“Kyuhyun-ah, it’s Sungmin hyung. I’m getting married. And I’m inviting you. No pressure, though! Let me know if it’s okay with you. Let’s catch up soon?”

Kyuhyun stared at the screen closing the voicemail. He played it again, trying to absorb the content of the message. And again. And again. It was not supposed to hurt, but how come his heart was crying out in pain?

Along the way, Kyuhyun forgot to return Sungmin’s call. Drowned himself with work for distraction. But no answer meant an affirmation to Sungmin. So six months later, a cream-white envelope landed on Kyuhyun’s tiny mailbox situated on the ground floor of his apartment complex. Did he expect this invitation? Maybe. But he couldn’t message Sungmin out of the blue and tell him that he'll turn it down.

The envelope had Kyuhyun’s name embossed in gold. At the back were two initials and a date. As the elevator doors opened, Kyuhyun stepped inside and carefully opened the envelope. Inside was a special paper in the same color as the envelope, the wedding program and entourage list printed on it. Kyuhyun sighed in relief when his name wasn’t found in the groomsmen.

Despite remaining in touch with Sungmin, he never planned to attend this wedding. Not that he’s not happy for him, but the event leaves a weird mixture of resentment and longing. What-ifs and would-have-been flood his mind, even though they were safely tucked in the deep crevices of the brain. Why did he even agree to keep this friendship when he’ll be the one hurt?

And that was the first time Kyuhyun turned down going to an event. Other friends were bugging him to come, but Kyuhyun remained firm. Escaping Seoul to have a sudden vacation in Italy — just to clear off his mind and distract his heart again. Replacing the aged plasters with new ones, hoping it wouldn’t bleed again.

“Sungmin hyung, it’s Kyu. Sorry I couldn’t go to your wedding, but I wish you and Saeun-ssi all the best!”

Even after the wedding, there were other instances that Kyuhyun would pass on an event. From Jungsoo & Youngwoon’s wedding in Jeju to Zhou Mi’s birthday held in Shanghai. Reunions, anniversaries, and even a simple lunch date were turned down. At first, the friends understood — Kyuhyun is a busy man, after all. Either attending a conference overseas or handling complex patient cases since he’s the only one capable of handling them.

But over time, his sudden absence drove his other friends crazy. Some even found out the pattern — in most events, Kyuhyun stepped back if Sungmin is attending. And he’ll only appear when the said man wasn’t going. To test the theory, Heechul hosted a dinner party at his house. Only the friends whom he vibed with.

And Kyuhyun showed up.

“You know,” Heechul swirled his glass, “I’m glad you’re here, Kyu. It’s a miracle that you agreed to come at this hour.”

Kyuhyun raised the glass of wine to his lips and lets out a satisfying sigh after a sip. “Cases today were benign and not needing my attention. The residents told me they’ll call when something comes up.” That was a lie. He gave one of his patients to his closest colleague for the time being after learning that Sungmin wasn’t going to the dinner party.

Heechul nodded before setting down his glass on the center table, “Is it not because a certain someone did not come?”

Kyuhyun remained silent. Stared at the almost empty glass. He hated how upfront Heechul is. Even though he has a chance to dodge the question, he and his other friends in this area knew that they’re not going to fall for it. Especially when it’s becoming blatantly obvious that he’s avoiding Sungmin.

But he still lied, wishing that it’ll pass through. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been missing out on important events,” Siwon crossed his legs, “And we’ve been expecting that the 15 of us will be there. Even Zhou Mi and Henry had to fly from Canada to be with us here — and you know they’re busier than us.”

. Kyuhyun tried not to flinch. Tried not to show any form of defeat because that’s not his character. If they’re trying to prove a point, might as well eat it up.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun placed down his glass and crossed his arms, “Some things came up during those times. I can’t leave them alone.” The next few lines would threaten not only his defenses but also his sanity. Is he sure to do the next move? Will he be able to handle the prospect of being in the same room as him?

it, Kyuhyun cursed in his mind. He had to face it. There’s no reason not to.

“The hospital granted me a one-month paid leave that I can use anytime. Tell me when’s the next get-together and I’ll go.”

Sungmin is, in today’s terms, Kyuhyun’s biggest what-if.

They started as best friends. Sungmin had always taken good care of Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun always made sure to return the favor. From simple paybacks like buying a meal, it turned into attending concerts and taking spontaneous trips between the two of them. Friends begin to sense something going on, families wonder why they come as a package, and strangers assume they're in a relationship.

Feelings appeared so sudden. Back then, Kyuhyun knew that what he was feeling towards the older was more than friends. He liked him, and he wanted to keep him right by his side. And before he knew it, he and Sungmin stood in front of each other, confessing their feelings. Nothing changed, only the label and admitting their relationship to their loved ones.

