There's a moment I've been chasing,
And I finally caught it out on this floor
Baby, there's no hesitation, no reservation
By taking a chance and more

- YESUNG -

This is it, I thought as I looked around the silent dorm. The guys are still asleep, and they were really tired from their hectic schedule yesterday. Now, today is another hectic schedule for us.

I was the first one to wake up. Normally, Teukie-umma would wake up first or Hankyung-hyung, but today I woke up early because I'm expecting a letter today.

My enlistment letter.

I'm the next one who will enter the army after Teukie-umma. Only the others knew it, except Wookie. I'm not yet ready to tell this to him, since he'll be desperate.

Someone knocked on the door quietly, so I tiptoed towards the door.

"Is Kim Jong-woon living here?" the messenger asked.

"Yes," I answered softly.

He gave me my enlistment letter, and left the dorm immediately. As I close the door, the enlistment letter was right before me.

I guess this is goodbye.

I quietly went upstairs to sleep again, hoping no one would wake up. I crept up into Teukie-umma and Kangin-appa's room. I saw Teukie-umma fixing himself up, while Kangin-appa's still asleep.

I was about to go when Teukie-umma saw me. "Jongwoon?" he called out quietly.

"Ne umma?" I answered as I opened the door gently.

"You okay?" he asked me as he walked towards the door where I was.

"I'm fine umma, I'm just desperate," I answered, trying to hide my tears.

He understood my feelings, so he went outside and led me downstairs. "Come, let's have a talk," he insisted.

He prepared coffee for us, while I sat down on the dining table with the enlistment letter still in my hands.

So this is how Heechul-hyung, Teukie-umma and Kangin-appa feels.

"So you already received your enlistment letter," Teukie-umma said as he saw me looking at my hands. My head lifted up, trying to hide my tears.

I nodded dumbly, still trying to hold my tears. He looked at me again, then he patted my hand. "It's okay. You can let it go," he told me.

I cried as much as I can, thinking of every single moment I'll be with Wookie before I would enter the army. Sometimes, I would think that leaving him now is way better than staying longer.

It's for us, anyways.

"Umma, I can't leave Wookie. I love him so much," I said as I calmed down. I wiped my tears from my now-red puffy eyes, while he sat down beside me, sipping his cup of coffee.

"Yesung-ah, remember the time when I learned Kangin's enlistment to the army?" he recalled. I nodded, remembering what happened that moment.

~

He was crying so hard, not wanting Appa to let go. All of us were crying, until to the point we accompanied him to the military baase.

"We'll miss you so much, Appa," I remembered Wookie said that as he held onto him tight. Appa patted him, then slowly released his grip.

"Appa, take care," Minnie would say for the last time. He would always say that to him, when he learned he'll leave for the army.

"Yeobo, take good care of yourself. I love you," Umma finally said as he gave Appa his last kiss and hug. Before he would enter, all of us had a group hug.

"Bye Appa! See you soon!" we finally said before Appa entered the military.

~

"Umma, you were devastated that time," I recalled, making him form tears. I hugged him tight, making him ease a little.

"Yesungie, I know that after me, you'll enter the military next. Just tell Wookie about this, let's just hope that he'll immediately accept this," Teukie-umma said, as he wiped his tears.

I sighed, then looked at my enlistment letter I had in my hands. Umma smiled at me, and held my hands into his.

"It'll be okay, Yesungie. It's okay," he said, calming me down. I nodded, then I hugged him tight.

"Thanks umma. I love you," I told him, breaking off from the hug. He smiled at me and sipped his cup. "I love you too, my dear."

- - -

There's a dream that I've been chasing,
Want so badly for it to be reality.
And when you hold my hand then I understand
That it's meant to be.

- RYEOWOOK - 

I woke up without someone beside me. I looked around where he is, but he's nowhere to be found. I then decided to go downstairs.

Strange. Yesungie's with Teukie-umma. What's wrong?

For me, if you're with umma, it only mean one thing: something's wrong. I decided to talk to them, but I know I'll just disturb them.

"Umma, are you sure I should tell this to Wookie?" I heard Yesungie asked Umma.

Tell me what?

"I'm sure he'll accept it immediately, Yesungie. It's okay," Umma said, maybe trying to calm his nerves.

I immediately sat on the couch, trying to cry. Is there something Yesungie didn't tell me?Is he making it harder for me to accept?

Just then as I was about to sleep on the couch, someone stood in front of me.

