Her lips were against my cheek, mine against hers. We were frozen in place because of shock, slowly getting drenched in the rain. I didn’t know who moved away firstm but all I knew was that I was running away from her. I had enough time to look at her wide eyes mirroring mine, her hand reaching out to touch her cheek.

I was soaking wet and I could barely see. My feet knew the way to where I lived, luckily, and I was home safely in a matter of minutes despite being wet. I took off my shoes, walking immediately to the bathroom, and slammed the door behind me. Slowly, I slid down to the cold tile floor, hugging my knees to my chest and leaned my forehead against my arms.

“Soojungie! Are you home?”

I didn’t answer, shivering as I sat there. What was happening to me? I shouldn’t be reacting this way towards Amber.  Heck, I shouldn’t even be hanging out with her. She didn’t follow any rules and she was just so different. As cliché as it sounded, she lived in a world so different than mine. She was so different from me.

Yet we were both afraid of the same things. But is that enough for me to fully understand her or even grasp a little of her as a person?

Like any other human being, I was afraid. I was afraid of feeling this way. Of being so…so nervous every time I’m with her. No matter how much I told myself to calm down, I couldn’t. She was the first person to throw me off balance -- physically, emotionally and internally.

A knock on the door interrupted my train of thought.

“Soojungie. I know you’re in there. Your shoes are wet from the rain. Make sure to dry them. I told you to always bring an umbrella with you,” my sister said from the other side of the door.

“I get it. Now leave me alone. I’m going to shower.” I reply, finally standing up and peeling each and every piece of clothing off of my body.

“Okay... Dinner’s ready in twenty.”

When she left, I entered the shower and took the longest shower I ever had until my fingers resembled prunes. It was nice to feel the lukewarm water against my skin after braving the weather. I finally relaxed after a stressful day at school, blocking away all thoughts of a blonde Taiwanese.

After showering, I took on a pair of comfortable pajamas and a huge t-shirt and walked to the kitchen while drying my hair. My sister was still preparing food in the kitchen. We were having ddukbokki for dinner.  I walked towards the kitchen, leaning against the counter as I watched her cook.

Before, it used to be the three of us helping each other out here in the kitchen. I would cut the vegetables and prepare other ingredients, my sister would watch as my mom cooked and took over so she could learn. And just when we’re about to finish, my Dad comes home, walking immediately to the kitchen to give the three of us a kiss on the cheek.

“My princesses,” he would say. After that my sister would joke about mom being far too old to be a princess, my dad chiding her while I would try not to laugh as my sister and mother argued.

It still hurt and I still felt. After four years, whenever memories like this resurfaced it’s like the ache in my chest became a fresh wound again and the hollowness that their death grew bigger in bigger.

“Sis, are you okay?”

I blinked, the memory disappearing replaced by my sister looking at me with a concerned expression on her face. Her hand was on my arm, warm and familiar. Alive. Before I knew it, I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my face against the crook of her neck and held her tightly in my arms. She jumped a little, but securely wrapped her arms around me as well, my hair.

I don’t know how long we stood there. But when we pulled away, she took my hand and pulled me to the dining table. I sat down beside her, offering her a small smile. My place had always been beside hers. While dad was in the middle and mom was on the right side. We didn’t let people sit on those two spots in our table since their death.

She served me food and I let her. Ever since our parent’s passing, she acted as my mother. Sooyeon worked two jobs: a waitress job in the day until three-thirty and a babysitting job that started at seven. She had Friday and the rest of the weekend off. But as much as possible, before she went to her babysitting job, she made me dinner and ate with me.

“What’s wrong?” She asked me as we were half-way finished with our meal.

I froze a little. She noticed my reaction and looked at me sternly. A look that demanded me to answer her or she won’t be amused. This was one of the reasons why I could never hide anything from my sister. She had the intuition of a God. No matter how much I say nothing was wrong, she would always pressure me until I spilled the beans.

If it were any other circumstance, I would have come up with something else. But I really needed to talk to her or else I’d lose my mind. Sighing, I put down my bowl and chopsticks, looking down.

“There’s this girl…” I began, looking up to study her expression. She was looking at me patiently, waiting for me to continue. I sighed again. “She’s been very…friendly to me and I don’t know if I can reciprocate that. We’re different… I don’t know if I’ll be a good….friend.”

Sooyeon sighed and I looked up again, seeing her smiling at me. “Invite her over tomorrow. I would love to meet this new friend of yours.”

“But she’s not—“

“Jung Soojung,” she said, voice reminding me of my mother’s when she was angry.

Her face softened, the sternness gone and she reached for my hand, turning in her seat to look at me. “It’s been four years. Four years since you said the word friend, worried about someone else and had normal teenage problems. I don’t even see you writing on your notebook anymore and I’m happy for that. I’m happy that I finally get to see my little sister having a normal high school life. So please.”

