We went for the carousel while Hope and Tao went for the roller coasters.

Jongdae helped me to get on it, and after that he sat on the horse that was beside mine.

" You okay ? " Jongdae asked.

" Yep. Just a little tired. " I feel sleepy already.

" We'll go back to the hotel after this, okay ? "

" Okay. "

When the ride was over. Jongdae helped me with my wheelchair. He put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. Then, we went back to our hotel.

I opened my luggage. I took Jongdae's sweater out and wears it.

" Carmen. " He saw the sweater.

" I'm not giving this back to you. I want to keep it with me, is that okay ? "

" You can keep it, if. " he paused. " You allow me to sleep with you tonight. "

" Okay. "

Hope and Tao were still at the theme park, so it's just the both of us in the room.

He got into bed as we lay there together under the covers. Both of us were facing each other. Jongdae wrapped his arms around me and rest his neck on my soft hazel brown hair. I didn't know what to do. All I did was bury my head in his broad chest, I was so close to him that I could smell the scent of his body; apples, sweet apples. He smiled, showing off his dimples, " You're suppose to put your arms here." He took my left hand and placed it on his waist; and then my right hand on the pillow and he rest his cheek on my palm.

I felt his heartbeat on his chest, slow and steady just like a rhythm.

I looked up to face him. He smiled thinly. How I wished the time would stop, I want this moment to last forever. When I got his face nose-touchingly close, I pulled him closer to me and made sure there was no space between us. Then I parted my lips and kissed him.

" I love you, Kim Jongdae. " I snuggle in close.

" I love you more, Carmen Harper. "

" I love you mostest. So I win. "

***

The next morning, our last day in Paris. I remembered my wish. I need a macaroon.

Jongdae and I found a patisserie, I got myself a macaroon. I took a bite, it was pale tangerine, like the whispers of a last sunset.

" Thank you, " I said. " My wishlist is complete. "

" I'm proud of you. " Jongdae said as he scoots close to me.His hand reaches out and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.

After that, we went to some souvenir shops and bought loads of stuff. Then, it's time to head back to the hotel and pack up.

***

37. Eat a macaroon in Paris ( / )

99. Kiss someone ( / )

***

On the flight home, my chest hurts.

" Carmen, are you okay ? " Jongdae realized.

I shook my head, fists clenched, " Jongdae, my backpack. Pills. Please. "

He got my seat-back tray to its upright and locked position and bent forward to dig pills out of my backpack.

I swallowed one with water that was given by a flight attendant earlier on.

" Carmen. Feeling better ? " Jongdae holds my hand.

The pain reduced a little bit, but my chest still hurts.

" Mmhmm. " I gave his hand a squeeze.

I wish that he would be okay if I died.

***

Once we reached the airport, I'm starting to lose conscious.

" Cam. " Hope said. She was bout to cry. "Oh my god. Tao, call the ambulance. "

But my eye lids were so heavy, I closed them and my head swiveling on my neck.

" Carmen. " Jongdae said. " Stay with me. "  He holds my hand.

" Promise me. " He said.

" Promise. " I think I'm gonna die.

" You're gonna be okay, Cam. " Hope said.

I heard the sirens. And then, there was only silence.

***

I woke up and I was in the ICU again. Mom and dad was there. Mom was crying again.

" Dad, am I dead ? " I feel really weak, I think it's time.

" It's gonna be alright, Carmen. " My dad started crying too.

" Can you please get Jongdae, Hope and Tao for me. "

" Okay, sweetie. Wait for me, okay ? "

" Okay. " When dad left, my mom my hair.

" It's okay to let go. " So I am dying.

" Mom, don't cry. " I put my hand on hers. " I love you. "

" I love you too. "

***

After awhile, dad was back with the three of them. Hope and Tao were crying. Jongdae came and kissed my forehead.

" It's okay, Cam. " He wasn't crying, and I'm glad he didn't. " I'm here. "

" Cam. " Hope said, holding on to Tao. " You'll always be my buddy. You got that ? "

I nod. " I love you too, Hope. "

I looked at Tao, " Take good care of Hope alright, or I'll haunt you. "

" Jongdae, take this. " I reached for my pocket and took a star keychain with his name engraved on it.. " It's your own star. I bought it when we were at the souvenir shop. "

" You named a star after me ? " Jongdae took it, and smiled.

" No, I thought about it but then I named it Carmen Harper. But there's already a star named Kim Jongdae and he's right here in front of me and he's the brightest star among all the stars up there. " I paused, I couldn't breathe properly. " So I wanted to make sure that whenever he feels lonely he can look up at the sky.

He started crying.

" And no matter where I am he can know that I'm looking down at him. " I wiped his tears away.

" Before you go, I have one more question for you, Carmen. " Jongdae holds my hand. " Why am I the one who always ends our call ? "

" Because. " I said. " I don't want to say goodbye to you. Goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. "

He smiled, a tear rolled down his cheek.

" And I don't want to forget you. " I'm so tired. 

That's it, I think I see Mr. Sandman waiting for me already.

" I love you, " I looked at each and everyone of them, and say the 3 words.

I wasn't afraid. Because I was surrounded by the people I loved most.

" Promise ? " Jongdae asked, one last time. When it was his turn.

With my last breath, I smiled, " Promise. "