By the next day, the whole of YG Family knows, and the place is filled to the brim with nothing but celebrations for the company’s golden boy and his bride-to-be. Yang Hyunsuk is initially angry that Jiyong did not consult him or ask for his permission beforehand, but it’s in vain because he and the rest of the company have met Seulgi before, and fully well know that she is perfect in every single way: the perfect girl for the equally perfect Jiyong.
 

It’s like one never-ending nightmare.

Everybody is in high spirits; Jiyong happily accepts all the congratulations and wishes for the couple from all the staff, Youngbae and Daesung spend the day playfully arguing about who is more religious of the two and therefore entitled to uniting the couple in holy matrimony, the 2NE1 girls and Gummy are busy asking Seulgi all about the wedding and cooing over her engagement ring, the older artists like Psy and Tablo are excited that Jiyong will soon be joining their ranks amongst the married men, and most likely, with a family soon to come in tow like the rest of them. Throughout the whole day, my mask doesn’t slip, not even for a single second.

Only Seunghyun-hyung is indifferent. He doesn’t explicitly say anything, nor does he show it through any of his quirky facial expressions or unusual body language. He gives his congratulations to Jiyong, but after that, his face and stance are set to ‘actor’s neutral’, as he himself would put it, and he remains silent all throughout, exactly like he did on that day.

Amongst all this, I can tell he’s watching me this entire time, his inescapable gaze constantly fixed on me without fail. I turn to face him a few times to smile or laugh at him, but his face remains a blank slate. Eventually, I can’t stand it for another second, and get up from my seat to go over to him so I can ask him what the hell is his problem, but as soon as I even begin to make the motion, he walks over to Jiyong, and I distinctly hear the words “smoke break” being mumbled. Jiyong nods his head, and they both head towards the exit, Seunghyun-hyung looks over his shoulder at me and nods his head towards Jiyong, who is swiftly disappearing through the doorway and hasn’t seen a single thing. Without hesitating even for a second, I immediately go after them. I don’t know if Seunghyun-hyung knows how I feel, I don’t care if anyone’s watching, but I definitely don’t want to miss what Jiyong will only say to Seunghyun-hyung.

As I silently follow the pair through the hallways until they reach the balcony. Seunghyun-hyung opens the glass door and motions for Jiyong to go through first, and then follows, leaving the door ajar so that any conversation can be clearly heard, along with the aid of the large windows putting the two on full display from within the building.

“So…” Jiyong begins after they’ve both lit up and each taken at least three deep inhalations of rolled nicotine. “I know you’ve got something on your mind, cus you asked me to come with. What’s up? Don’t worry, we’ll still be GD&TOP even after I’m married!” He snickers, letting loose a stream of smoke that dances up into the air.

“It’s not me you should be worried about.” Seunghyun-hyung finally answers. My heart stops, frozen mid-pulse, as my eyes widen and I desperately fight the urge to run out there onto the balcony and stop Seunghyun-hyung from saying anything else.

“Huh?” Jiyong frowns and turns to look at Seunghyun-hyung, who is gazing off into the distance as he releases the smoke into the wind. “Is there…something wrong? Is it Seulgi? You got a problem with her?” His eyes narrow at the thought of anyone, even his childhood friend, targeting his beloved.

Seunghyun-hyung only smiles and shakes his head as he drops his burning cigarette to the ground and stubs it out, only to pull out the packet and light another. I roll my eyes and mentally remind myself to hide them the next time I see them. It’s one thing to do it once in a while as an excuse to enjoy himself and ‘maintain a deep, husky voice that all the ladies love’, and another to end up sick and dying on a hospital bed. “Like I said, Jiyong,” He replies, his cigarette clenched between his teeth whilst he returns the box to his pocket. “It isn’t me you should be worried about. In fact, it doesn’t really have anything to do with me at all, apart from the fact that it disturbs me to just sit by and let happen to people I care about.”

Jiyong only continues to frown. “Can you stop speaking in riddles and just get to the point?”

Seunghyun-hyung pauses, carefully considering his words before he speaks again. The only thing I can hear is my heart pounding in my ears as I dread what he says next, and it’s only until I realise he’s mentioned my name that I hear anything.

“Seungri was there when you proposed, right?” Seunghyun asks, and Jiyong nods, his furrowed eyebrows showing his uncertainty in where his hyung is going with this. “Wait, of course he was. Why am I even bothering asking you that. Anyway, point is - what did he say to you afterwards?”

