“Seungri!” The president barks before I’ve even closed the door shut. “You’ve done something wrong this time and don’t you even try to deny it, yah!”

“Yes, sajangnim.” I mutter, bowing my head forty-five degrees from the floor. Perfect angle for getting the scolding over with as soon as possible, considering I’m quite hungover and would like to get back home, I mean, to Jiyong’s apartment as soon as possible, and so have no intentions of prolonging or begging for more scolding today.

“A constant stream of photos of you with various different girls, drinking and partying every single day and night of the week! What are you even thinking, Seungri?! The president doesn’t even pause for breath. “I already have enough to worry about with Jiyong’s comeback and announcing his engagement! Just what is the matter with you?”

“I’m sorry, sajangnim.” I mutter without looking up.

There’s a pause before the president volunteers his first idea.

“Is this because of Japan, Seungri?” My head snaps up at the mention of my original plans for the summer. “Because we didn’t let you go and made you stay with Jiyong instead? Although, admittedly, you’ve technically been doing a fairly decent job of moving the focus away from him and Seulgi-ssi to you and all your partying and serial dating. Albeit by inconvenient methods, because I know that wasn’t by any means intentional or planned with Jiyong! He never would’ve let you get away with that!”

I consider helpfully pointing out that I’m not dating any of the girls and didn’t even do anything remotely PG with them other than dance, but it’ll only prolong the lecture if I speak up, so I hold my peace.

“Jiyong and I have already got enough on our plates with his comeback and hiding his marriage until that point, and then official press releases and statements on his engagement and marriage,” YG slowly repeats. I raise my head again to see him staring steadily at me. Whatever he’s about to say, it’s definitely his final decision. I can tell from the look on his face.

“Therefore, it’ll just be easier to ship you off to Japan until the Alive Tour resumes. You’re already causing me far too much trouble over here, and I have neither the means nor time to deal with you right now, Seungri. Get out the country and go over there to perform on variety shows, strengthen Korean relations with Japan and all that. As long as you’re not causing scandals, I don’t care. You appeal to Japanese fans best because you’re fluent and good with fanservice, so just get over there already.” The president finally finishes, sighing heavily as he slumps in his chair. I, however, could not be more ecstatic. Finally! My ticket out and away from Jiyong and his stupid fiancée and his stupid wedding! Permission from the president to leave, well, not forever, because that’s not exactly ideal either, but at least for a month!

And yet. It’s my victory, but why do I feel like I’ve lost? Disappointed people. Made them use their last resort. I quickly shake the feeling off. I’m only being damn ungrateful now that I’ve been given the opportunity. I ignore the sinking feeling in my heart and plaster a gracious smile on my face.

“Thank you, sajangnim! Goodbye!” I cry out, bolting from his office before he can change his mind.

The president’s announcement of my transfer to Japan was an order, not a question. Yet why do I feel like I still have yet to choose and make up my mind as to whether to leave or not?

If I’m honest, I feel like I can’t leave Jiyong. It’ll probably take a huge weight off his shoulders if I’m gone, due to what I’ve been up to this past week, but before that, he wouldn’t be able to get by without me acting as smokescreen. Or, rather, he wouldn’t be able to get by seeing his jagiya since they’d get caught.

I hate Seulgi. I really do. But I want Jiyong to be happy more than my hatred. And if he’s happy with her, so be it. I can’t change the way things are or how he feels. I realise now that nothing can be done. The best option is to just leave it all behind. They’ll cope somehow.

But I still don’t know if I want to leave.

I head to Jiyong’s apartment out of habit. I silently open the front door to hear voices emanating from the lounge. I leave the door slightly ajar so they don’t hear that I’m home, and peek round the corner. I find Jiyong and Seulgi on the sofa, thankfully not making out, but with his face buried in her lap. I wait outside the entrance, hidden from sight as I hear Jiyong whining softly.

“I don’t know what to do with him anymore.”

I tense. Even after a single sentence, I know he’s talking about me. I then hear Seulgi’s much higher voice weaving in through his like the notes of a screeching violin, shivers running up my spine at the sound.

“Well, even if they’re scandals, it’s good that all the attention he’s garnering means there’s less focus on us, don’t you think?”

Jiyong sighs heavily, as though at loss. “It’s not that. He’s literally going wild…he’s unstoppable. I’m so worried about him now; more than ever…what am I going to do? What’s going to happen to him?”     

“What is there to think about? He’s our smokescreen and he’s doing his job well enough. You don’t need to worry or care about anything or anyone else.”

There’s a pause, and I hear Jiyong hesitating for a few moments before he finally replies.

“Yeah. You’re right. it. I don’t need to give a flying . him, and everything else. We’re finally getting married, and that’s all that matters. I don’t need to care about him anymore. He can take care of himself now.”

At the sound of them kissing, I slam the front door shut to announce my arrival at the apartment. I can’t call it home anymore.

“YAH! Maknae! In here, now!” Jiyong’s voice immediately booms like a clap of thunder. I reluctantly make my way into the sitting room as Jiyong rolls over so I can feel the full extent of his wrath, even whilst still lying in his fiancée's lap. He arrogantly tilts his chin upwards in a haughty attempt to look down on me and purposely display the supposed power difference between the two of us even though I’m standing above him.

“Seulgi and I were just talking, and we’ve decided it looks like we need to get you castrated, maknae.” He finally begins, his mouth twitching up into a mocking sneer, his teeth bared like a predator about to mercilessly annihilate its prey. “You’re worse than Gaho, yah. Do we need to put you on a leash?”

I’ve had enough. I’ve taken well over more than enough. This is just simply inhumane now. Even if I still wasn’t admittedly so in love with Jiyong, my heart would still be tearing in two at this transformation of my loving, admirable, genuine leader hyung into an unrecognisable, selfish, lying, two-faced . I can feel tears stinging at the back of my eyes, but I don’t dare let them fall. I need to get this over and done with, and walk out with my head held high. It’s all come tumbling down now as reality crash lands, rearing its ugly head. This is the absolute breaking point, and I feel nauseous at the idea that mine and Jiyong’s relationship may as well have been one big lie all along, after all these years. A heart is not a play-thing, and it deserves to be treated with respect.

Unfortunately, it appears Jiyong never quite learnt this lesson.

“It’ll be hard for you to keep me on your leash when I’m in another county, hyungnim.” I whisper, the honorific slipping out of my mouth before I can even stop it. I have never, ever referred to Jiyong as ‘hyungnim’. ‘Hyung’, ‘Leader’, ‘Your Highness’, ‘The King’, yes. ‘Hyungnim’, never. I always deemed it too formal for a relationship I believed to be so close and strong.

Jiyong’s face freezes, absolutely still. “What?”

“I only came back here to pick up my stuff. The company needs to get it all shipped over, so before you ask, yes, sajangnim fully well knows about this, and is ecstatic about me further promoting and welcoming Korean awareness in Japan.”

Jiyong’s mouth opens and closes like he can’t find the right words to say, like he can’t even find the wrong ones. Well, good for him. Seulgi doesn’t look at me, her gaze rooted to the white shag rug on the floor. I don’t know what she’s thinking.

“Long story short,” I interject before Jiyong has the chance to find his voice. “I quit. I’m done with you, this bull sideshow job and being treated like absolute crap. I’m out of here. Congratulations, hyungnim and Seulgi-ssi. I wish you all the best.” I genuinely mean that last point. Stay happy, and stay away from me.

Without another word, I brush past them into the spare room and grab my holdalls, chucking my remaining belongings into the bag before heading straight to the door again, leaving once and for all.

Good riddance.