On the first year…

The moment we first met. I remember the time you step into our house. I was 15 back then. You were on your first year in college. You introduced yourself to me, “Hello, I’m Kyuhyun, your new tutor”.  I thought when I first saw you; you were arrogant, proud, and very disagreeable. I told my mom that it won’t work but she insisted. “Kyuhyun will be just perfect.” She said and I just laughed, if only it’s not for her, I won’t agree. You were very formal, you talk less and you never smile. It’s funny that I get used to it, and yes, we made it for a year… and you know what I grew crush on you, I don’t even know why. God knows how I tried to dismiss the feeling because I’m not supposed to feel it. But the worst thing happened… I happened to love you.  For the first time, I fell in love…

…but I shouldn’t be…

On the second year…

We’re still together. I learned many things about you but of course you didn’t know. You never told me a thing about yourself, so I find a way to know you. Stalker, as you may call it, but I can’t help it.  Every time we spend time together, though we only talk about school stuffs… every time you post sticky notes of those points to remember in my study table while I’m sleeping… every time you scold me whenever I get lazy on doing my homework… every time you say “Good job!” whenever I do good on my exams… I just feel so happy. For the first time I felt happiness…

…but I know it won’t last…

On the third year…

Time passes and you learn how to communicate with me. For the first time you asked about my life. I was surprised because you were so eager to know more. You give me gifts and rewards whenever I do well in school. You were happy, and I too. You learned how to have fun around me. “You’re too cute wook" you said to me. I won't forget that, the very first time you call me by my nickname.  And that’s it; I can’t contain my feelings anymore. For the first time I see your smile.

…but I don’t want to get used to it…

On the fourth year…

Now you’ve graduated and I’m entering college. You were still here.  That time I just hope you stay away from me, because my feeling just doesn’t go. It’s still there. It just grew more. I tried so hard to avoid you, but I failed, because it’s impossible. I just want you to vanish as well as my feelings… because I know soon, you’re leaving, and I know my heart won’t be able to handle it. For the first time I cry.

… and I know this will happen…

On the fifth year…

“Take care love”

“Keep safe baby”

“I love you”

I always here that from you. Every time you speak out those words, I can’t help but feel the tingling sensation that resonates throughout my body… and I wasn’t supposed to… because it’s not for me… and soon… you’ll be married.

You’ll be married to girl who you waited for five long years…

you’ll be married to the girl who you think is the loveliest girl in the world…

You’ll be married to the girl we both love the most…

you’ll be married to my sister.

For the first time I broke.

…and now I’m hurt…

How I wish all those words were directed on me…

How I wish the reason behind that sweet smile was me…

How I wish you would touch me like I’m the most fragile thing in the world…

How I wish I can hold you and hug you tightly like what I always dreamed of…

How I wish those lips I’ve been longing to feel was landing on mine…

How I wish I didn’t love you in the first place…

But all of this is just a wish…

How I wish… How I wish…

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a/n: I know.... it's crappy... it's ty... yeah... 'em sorry... kkkk~ well , i'm actually an angst lover guys.. i'm sorry for giving you this... a one unhappy ending won't hurt right? i guess?... please forgive me...

~well, i'm giving you stones guys... you can throw it to me now. i'm giving you all the permission~ heheh~

and oh! i almost forgot, i have poster for this but the internet connection is a now, so maybe i'll upload it soon...

yeah...

 anyways...

it's late but i still want to greet them... "HAPPY 7 YEARS OF LOVE KYUWOOK!"

 LOVE LOVE LOVE!  ^^

so i think that's all for now folks! :)