Kim Jong-woon. My Yesung.

"You okay?" he asked me, ruffling my messy hair. I smiled, then nodded.

"I have something to tell you, Wookie," he said in a serious tone.

I closed my eyes, trying not to hear the bad news. But as I opened my eyes again, I saw an envelope in his hands.

He's going to the army? No. It can't be.

"You're leaving us?" I asked sadly, now forming tears in my eyes. He suddenly hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"Yes. I have to," he answered. He sat down beside me, trying to comfort me now. "When?" I asked, not lifting my head.

"After Teukie-umma's enlistment, I'll go next," he said. I hugged him tight, then tears started to flow in my eyes.

I wouldn't blame him why he needs to go, byt why now? I'm not yet ready to see him leave me. I can't.

"Please don't make this painful, please," I begged, standing up. He backhugged me, making me cry more. How could he do this to me?

"You're the only one who didn't know this. I'm so afraid that you'll be devastated. I don't want you to be like Umma when Appa left us 2 years ago. I love you Wookie, but everytime I see you cry, it's harder for me to let go," he said, resting his head on my shoulder.

Why does it have to be so painful?

He breathed in by my neck, inhaling the sweet scent I have. He nuzzled onto my neck, making him hug me tighter. I soothed him, signalling him to be gentle a bit. I entwined my fingers around his, hopefully calming him down.

So how will I accept this? Will I ever accept his departure? If I couldn't accept Umma's depature, then what about Yesungie's? Would I be devastated like him? Would I cry out loud every night?

Seeing him in pain makes me in pain. It's hard to let go, but it's the only way. If I just let him go, will he ever think twice that I'm better off without his warmth, his gentle side? I love him, but I have to let go.

- - -

Let the music blast, we gon' do our dance.
Bring the doubters on, they don't matter at all.
'Cause this life's too long, and this love's too strong.
So, baby, what we know for sure that I'll never let you go.

- 3RD PERSON -

Ryeowook just stood there by the window, with Yesung behind him, hugging him. He has been looking outside, thinking of letting his lover go before his heart would break.

He closed his eyes for the last time, and slowly let go of his lover's grip. He has been thinking hard, wheter to allow his Yesung or not to join the military.

It must be hard without him for the first few days, he thought as he let go from the hug. All that time, Leeteuk has been looking at them. Yesung has been whimpering softly, while Ryeowook ignored him, paying attention to the silent outside world.

Leeteuk decided to talk to his eternal dongsaeng. He then felt the emotions he felt when Kangin left for the army. Now that his yeobo is back, it's now his turn to leave.

"Ryeowook-ah?" he called out quietly. Ryeowook turned around and walked quietly towards his umma. Yesung stayed by the couch, wailing and whimpering softly. He wanted Ryeowook, he'll miss him.

The etenral maknae looked at Yesung first, then at his umma. He walked up towards Leeteuk and hugged him. "It's probably hard accepting his departure, isn't it?" he started. He felt Ryewook nod.

Ryeowook cried, not because of what Leeteuk said, but with what he's feeling now. He's confused, he's frustrated. He can't even think. What should he do?

"I can't let him go, Teuk-hyung. I love him. I just can't let him go," the eternal amkne said. He heard Leeteuk sigh.

"You must let him go. Don't worry, the pain will be over before you know it," he assured his crying dongsaeng. He patted his head and lets go from the hug.

"Go talk to Yesung-ah, arasso?" he said. Ryeowook nodded, and Leeteuk left the living room, going upstairs again to sleep again with his Kangin.

Ryeowook walked towards his lover, hands clenched, eyes puffy. He wanted to break down beside Yesung. He wanted him to stay. He wanted him to be with him forever.

"Yesungie?" he called out. His lover turned around, and patted a space beside him. Ryeowook understood hi signal, and sat down beside him.

Ryeowook leaned on Yesung's shoulder, entwining his hands with his. Yesung kissed his lover's hand, and kissed his head.

"So," Yesung started off, his voice wobbly. "It's just 2 years, Yesungie," Ryeowook immediately cut him off. Yesung smiled, the smile that makes his eternal lover blush.

Ryeowook looked at his lover and smiled. "Let's just make each second count, my turtle," he added. Yesung blushed. "We will, my giraffe," he finally said,

And that night, Ryeowook then accepted his Yesungie's departure. He just hope that he'll be okay, and he'll be safe. Ryeowook snuggled up beside his lover, and drifted off to sleep on the couch.