They were a match made in heaven. The ideal couple that everyone envied because not only did they look good together, they were an example of a healthy relationship. And Kyuhyun cherished every single time they were together. The relationship was handled with so much fragility, afraid that it would disappear in a blink of an eye.

They had bumps along the road, most of which were easily handled. But it grew and grew until it was out of their control. Their breakup was quiet. Agreed to go back to their previous friendship, even though Kyuhyun knew it would never be the same. Glances were exchanged over hang-outs, eyes yearning for something that couldn’t be said freely.

It would've been easy if they broke up in a tumultuous way. Or ended right before they graduate. But it was the middle of their summer break, the two of them off to junior year. While love bloomed in the friend group, Kyuhyun and Sungmin drifted apart.

If there was a chance, Kyuhyun would reverse time and apologize. Admit all his mistakes and beg for him to stay. Sungmin would also do the same. And they would make up and act like there was nothing wrong between them. Yet Kyuhyun was afraid of taking that big leap. Would everything be different if he did jump off that cliff and trusted his gut? Would they still fulfill those promises and plans for the future ahead of them?

The universe was so kind to them. Why did it have to interfere?

So Kyuhyun it all up until he reached medical school. Let his wounds bleed when Sungmin introduced his new partner. Bleed until it dried and sealed with time and ignorance. At night, he picked on the scabs and cried at their pain. Coupled with replays of that fateful day or lingering in the alternate universe where they lived happily ever after.

“Is he the one that got away?” Kyuhyun remembered Hyukjae asking when they met by the Han River. Instead of crying, Kyuhyun stared at the ripples that the river makes. The moonlight cascaded down and created little sparkles on the water.

He drew in a breath. It was shaky. “He is.”

The tie is too tight around his neck, even though he made sure it was still loose-fitting. Sweat escapes on his forehead when it’s already cold. The table begins to fill up with their friends, remarking how Kyuhyun finally got the chance to get out of the emergency room.

“I’m this close to changing my address because I’ve been living there 24/7,” Kyuhyun jokes, measuring with his thumb and index finger.

He’s seated between Heechul and Siwon. The two of them promised that they won’t make it awkward. When Sungmin arrives, he jokes that he managed to one-up Ryeowook. “To be fair Sungmin-ah,” Jungsoo raises, “He’s running late because Kanghoon woke up late.” Sungmin and Ryeowook were always the latecomers. The only time Sungmin was early was during his relationship with Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun joins in the fanfare. Watches Sungmin sit by the head of the table and engage in a conversation with Youngwoon and Donghae. When he made sure that Sungmin has settled in, Kyuhyun averts his gaze and starts to comment on Hankyung’s current business venture in Guangzhou.

Over dinner, Kyuhyun would catch Sungmin's glances in his direction. And Kyuhyun would do the same. Turning his eyes away in a split second because he didn't want his friends to notice. Conversations continue to rise, flitting from Kyuhyun's upcoming conferences to Jungsoo's next business venture with his brother-in-law.

After dinner, they move from the function room to the empty restaurant patio. Some opt to sit by the tables, huge umbrellas neatly folded in the middle. Others stand, with polite hands behind their back and engage in a conversation ranging from politics to economics to their current life trajectory. Kyuhyun moves away from the noise, staying almost by the edge to watch the night sky.

Somehow, the night sent in a cool breeze to announce a new arrival. "Hey."

Kyuhyun turns his head and sees Sungmin already taking his place beside him. "Hey, hyung."

"Glad you came over," Sungmin starts, "We haven't had a proper talk since my wedding."

Kyuhyun chuckles and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Well, life happened, hyung. And also work." Sungmin laughs at his remark. They catch up on their life lately and exchange interesting stories about their friends and mutual acquaintances. Like how they were before they became a couple. A low-maintenance friendship.

But behind the chuckles and witty remarks was an uncomfortable sensation arising in his heart that makes his way up. Kyuhyun does his best to ignore it, hoping that it'll resolve on its own as the night progresses. It did unearth a recent event that would be of importance soon — catching Sungmin and Saeun entering an OB-GYNE's clinic. Kyuhyun should be happy, yet it left a melancholic mood throughout that day.

Like any other couple, Kyuhyun and Sungmin had plans.

Kyuhyun would pursue medical school, while Sungmin ventures into business or proceed with graduate school. They'll live in a huge house on the outskirts of Seoul, or in a high-end apartment complex with their pets. Either of them would bring the other to school or work. They'll save up for their yearly out-of-country trips, or Kyuhyun would bring Sungmin along to his conferences.

The prospect of starting a family was also in their plan. Once they've settled down and after reaching their goals, that would be the time that they'll have their own little family. A son and a daughter, or twins. Whichever Sungmin likes. Then they'll watch them grow up and Sungmin would experience empty nest syndrome. Kyuhyun would console him, reminding him that it's part of life. They'll grow old together and eventually rest in each other's arms.

