeol already in his white hem, he scrolled his long white sleeve up to his elbow. He focused on playing the basketball with other members of exo when baekhyun, chen and suho were sat down cheering and teasing them outside the playing area.

Chanyeol just wiped his sweat when he accidentally saw me come closer to where he is. As he noticed my existence, he chose to take a break. I thought he is going to come to me instead of taking a seat beside baekhyun. I held my breath. He tried me. He thought I wont come to him when he is with his friends ? oh cmon. I always follow him around whether there are his friends with him or not. Did he forget about that ? I keep my feet taking steps closer to chanyeol. I almost called his name when baekhyun turned his head.

“ woaah we got a guest “ he smiled, “ Chanyeol ssi your princess is coming “ he nudged chanyeol with his elbow. Chanyeol didn’t even turn his face to see me.

“ please help me to make sure that she’s really my princess “ he coldly stating then gliding some water through his throat, “ it could be her twin “.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and stood up after smacked chanyeol’s head hard. Good. That deserves you well. Chanyeol frowned then exchanging glares with baekhyun before baekhyun  made his way to me.

“ sorry, he’s outta his mind “ baekhyun smiled sincerely, “ you didn’t have any twins right ? “ he asked hesitantly.

I nodded then stole a glance to chanyeol. I felt bad for giving him the chance which may be he didn’t need at all. May be there are some bad memories he wants to bury between Seulgi and him or maybe he is just going to find his own way. May be he still needs me to get Seulgi back to him, may be he’s trying to make Seulgi asked him to get back first. Maybe. All I can do is supporting him so he could always stay happy.

“ do you want to approach him yourself or should I call him to come? “ baekhyun offered. I don’t want to make things hard for baekhyun. Why would I ask him to get chanyeol here ? I should go there instead right ?

“ let me just call him for you “ he smiles to the extent where he cant make his smile even wider. Baekhyun knew well that it could be pretty hard for me if I come there and ask chanyeol to have a talk with me. I could only smile to him because of his kindness.

“ wait a min.. “ he left me.

Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol aside by taking a seat which is too close so close to chanyeol that it made him frustrated then got up. I cant really hear what baekhyun said to chanyeol which made him turned his face to me. He turned his face again from me and I can tell he took a deep inhale before he walked to me. I need something to hold, I didn’t dare to look at him. Once I tried to, he didn’t even look at me. He stopped right in front of me and I decided to look to the ground. I fiddled with my bag straps. Please say something, chanyeol. I waited and waited. He didn’t say anything. I looked up to him. It’s a public secret that he is taller than me. He blinked. I don’t know how long he already stared at me.

“ it’s also hard for me to say those earlier words “ I referred to our conversation before.

“why did you spill it then ? “ he asked while his eyebrows are furrowed.

“ I just want to help you “

“ what help ? I don’t think I need any help tho “ he didn’t give space for any seconds to reply my words.

“ I .. “ I dared my eyes to look at him. He crossed his arms, waiting for my further words.

“ just thought that maybe you want to get back to her.. “ I hurriedly deflated my shoulders when I realized that it’s stiffened.

He pulled a long sigh then looked straight to my eyes.

“ I don’t have those thoughts in mind.. “ he released his arms stayed in both side of his legs. He put his hands on both my shoulders. He tried to match his eyes with mine. I think I lose my breath. Staring right to his eyes isn’t a good decision but here I did it.

“ If you want to know the things that I really want, ask me. I will tell you everything you wanted to know.. don’t make any speculations about things I want and I don’t want “ his eyes pleading. Suddenly I felt guilty. I almost lose him because of my stupidity.

“ I met Seulgi “, I stated. I wanted to know his reaction.

As expected. His pupils getting wider, I can tell he tried to control his expression. I can see curiosity. Oh c’mon I have followed him around for some months and he let me in. He slowly released my shoulder and say “ ah really ? “ then smiled. I keep my eyes on him.

“ let’s go home “ he looked at me still with his smile on. “ actually I am not the type who playing after school, I am waiting for you to come to me “ he smiled even wider that it almost closed his eyes fully. He turned around ready to take his bag. He almost go but..

“ what ? “ he turned to me when I tug his sleeve. He looked down to me.

“ you didn’t want to know what Seulgi said to me ? “

He turned around again, back to his position before. My fingers still on his folded left sleeve.

“ She said that you’ll back to her again. “ I looked down, afraid of looking at his reaction. I afraid to see that he’s happy to hear those words.

“ you ever broke up with her for a year then you were back to her that time “ I still looked down. Will he be angry that I sound like making his favorite flower looks like an antagonist ?

“ emm—she didn’t say it in an angry tone tho.. you know she is just saying and .. “ I am trying my best so he wouldn’t be angry and I lifted my head a bit so I could convince him that what I say is true.

There I saw him blank faced in front of me. His eyes are look straight behind me, flying to another space I guess. I have called his names few times until he back to his sense again.

“ hmm ? “ he blinked few times.

“ it’s okay if you wanna get back to her, we’ve just been together for few days and you have been with her for around 10 years and for god’s sake, I know my position chanyeol.. “ I smiled. The words which I just said are sweet but it extremely felt bitter inside.

“ yeah, I also know your position so please don’t say anything anymore.. let’s just go back home “ chanyeol said to me in a plain tone while his eyebrows are centered. Is he angry again ? He let my fingers off from his sleeves then he walked away from me. It didn’t take a long time for him to stood in front of me again and take my hand then drag me away with him.

He didn’t speak anything while walking, didn’t even say anything when he took my hand. We just keep on walking. He grabbed my hand tightly. Even in the bus, we didn’t say anything. He keeps his eyes outside the window and sometimes he closed his eyes. He didn’t turn his face to me even for seconds. He must be tired. He likes to talk and why does he keep his lip shut. He must be angry to me again but now I really had no idea what to say since he decided to stay beside me. It could be easier to say sorry when he walked out like how we talked few minutes ago on the bench.

I want to call his name but it stuck on my throat.

When we arrived at the bus stop near my house, he took my hand again and keep it with him until we stopped in front of my house still with no words. He let my hands off then I turned to face him. We are standing in front of my house gate, facing each other.

“ thank you, “ I muttered.

“ jin hee, “ he called my name when I still staring at him.

“ hmm ? “ I am a bit startled tho.

“ I know your position, so don’t ask me to break up with you, will you ? “

I don’t know what’s behind his words but I don’t think twice for the question ‘will you’. I nodded fast right after I heard the ‘will you’ words since I will do anything for him.

“ and just forget what Seulgi said to you “ he asked seriously.

“ okay , I will just forget it like shift plus del “ I smiled awkwardly, tried to break the tense around.

He chuckled a bit. It really is a relieved. I love his smile a lot, his chuckle. I love it a lot than his anger. After all, I just love him.

“ go in “ he gestured his hand before he put it in his pocket, again.

I smiled and nodded many times then turned my body, back facing him. I walked to the gate and keep on stealing glances to him to be greeted by his smiles. When I closed the gate, I still could see him through some gaps in the gate.

“ chanyeol, I love you “ I spoke in a very low tone then made love sign by shaping heart and connected it on my head, tried to make a big heart sign.

He smiled then waved his hand. I also smiled and put my hands off when I saw he waved his hands.

“ go in” he mouthed then I nodded, again like a lil child who keeps on getting told by the mom, then I come in to the house. How I wish I could hear ‘ I love you too ‘ from his lips.