Days, weeks then months passes by and both of us remain the same. Awkward and less affectionate than what we used to be. Heads turns away quickly whenever our eyes met just to avoid the unknown feelings of ‘What should i do now that we’re looking at each other?’

Neither of us knows when or how it started. But it just did. Slowly and quietly but it does leave a trace to be seen by the others.

FLASHBACK

“Taeyeon........”

“I gotta go. Later.”

------

“Taeng... Can w----”

“Can we do this later?”

-------

“Tae...”

“Tiffany! Bye Sica... Later.”

------

“T---”

------

“Bye Tae...”

END OF FLASHBACK

I lied.

I do remember of how or when it happened.

Later.

An empty word that you says just to keep me away from you. The word that haunts me until today that stops me from trying just because I know...

Later means never. Later means... Don’t talk to me because I don’t want to talk or deal with you.

“Later means go away.”

FLASHBACK

“I like you. As in, love you.”

That was the last thing Taeyeon manage to say with a big smile before everything starts crumbling down. A stunned girl stood before her not knowing how to respond without breaking the other heart.

Time is ticking but silence, because there's no word will sound right at the moment.

“KIM TAEYEON! JESSICA! What are you guys still doing inside the room? Hurry up kids, it’s almost our turn!” Tiffany said with a loud voice just outside the waiting room breaking the two girls who’s stuck in a trance.

Few step backwards, and she turns around.

“I’m coming Tiff!” She mouthed ‘later’ to the older girl before completely leaving the room.

Hints of sadness visible through her eyes but still manage to fake a smile as she walk out the room but it doesn’t go unnoticed to a pair warm eyes who has been watching since she step out of the room.

END OF FLASHBACK

I made a mistake.

Eavesdropping on someone was never a good thing. I guess, I learnt my lesson.

But that’s when everything went downhill between us and I don’t think there’s a turning back.

I’m sorry but it hurts.

FLASHBACK

“AWKWARD! IT WAS SO DAMN AWKWARD!” I heard someone’s voice from inside one of the room in the dorm and I walk closer to it so I could listen better.

“Yah! Lower your voice please. She’s inside the dorm you know..” Another familiar voice was heard.

“I know.. But can you imagine... SHE LIKE ME. Like, LIKE ME..... and the fact that she confessed to me just... AND HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO REACT?! Hahahha Taeyeon what a joke! But I’m sorry to break the news that I’m not gay and if I am you’re not going to be my choice.. Like this?”

“Yah! You are just overreacting... Calm down.”

“Come on Tiff.... I might go out to grab a glass of water in the kitchen and bump into her. So please, a help might be good at the moment.” I felt something on my cheeks realize its tears. I wanted to walk away and just get lost but my feet betray me, my hands betrayed me as it holds onto the door knob and turns it open.

“Sica...” My voice was slow but loud enough to be heard.

“Tae....... Taeyeon!”

“Just forget what I said earlier..”

I slammed the door hard and walk away. Grab my coats and car keys and head for an exit. I just need to get out and off with the world but before I manage to set my foot out the door a pair of hands already pull me backwards and hug me tight. So tight that I could barely move.

“Taeyeon.. Calm down. I got you... You have me..... Cry. I’ll hold you.” I tried to fight her to get myself out from the place but she’s stronger and keeps her hugs tight. “Don’t drive when you’re mad, it’s dangerous. Just let everything out on me if you need to.”

I notice two figure coming towards us but before I could see their face she already turn me around to face the other side then I heard their footsteps walking away from us. My sobs getting louder and she hum a melodic lullaby as she rubs my back.

END OF FLASHBACK

People said, ignorance is a bliss.

Not seeing you is a bliss, at the moment. I fake a smile at you when we’re in public but I more prefer to not seeing or standing next to you wherever or whenever.

I guess, ignoring you is a bliss.

But in a way when I’m not looking, I hurt more people while I try so hard to ignore you. People who are truly care about me. People who I should paid more attention instead of taking them or more specific, her for granted just because she’s willing to be here.

Right next to me.

I’m sorry that it’s you who gets hurt now.

FLASHBACK

“Ah.. Finally! Our job for today has ended!!!” I chuckled as I watch the Shikshin screams her lungs out once we step inside the dorm. Funny.

“Sica, let’s talk.” I heard a stern voice behind me so I turn around. She’s hurting and has been verbally venting it out to the person who hurts her and the other person just let her because guilt have eaten her alive.

I watch as she hesitantly following her.

“What the hell are you doing?! Enough with all the fans call you lazy, doesn’t mean that you really need to show and do it!” This, one of the few times when Taeyeon decides to acknowledge Jessica’s presence and I’ve tried to break them apart but nothing comes out except, few harsh word to me from the latter.

You just don’t know how much you meant to me, Taeyeon.

“Taeyeon, enough. We are all tired. Let’s just go get some sleep and we’ll talk nicely later, okay?” Once again I try to break them apart because I knew the others wouldn’t dare to get in between them after everything that had happened. Tiffany had try breaking them apart from verbally hurting each other only to get hurt herself.

“Stop siding with her..!” She glared at me. I pull Jessica behind and step in between both of them, just in case.

“It’s fine to betray me but don’t you dare tattering with the group’s name. If you can’t handle being in this group then, just leave! We don’t need you Sica. I’m sick of you!” She yells as she glare at both, Jessica and I.

“Taeyeon!” I hissed. I never thought those words will come out from . I love her so much than she could imagine, but these girls are also my sisters.

“Unnie.....” The maknae have a worried look on her face. We’ve seen their fights many times but it never gone this bad. No one ever said anything about asking a member to leave. And this, it’s just escalated quickly.

“Just go away Sunny! It’s between us, and YOU KNOW NOTHING!” Did I heard shattering glasses somewhere or is it my heart? She try to push me away so she could be standing directly at Jessica but I can feel a shaky hands already clutching my shirt from behind trying to shield herself from Taeyeon, and it breaks my heart even more.

“What had happen before was about you and her, but asking her to leave is about us Tae.” I grabbed her hands stopping her from trying to reach to Jessica behind me.  I can feel tears on my own eyes.

“Don’t touch me you midget!” I struggled to keep her hands with me as she fought it and more harsh words comes out from that little mouth.

“What’s wrong with you today Taeyeon?!” I try to hug and calm her down but she harshly pushes me and I stumble backwards and fell on the floor with a loud thud.

Hurts and more hurt.

Time stops. Loud thuds, loud gasp and wide eyes happened all at the same times.

“U-un--nie..”

“YAH! KIM TAEYEON!!”

END OF FLASHBACK

hi....... is it confusing? 

hehh.

i promise this one will be finish by the end of the week.

thank you.

^^