Kyuhyun only saw Sungmin in his future. Options were considered only if they aligned with Sungmin's plans. It was a big leap, despite only being in their early months of freshmen year in college. But Kyuhyun was so determined to put all it together. And so was Sungmin.

But seasons changes, plans needed back-up, and feelings were shaken.

The get-together finishes on a lighter note, and Heechul promises that there will be another one soon. The group disperse, and Kyuhyun notices that Sungmin didn't bring his car along. "Do you want me to take you home?" Kyuhyun offers when they were the only ones left outside of the restaurant.

He watches as Sungmin's face contorts into some kind of hesitation. Before he looks up at him and gives him a soft smile. "Sure."

They walk to Kyuhyun's car located at the farther end of the parking space. Silence encircles them, while the night breeze gently touches their arms. Once they reached Kyuhyun's silver Hyundai Accent, he opens the door and gestured for Sungmin to enter the shotgun seat.

"Am I not out of your way?" Sungmin asks after securing his seatbelt.

Kyuhyun shakes his head as he twists the car key into the ignition. "It's fine, hyung," he puts on his seatbelt, securing it on the other side, "I have to bring you back in one piece. Or else Saeun-ssi will kill us."

Sungmin chuckles at the remark while Kyuhyun backs away from his parking space. Once the younger successfully reverses the car, he makes a turn out of the parking lot and into the road. Only a few cars and the last bus trips occupy the main road. The lights from various store signages help in illuminating their path.

Minutes into the car ride, words and conversations are left unsaid. Neither of them bother to turn on the radio, which can add more noise to their restless minds. Kyuhyun belatedly processed the fact that he was in the same place as Sungmin, his ex. The one who held his heart like it was the most precious thing in the world. The one who understood him better than himself. And even though they're acting like they're fine, Kyuhyun knows that he's far from the truth.

The red stoplight welcomes Kyuhyun's car at an intersection. He clears his throat, "You can place your address on the GPS. I kinda forgot where you lived."

"I mean, you managed to get on the right road," Sungmin says as he types in his address, "That means you can still remember it."

Oh, how Kyuhyun wants to tell Sungmin that he wants to forget every single thing about him so badly. But he brushes it off with a small chuckle, browsing the map that leads to the older's place.

As the stoplight turns green, Kyuhyun didn't expect the incoming question. "Kyuhyun-ah, are we okay?"

Kyuhyun is taken back to that fateful day. When they simply agreed to break up, because it wasn't getting anywhere. This was the very same question that Sungmin asked afterward. How he pretended that everything is fine but he locked himself in his room for two days. How he managed to put on a smile and act like nothing has changed in their friendship despite the tumultuous feeling occupying Kyuhyun's chest.

Kyuhyun's hold on the steering wheel is tight. Knuckles turning pale but already formulating an excuse that it's because of the cold. "Yeah," he answers, "We're okay. Why'd you ask?" He didn't bother to glance at the older. Eyes focused on the road to forcefully push the emotional weight down.

"Kyu." Kyuhyun can feel Sungmin's intense stare at him. "I know you."

No, you don't, Kyuhyun wants to say. You don't know how I managed to keep a straight face when my feelings are driving me crazy.

Is he lying to himself again?

"We've been in a relationship for almost 7 years. And we continued our friendship after that," Sungmin continues, "and I know if something's bothering you or not."

Are they going to have this conversation at this ungodly hour? While Kyuhyun is driving and his mind is all over the place? Wounds in his heart start to bleed again. A dull, aching pain radiated across his chest. He maintains an emotionless face — it's something that he learned over time in medical practice.

Kyuhyun doesn't say a word. So Sungmin takes it as a sign to start. He always takes silence as an affirmation. "I'm sorry about what happened to us back then. Looking back, we didn't process it well. Despite telling ourselves that we were okay with this."

They stop at another intersection. The yellow light greeted them before turning red. Kyuhyun shifts his gaze at the moving cars in front of him. Sungmin turns to Kyuhyun's direction, "And we act like we're back to being best friends, but I can sense your discomfort." He pauses, and Kyuhyun hopes that the older's done speaking the bitter truth. Until he says, "And you think I didn't know why you didn't attend my wedding."

, Kyuhyun thinks. He's cornered.

But then again, if they never really confronted it, Kyuhyun would still live with the pain. He convinced himself that time would heal him — heal them both — but it's been so long and the wounds never bothered to heal themselves. Even though it's mostly Kyuhyun's fault for picking at it many times. If healing is the only option, he has no choice but to face it. For the last time. Accept the fact that whatever they had is behind them. That he and Sungmin are a thing of the past, and work on the friendship they took so long to build before them happened.

