From an outsider’s perspective, lunch is casual and relaxed. Just four young Seoulites enjoying well-prepared food on a warm sunny day. The reality is, for me, at least, that the whole event is awkward and stilted, like one of the many times I snuck into Jiyong’s closet, tried on a pair of his jeans, couldn’t get them anywhere up above the bottom of my limbs, swiftly realised a few minutes too late that that particular article of clothing had been tailored for women, got them stuck around my ankles when trying to remove them at the speed of light, and then had Jiyong walk in on me to catch me in the act red-handed.

“So, Seungri, how have you been?” Dami asks after all the bombardment of endless wedding talk from Jiyong and Seulgi. I open my mouth to respond, only to get cut off before I can even produce an answer. As though he’s only just noticed me, Jiyong reaches across the table to flick my forehead. After all these years of Jiyong leaning in to try and kiss me, hug me, pet me or do whatever the hell it is that gives him a vague form of personal entertainment at times when I’m not exactly at my happiest, I learnt that staying still, steady and silent whilst looking as unaffected as possible is the best way to go about things, instead of leaning away or screaming not the manliest of screams like I used to in the earlier years. 

“This brat, aish. He’s so lazy; he’s been having a great time lounging around doing nothing but scarfing down all the American potato chips in the apartment and take up all the space on the couch.” Jiyong tuts. “Yah, when are you gonna earn your keep? Rent isn’t free, you know!”

I stare at him, blinking in shock. ‘First, it’s not enough to act like I’m a burden that’s dragging you behind even after you practically begged me to stay, but now? Now you want to act like you don’t want me here at all, as if I actually forced myself upon you and your god damn jagiya? How much would you like it if I walked out, right here, right now? Huh?! Bet that would show you not to be so freaking smug all the time, hyung!’

“Well, I did have plans to go to Japan and spend my entire summer there. But at the beginning of the season, I was requested by a certain someone to stay here, and my stay was then permanently extended through some unexpected arrangements that were suddenly made. So I guess Japan’s off for a while.” I reply casually, dismissing all the furious rants and rages that had piled up like a car crash in my mind. I’m careful to coolly retain my composure as I answer the question, my feathers seemingly far from ruffled. An explosive, frenzied reaction would give Jiyong the satisfaction of winning in apparently trying to piss me off. In comparison to this calm demeanour of mine, Jiyong’s gaze hardens and freezes as it locks with mine. His jaw pulses without him even chewing anything.

Whilst it’s true that Seulgi and everyone in the company have been told to keep the engagement secret, along with the information that I have been deployed by the president to live with Jiyong, nobody knows that it actually all began with that personal request from Jiyong for me to spend all my time with him and Seulgi from the very start of their relationship. It was only after and because of this particular event, that the instruction to stay with Jiyong after the engagement had then stemmed from there. They all believe it’s some randomly devised instruction that YG had managed to come up with by himself after locking himself up in his office to have yet one another of his exclusive brainstorming meetings with his Bearbricks all day. That it’s just a business thing, only serving for convenience. And that the only reason I kept clinging to the couple’s side everywhere they went before the engagement was purely because I was bored, with nothing to do, and probably a little lonely to boot, with nothing to do during vacation (the Japan plan pre-Seulgi had been omitted before I’d even had the chance to tell anyone about it). Or, as Youngbae and Daesung believe, out of jealousy. Either way, everyone believes every single word, theory and explanation that comes flying out of Jiyong’s lying little mouth.

Well, everyone except Seunghyun-hyung.

Jiyong doesn’t even try to lie to him. He can’t, even if he wants to. After all, Seunghyun-hyung knows the truth, and has done all along. Even if he had to guess some parts of it that actually turned out to be correct, it didn’t change the fact that he knows.

I even remember how from the very moment Jiyong announced to the room every single detail of the plan and the reasoning behind it, he didn’t meet the eldest or youngest member’s gaze even once. It was as though we weren’t even there, in the same room, listening to the absolute bull that was currently spewing from our leader’s lips, whilst I, for once, managed to keep my mouth clamped shut. But only out of pure shock and disbelief.

“But why Seungri, huh?” Daesung had frowned, knotting his eyebrows whilst simultaneously narrowing his eyes into even tinier slits. “Why’d you choose him? Not that I envy your slave for the summer – no offence, maknae – but why him?”

“Dunno. YG says maknae’s the best fit since he was doing all this summer, and the fans think we look fricking adorable together. Sajangnim clearly believes the concept of ‘Nyongtory’ will boost sales or something. Oh, I don’t know, Daesung. Why don’t you just go ask him yourself if you’re so damn interested?” Jiyong complained, still avoiding Seunghyun-hyung’s gaze and mine as he had continued to huff and puff about how he was forced to do all these things, like pick maknae as the smokescreen, or let the maknae live at his place, etc, etc.

But now.

“I-I never heard about Japan.” Jiyong roughly clears his throat. I look up to see him glaring directly at me, silently demanding an explanation.

“Ah, well,” I flash Jiyong a quick smile as I continue breezily and unhurriedly. “I immediately delayed the plans for my trip after that request from that person. And then, after certain circumstances occurred, the president cancelled my plans altogether since it’s the end of August, so summer along with my break is practically over.” I sigh, caressing the tips of my chopsticks with my hands as I attempt to channel the face of somebody who is currently in deep mourning for what could have been an invigorating time period of my young life. I desperately want to see the look on Jiyong’s face, especially since I’d mentioned ‘that request from that person’ and the ‘certain circumstances,’ but I know it will piss him off even more if I don’t give him a single strand of my attention. And so, I continue to stare down longingly into my bowl of soup.    

It doesn’t take a genius to blatantly work out that Jiyong’s trying to hide the fact that he had to ask me to go through all this hassle. But why? Is it a point of pride? Shame? Embarrassment? Whatever the hell it is, I wish he would just keep it to himself, because the idea of running away to Japan after all is becoming more and more tempting by the second.

“…I see.” Dami says after an extremely long pause. I look up to smile benevolently at her as she continues. “It’s a shame you couldn’t go in the end. We all know your Japanese speaking skills are excellent.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” Jiyong cuts in. I turn towards him to see him smirking viciously at me. My mood immediately darkens. It appears he’s regained his Kwon Leadah form, and whatever he’s about to say will not be good. “If we let maknae run wild all over Japan, he’ll go round causing masses of scandals with nobody there to watch over him or keep him on a leash.” He cackles victoriously as my face flushes a deep red.

‘Stop treating me like I’m sixteen years old and baby-faced all over again!’ I almost yell, but stop myself short as my mind realises yet another well-formulated plan.

If Jiyong likes being such a jerkface and pissing me off all the time, two can definitely play at that game. And what better way than to cause a massive blow up of scandals? I my lips in anticipation, already excited. I’d stopped partying with my university friends, at least not frequently anymore, to save the reputation of the group. I have to admit, I get messy and don’t exactly think straight when I get drunk, so I’d heeded when Jiyong had finally given me a leader speech and warning to stop before I did anything stupid. But right now seems like the perfect time to begin disobeying his orders – especially whilst living under his own roof.

I laugh off Jiyong’s cutting remark along with Seulgi and Dami as though we’re on a talk show and there is never any correct moment for an argument or disagreement to rise. Jiyong knows me well enough to probably tell that something’s off, but I’m far from caring right now. My mind is far too busy engaged with all sorts of trouble-making and spotlight-stealing plans. I take a quick sip from my soup, only to discover I’ve left it so long that it’s cooled down to room temperate. But that’s okay.

Because revenge is best served cold.