Carmen died in the ICU, when the cancer, finally stopped her heart.

***

" Jongdae, you okay ? " Tao asked.

" Yeah, I'm okay. " I give him a smile. " You should go look for Hope. "

" Okay, talk to you later alright ? " And he walked away.

When I first got there, I sat in the back of the vistation room. For a while , I just looked at the people. All these people I'd never seen before would kneel down next to her and look at her for a while. Or maybe crying. And then all of them would touch the coffin instead of touching her, because no one wants to touch the dead. Cam's mom and dad were standing next to the coffin, hugging everybody as the passed. When they noticed me, they smiled. I hugged his mom and then his dad.

" She loved you so much, Jongdae. " Cam's mom said. I knew she did, I did too.

" She loved you a lot too. " I said quietly. " I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Harper. " It must've been hard. And then my parents came over to talk  to them. I leave them alone and walked up the makeshift aisle between the rows of flower.

I can do this, I kept telling myself. Don't cry. I could see her as I approached: Her long hair was tied neatly into a braid. Just like when we went to the beach. Her face were plasticized. But she was still Carmen. My strong, beautiful Carmen.

As I knelt, her eyes were closed. As if she's sleeping. I would never again see her brown eyes. " I love you, Carmen Harper. " I whispered, and then put my hand on her hand and said, " It's okay, Carmen. It's okay. Everyone's okay. You hear me ? " I know that she couldn't hear me. But I say it anyways, " Promise ? " I said. " Promise. " I leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

I reached for my pocket and pulled her phone out. I've screenshot a picture of us when we video called each other for the very first time. And I set it as her background wallpaper. I hope no one behind would notice, I snuck them into the space between her side and the coffin's plush pink lining. " This time, no one will hang up. " I whispered. " No one will say goodbye. "

After that, I gave her one last look and said, " I love you mostest too. We both win. " Then I went to sit with my parents at the second row. The minister started talking.Then, he called up Hope.

" Carmen is not replaceable.  " She began. " She's such an amazing person. She made this wishlist and she told me that she would deifnitely achieve all 100 wishes in that wishlist. " I stopped listening.

100 wishes ? I thought there were only 99. I kept thinking and thinking. Until the minister said, " We'll now hear a few words from Carmen's boyfriend, Kim Jongdae. " And I began reading the eulogy I written last night.

" Carmen Harper. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She just came up to me and gave me a box of macaroons. I'm not saying that I fall in love with girls who gives me a box of macaroons. It wasn't about the macaroons. It was her. That was the last box of macaroons, when it was my turn, they were all sold out. And, Carmen. Carmen Harper decides to give me the macaroons just because I helped an old lady crossed the road. Her reason was that simple. " I paused. " She was always so caring, but she doesn't love herself enough and that's why I'm here for her. She pushes me away when she knows that I've fallen in love with her. Because she doesn't want to hurt me. But, Carmen, my macaroon girl, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for the days we've spent together. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Not even for a box of macaroons. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, thank you, Carmen. "

With that, I ended my speech. 

***

I went outside and I saw Tao and Hope.

" Hope.  " I called. She heard me, and she was walking towards my direction.

" You said there were 100 wishes on her wishlist. But when she showed me ther was only a 99 wishes. " I couldn't stop thinking about the 100th wish. " She told me she achieved all her wishes too. " I'm confused,

" Jongdae, check your wallet. " Tao said.

" She had a 100 wishes, and all 100 of them came true. " Hope said, her eyes were red and puffy.

I searched my pocket for my wallet. I opened it. Inside my wallet, there's this little pocket.

There was a piece of paper. It wasn't there before.

" She told me to tell you that she hid it there when you were asleep. " Tao said, hugging Hope as she started to cry.

" I thought you knew. " Hope choked up.

I took it out. The outline of the paper was obviously tore.

***

100. Be with someone I love ( / )