"I'm sorry," Kyuhyun mumbles. He takes all the courage to look in Sungmin's direction and into Sungmin's eyes. "I admit that I wasn't okay even after the break-up. I thought I'll be fine, joking around like the old times." There's a certain softness in the older's eyes that Kyuhyun notices.

Tears threaten to fall at the corner of Kyuhyun's eyes, so he pushes himself to proceed. Hoping that it would stay there. "But hyung, it hurts. It hurts like and I hate feeling this. Because you're finally okay, you found someone who cherishes you. And here I am, still stuck in the past."

The red light turns green, and the car behind them honks a little too loud. Kyuhyun breaks his gaze at the older before making a swift turn into an empty street and parking on one side. He doesn't let go of the gear, eyes landing on it because he couldn't afford to look at his ex straight. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I haven't moved on. But I'm learning to accept the fact that we are two separate people now."

Kyuhyun looks at the street in front of him. It's empty at an hour like this. And he silently thanks it, so he could stare at it while admitting his unsaid feelings to the person beside him. "Maybe if I got a little braver, I would've fought for our relationship. But I didn't want to scare you. And the both of us knew it was the end." Kyuhyun's voice lingered on the last few words.

It was the truth. And Kyuhyun couldn't accept that fact.

The clouds start to crowd the Seoul night sky. Sungmin had to be home soon before the rain falls. Clutching on the gear and stepping on the gas pedal, the car sets off and returns to their travel home.

Another round of silence. Stoplights are set on green. As if the universe wants Kyuhyun out of this mess before the tears fall completely. But in the stillness, a comfortable warmth settles in Kyuhyun's chest. As if weights have been lifted from his shoulders after that confession.

This is what Kyuhyun probably needed: letting Sungmin know that he's hurt, that he's still struggling to come to terms with it. There's nothing he could do now but wish him the best in life. And maybe this is the first step for Kyuhyun to heal — a slow process that requires patience and understanding.

Sungmin is, really, the one that got away. But he couldn't turn back time. The what-ifs will continue to linger. And sooner or later, it'll disappear and be fond stories that he'll look back.

In his current state of mind, Kyuhyun assures himself that he'll be fine. That this feeling won't last. And once Sungmin climbs out of this vehicle, it's time for him to move on as well.

"I'm sorry," Sungmin quietly says when the GPS reads there are only 30 minutes left before they arrive at his home. Kyuhyun's hold on the steering wheel is already loose after the realization dawned on him.

"It's okay, hyung," Kyuhyun already finds himself accepting the apology. Long overdue, but better late than never. The wounds begin to heal on their own. There's no need for him to put on metaphorical bandages. Those three words encapsulate the hope of (really) moving on from the relationship, albeit a slow and tedious journey to healing.

And even though he wanted to remain close to Sungmin, Kyuhyun thinks it was best to take some time off. Hoping that his friends would understand why it has been a struggle for him to come to terms with it.

The car stops in front of a building that Kyuhyun believes is Sungmin's apartment complex. Somewhere up there is Sungmin and Saeun's home. Kyuhyun looks at Sungmin getting ready to leave, but the older takes a look at him for the last time. On Sungmin's face is an unreadable expression, but it lies between longing and bitterness.

"Hey, I don't need your pity. I'll be fine," Kyuhyun chuckles, shaking off the tense atmosphere and hoping it'll make Sungmin smile a little. And Sungmin did.

"Are you sure? You can tell me if you need space," Sungmin says, "I'll understand."

It's tempting for him to go back to relying on the older. But if he wants to be free from this emotional dungeon, and to move on completely from this mess, Kyuhyun had to learn to set boundaries too. So he sends him a small smile before muttering a soft "Good night" and letting Sungmin step out of the car.

The conversations that night are enough for Kyuhyun to finally accept the end. He didn't necessarily need Sungmin's pity or wish that they could go back to the way they were. All Kyuhyun ever wanted was that closure.

And sure, the what-ifs and would-have-been would continue to plague him. But at least Kyuhyun will be aware of its presence, slowly coming to terms with it not happening. Time will be his best buddy for now.

The rain falls once Kyuhyun got home. He couldn't wait to sleep soundly.

Author's Note: I've been itching to write a KyuMin fic after putting the 1 by Taylor Swift (and tyl by Kakie) on repeat. And I also wanted this out of my system while I'm in clerkship >< Idk, they just fit the prompt so bad that they deserve the heartbreak I've put them lol- I hope you enjoyed reading the revamped ver of "Only One" — now with a new title and new story ><

Anyway! I hope you liked the fic and I'll see you folks on the next one~

Connect with me? :) @codenametitanic

Un-beta-ed, 3748 words, crossposted on LiveJournal