I can’t even breathe as I wait for Jiyong’s answer. For a split second, I forget what I said and immediately panic, only to then remember that I’d never be as stupid as to give anything other than a positive response if it was related to Jiyong and his girlfriend. I’d be too afraid of the pain.

Of the rejection.

“He gave his congratulations and said he was happy for us.” Jiyong finally answers. “Why? What’s wrong with that?”

“You seriously don’t find anything wrong with that?!” Seunghyun-hyung splutters out through a cloud of smoke. He coughs slightly before carrying on. “I know you made the poor kid give up his entire summer like it was nothing and he actually wanted to, just to play third wheel for you and your girlfriend.” Jiyong’s jaw drops as his eyes widen in disbelief. I see him inhale in preparation to launch of a torrent of questions and objections at the elder, but Seunghyun-hyung cuts him off before he can even say anything with a wave of his hand. “And whilst he’s all alone, at the end of it when you two finally plan to tie the knot, he just says he’s happy?! You honestly think that’s normal?! Any ordinary person would be frustrated irregardless, but Seungri, he…you…” Seunghyun-hyung sighs and shakes his head, clearly given up. He takes another drag from his cigarette and doesn’t say anything else, his explosion seemingly having all his energy.

“What do you mean-”

“You know what I mean.” Seunghyun-hyung interjects, his voice quiet but firm. “You’re stupid, but not that stupid. And last time I checked, you don’t appear to have memory relapses either, am I right? Because I definitely don’t.”

Jiyong doesn’t reply. I peek round the corner and see that his back’s turned to the window, with his head bowed as he looks down.

“I think both you and I know exactly what I’m talking about, and the way things are looking, something tells me that you’re not over it, are you?” Seunghyun-hyung continues, his tone harsh and unforgiving. “And you probably never will be. You’re an idiot, Jiyong. A selfish one at that. It’s not fair to either of them.”

“Wait, how is it unfair to him?!” Jiyong turns to Seunghyun-hyung, confusion written all over his face. “What are you saying?”

“Aish, don’t be such a ing moron. Do the maths, you can work it out yourself.” Seunghyun-hyung waves his hand again at Jiyong, this time brushing him off.

“I don’t understand-”

“Hey!”

I suddenly hear a voice a lot louder and a hell of a lot closer to me, and turn around to see the worst possible person I could run into at a time like this. God can’t save me now from motormouth Daesung and his reverberating voice.

“We’ve been looking all over for you!! Where’d you disappear to, yah?!” Daesung’s voice booms like thunder and echoes all throughout the hallway, causing Jiyong and Seunghyun-hyung to look over at us through the glass.

“Oh, I-I just went to the bathroom.” I shrug and look to the window to see Jiyong and Seunghyun-hyung have re-directed their attention back to their cancer sticks.

“Ah, you found him.” I hear another voice and look behind Daesung to see Youngbae walking towards us. When he reaches us, he places a hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eye.

“Maknae…” Youngbae lets the word linger in the air as he looks to Daesung, who nods once at him, before he looks back at me. “It’s okay-”

“Hy-Hyung, I’m fine,” I state, willing my voice not to shake, but it still does. “I-I just, I just went to the-”

“We know.”

“-bathroom, it’s okay, I’m fine, you don’t need to-” I continue to babble, before realising what he’s just said. I stop and just stare at the two, who stare right back at me, pity apparent in their eyes. Just those two words make my heart beat in double time as my back breaks out in a cold sweat. My eyes widen, and I try to look anywhere but in front of me, but I can’t escape.

My game is up. How did I ever think it possible to fool everyone? Of course they know. How could they not?! I bet Jiyong knows too, and had let me tag along with him and his now fiancée the whole summer just because he feels sorry for me. I’m a fool; nothing less, nothing more.

“I-I-” I stutter. Maybe it’s not too late. Everyone knows how much I can talk; maybe I can get myself out of this mess and play it off as something else, anything but this.

“Hyung, you have it all wrong,” I nervously laugh, looking from Youngbae to Daesung and back again. “It-It’s not what you’re thinking, I, you, it’s all a misunderstanding, y-you see, what really happened was-”

“Seungri,” Youngbae cuts me off, and he shakes his head disappointedly because he knows I’m trying to lie my way out of it. I don’t try to say anything else, suddenly overwhelmed with shame, that my hyungs think I don’t trust them enough to tell them the truth.

“We know…that you’re…” Daesung begins as I close my eyes and brace myself for the moment of pure unadulterated pain, of full exposure. Full transparency.

“We know that you’re in love with Seulgi.”