{  Daesung  } 

         "Daesung-ah."            I rolled my eyes at the corner to look at Wookie hyung, who had his arms crossed and the side of his upper arm was leaning against Jiyong hyung's doorframe. He had his finest tiny bit of a weak smile appeared over his lip, as he watched his boyfriend, Jiyong hyung and Lee Seung Hyun quarrel. He didn't look at me, meant that he had a serious talk to deal with. It took him some seconds before he managed a mute sigh, even his shoulders slump down. "... you have to let him go."            My eyes twitched at the final seconds as he spoke. My head slowly followed where my eyes were heading to, which was at Wookie hyung. "What do you mean, hyung?" I took about a half-turn and eventually lean the back of my body against the other side of Jiyong hyung's doorframe. A lot of thoughts spilled around in my mind, and I don't think that those kind of thoughts would make me happier. I had a feeling that I won't like what would come after Wookie hyung's lip. It's not that I don't know what things he would spit out. It's just that, I tried not to know about it. Maybe I choose not to hear it.            Yes. I knew I'm a coward, who ran away from the truth.               Kang Daesung; a runner who avoid from the truth, from the reality.             "Don't be like this, Daesung-ah. I know that you understand what I meant," he turn his head to connect his eyes with mine. It occupied with nothing but concern. It somehow appeared to be feeling sorry; apologetic. "You have to let him go," he repeated. "Hyung really sorry, Dae, but you misunderstood. Jiyong never had a feeling on me, except of dongsaeng-hyung love. I know Jiyong, and I know who stole his heart. And hyung really, really sorry, Daesungie. That person is not you."            As much as I wanted to run, I couldn't. Since the ache that froze from my heart had halted me to death. My eyes blinked a lot and I'd happen to swallowed hard so the lump that sticks out of my throat kept going in and out. I didn't bite my lower lip, because I might let a tear leaked from my eyes if I did that. I knew that kind of fact; a fact that Jiyong hyung never look at me like the way I look at him. I knew that, it's just that it was hard for me to accept it. And I'm not ready to hear it. That's why I said, I choose not to hear it. "Then...who?" Dang it, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't hide my voice, my cracked voice.            Wookie hyung immediately dropped our eye gazes connection. He seems hesitated, and lost as if he was thinking whether he should tell me or not. His eyes trailed off to the floor, and literally shaking his head.             "Ah Youngbae hyung! Please let me stay here!"           "Lee Seung Hyun! Don't you dare to protest me! Go home, now"                 Wookie hyung lift his apologetic gaze, resting it on mine. He was mouthing of 'sorry', countless of time, even I had lost count on it. He was about to turn his head to the direction at where his boyfriend, Jiyong hyung and Lee Seung Hyun stood at. Nevertheless, he stopped at somewhere half-way when I pleaded him.             "Wookie hyung, no!"             I couldn't say that I was screaming, my voice tone was rather sunk into a whisper.             "I know who's that person. That person whom you're going to look at. Please hyung, I'm begging you to pretend that you didn't know who. Please, I don't think I could accept that fact."             "Daesung-ah, I understand how you feel but you need to know. It's the best that you should know about this earlier. The longer you pretend to not knowing about it, the more blinders pain you're going to trap with."            "Lee Seung Hyun! Come here this instant! I'm going to send you home! And gee, where's your other socks?"            Wookie hyung's boyfriend's voice has make my head spun to him. It's not that his boyfriend's voice caught my attention. I did that on purpose. Maybe that's the only way to tell Wookie hyung that I want this conversation ended. And another way to tell him that I don't want to talk about this kind of conversation ever again. From the corner of my eyes, I could tell that Wookie hyung was still eyeing on me, he was really desperate to continue this fragile talk. Somehow, I got this feeling that he knew me, like he knew that I want it to end, since he dropped his gaze and follow at where I'm looking at.             "Y-Youngbae   " Jiyong hyung took a step forward, a step behind from that Lee Seung Hyun. For a sudden, he cut his words, as if he was hesitated whether he should called that guy 'Youngbae hyung'. "Youngbae h-hyung, I don't mind, really. He could stay here if he wants."             Jiyong hyung, wae?             "Yay!" that Lee Seung Hyun threw his arms around Jiyong hyung's neck, wrapping his legs around Jiyong hyung's waist     he gave Jiyong hyung a koala hug. "But why? Didn't you kick me out this morning?"             "Y-Yah! You should be thankful to me, you punk!" Jiyong hyung's face drown into red, red of embarrassement. "Okay, fine, if that's what you want then go home! Youngbae hyung, please take him home     "             "A-Ah hyung!!!" that Lee Seung Hyun immediately buried his head on Jiyong hyung's chest. Even if I choose not to hear and see it, somehow I saw how redder Jiyong hyung's face was. Yet, this time, it was red of shyness. Something twisting inside my stomach, it ache.             Wookie hyung placed his palm on my shoulder, giving me a little squeeze. He had his eyebrows narrowed, his eyes that occupied with nothing but apologetic were shoting right through mine. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't hold my tears back. I couldn't swallow my blue down through my throat, like how I couldn't accept that fact. And eventually, my tears leaked from the corner of my eyes as Wookie hyung pull me into a hug.             Jiyong hyung, wae?          °          °          °                  "Yah, little brat. Let's stay as a family. Only you, Wookie hyung and me, just the three of us. I know that we aren't blood-related, but who cares, right?"             "Neh hyung, you're right. Stay as a family, huh? Okay, let's do that."              Pfft, stay as a family. When I had nowhere else to go, wandering around at the sleepless street was the right choice. I managed to escape myself from staying at Wookie hyung's apartment. I guess I just couldn't stay in the same room with that Lee Seung Hyun. I squeezed my eyelids down, but I still could see how the way Jiyong hyung look at that Lee Seung Hyun behind this closed eyelids.              Why am I being like this?              A groan slightly crept through my lips as I shook my head. It's okay Daesung, you could forget Jiyong hyung, he has someone else now. Although you don't have any blood-related with him, he's still your hyung, he's still a family. You could only have a dongsaeng-hyung-love relationship with him. So just forget him, neh Daesung?  This lately, I'd been talking to myself inside. The thing that I always talk about was trying to forget Jiyong hyung. How could I forget him if I kept on thinking about him? Ah, Jiyong hyung's stupidity has really had affect on me. I'd became