All the words of protest died inside my throat. I looked at her, then looked at our hands. How can I say no to that? With a small smile, I squeezed her hand, nodding. “Alright.”

She smiled radiantly and she looked so beautiful but tired. We resumed eating shortly after and she told me about a handsome customer who often frequented the café she was working in. He was tall and resembled those comic book flower boys who were rich and had flashy sport cars and high class condominiums. I listened to her, asking her things, smiling and laughing at the right time but my thoughts were elsewhere.

The doorbell rang and we both looked at the door. Who could have been at this hour?

“I’ll get it. Finish your food,” Sooyeon said. I nodded, finishing my second bowl of ddukbokki as she answered the door.

I heard it open and a voice I recognized a little a long with Sooyeon’s mixed. I heard them talking a little, my sister gasping and used her overly perky and happy voice she used when she was happy. I dropped my chopsticks and rushed to the entrance of the house and gaped.

It was Amber. She was a little bit soaked but she was still smiling at my sister. When Sooyeon turned around, she looked past her and right at me.

“She says she’s your friend, Soojungie. I didn’t know you had such a handsome friend,” she said, winking at me.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “She’s a girl, unnie.”

“Really?” She asked and turned to look at Amber from top til toe. “Well, then.”

I walked past her and stood in the middle of them, facing Amber. “Why don’t you go back inside and I’ll Amber out, unnie.”

“But she just got here! And look at how wet she is.”

“Unnie…”

Amber spoke up, cutting through our conversation. “I don’t intend to stay too long. My mom is expecting me home soon. I just wanted to give this to Soojung.” I raised a brow as she turned around and started searching through her bag. After a few minutes, she pulled out my indoor shoes. I took it from her and she smiled a little, closing her bag and bowed at my sister. “I’ll be going now.

I stared at her back as she lifted her umbrella and walked outside in the heavy rain. My sister nudged me, gesturing towards her. “You’re not that heartless,” she said, walking back inside and left me there.

I ran my hand across my face. Why did she have to guilt trip me?

“Amber!” I shouted. She turned around, blinking at me. “Come inside. The shower is to your left, there are extra towels on the first cabinet and I’ll bring you a change of clothes.” With that, I turned around and left the door open for her, walking upstairs.

Once she was out of sight, I banged my head against the wall, exclaiming in pain. Stupid. Shouldn’t have done that. But what’s even more stupid was what I just did. How could I invite Amber inside our house? I should have just left her to walk home herself. She was perfectly capable and old enough to fend for herself.

Then I remembered how alone she looked. The way her shoulders slumped and how her eyes brightened when I invited her inside.

Sighing, I walked towards my closet, scanning my clothes with my eyes and immediately noticed that Amber wouldn’t possibly wear these. But I spotted a rather large Snoopy t-shirt that I used as my sleeping wear back when I was younger. I held it up and the shirt looked like it’ll fit her and also took one of my gray sweats.

I hated letting others borrow my stuff. I almost wanted her to borrow some of Sooyeon’s clothes but my sister was thinner than me and she didn’t wear any loose clothing aside from her cardigans which were her prized possessions. She won’t even let me borrow them.

Just endure. This’ll just be until her clothes dry and the rain stops.

I walked downstairs with a heavy heart and knocked at the bathroom door. “I have some clothes for you.”

“I’m done. Be out in a sec!” Amber shouted back.

I tapped my foot against the wooden floor impatiently. After a few seconds, Amber opened the door and my eyes widened at her appearance. Her blonde hair was wet, covering half of her face while water dripped down her face. She was wearing a towel around her body and she used a smaller one to wipe her hair. Her skin was shimmering because of the water and she was smiling at me.

Making yourself at home, huh.

I coughed and looked away, shoving the clothes at her and walked to where my sister was. She greeted me with a knowing smile and I glared at her. “Just until the rain stops.”

“It’s going to rain until tomorrow afternoon. Do you really want to send her home when it’s this late?” She asks casually as she washes the dishes.

Groaning, I plopped down on the sofa. “Ugh. You are evil.”

She laughed. “No, I’m being nice to your friend.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that she’s not my friend?”

“As many times as you wish, Baby Jung.”

I groaned again, hiding my face behind a pillow on the sofa. At this time, Amber entered the living room in my clothes. I just stared at her and groaned again, burying my face against the pillow again.

“Is she alright?”

“Totally,” my sister said, sounding way too amused for my liking. “Now why don’t you make yourself comfortable there while I make us some tea.”

I couldn’t even stand a whole school day with Amber. How can I survive a whole night?

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A/N: A longer chapter this time, yay! I'll be quite busy soon because of school so I'm updating this as much as I can. Only a few weeks left of freedom before my final year. I hope I'll have time to update this once in a while. How do you guys like the development between Amber and Krystal? ;)

@JungPRINCESSpet:

Thank you, dear! I promise you there will be more chapters to come~