It all started with that damned pencil sharpener. Weeks after that incident, Amber seemed to have developed an interest on me. She would go out of her way to visit some people in my class, talking to them, yet her gaze was always on me. When I felt uncomfortable, I would walk outside and a few minutes after she would follow me to the roof.

I tried not to mind. She wasn’t loud nor did she talk to me. But she was there. I knew she was because I could feel her eyes on me. One day I was just fed up and closed my notebook and met her eye.

“Why?” I asked in a slightly irritated tone.

She smiled that goofy smile of hers. How I hated that smile. She sent that smile to me a couple of times when I met her gaze. She didn’t answer and just looked at me. I stood up from the ground, heading towards the door without a word.

“Let’s be friends,” Amber shouted, jogging up to catch me.

“No.”

“Why?”

I rolled my eyes. “Just because.”

“Because you’re afraid?”

I stopped in my tracks, whipping around so that I faced her and glared. “Because you’re no better than the rest of them,” I answered.

She looked at me curiously, blinking. “Who are ‘the rest of them’ exactly?”

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes again, I just shook my head. There was no use explaining to her. Someone who was loved by everyone around her would never understand how it would feel like to be judged for being who you are.

“Just forget about it. Don’t talk to me anymore.”

With that, I my heels and left her there, relieved that she did not follow me. I hopped down the last flight of stairs when two girls blocked my way. They were giving me intense glares and I noticed and ‘Prince Amber Fanclub’ pins on their right pocket.

The taller girl with large doe eyes and straight jet black hair spoke first. “Why are you letting Amber oppa follow you around?” She asked. Her voice was high-pitched and girly, making her question seem less serious. I grimaced. I hated people with high-pitch voices.

I decided not to answer and tried to sneak my way past them. But it was no use. They cornered me on the stairs. The only way to escape was up. I hoped that Amber will stay in the roof until I’m done dealing with these two. If they knew that she followed me to the roof and it was only just the two of us, they will grow even more suspicious of our relationship and make my life a living hell.

The second girl who was shorter and less intimidating raised a brow at me, sizing me up. “You’re not even fit to be friends with our Amber oppa. Don’t act like her princess.”

I shuddered. They noticed my reaction and their eyes widened slightly. I honestly wanted to say something about how Amber is clearly a girl and that they were looking absolutely ridiculous thinking that they will scare me. In the end I decided not to bother because their delusional minds wouldn’t even register a word I will say.

Ms. Chubby Cheeks pushed me, making me take a couple of steps back. “YAH! We’re talking to you, !”

“Taeyeon ah, Sooyoung ah.”

We all looked up, seeing Amber take two stairs at a time to meet us. I scooted closer to the railing, giving her a glare. I don’t know if the two other girls saw it, but she also winked at me. What.

“A-Amber oppa.”

“H-Hi.”

It was like watching a pair of violent wild dogs change into cute little puppies. They were batting their eyelashes at Amber and biting their lower lip, acting all innocent and nice. I wanted to barf.

Amber walked in between the three of us, steering the both of them away. “What are you guys doing here? Class is about to start. Let’s get back to class.”

As she walked with them the two girls grabbed each of her arm and started giggling and laughing at everything Amber said. I guessed they were laughing at me. Shrugging, I walked on the opposite direction.

“Soojung ah!”

I turned around instinctively at the sound of my name, watching Amber wave at me enthusiastically. “I’m not like the rest of them!” Rolling my eyes at her, I started walking swiftly to my own classroom. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips but I bit my lower lip to stop myself.  This was ridiculous. Amber was ridiculous.

Amber showed me how she wasn’t like the rest of them the next day. She was waiting by my shoe locker with her earphones on, bobbing her head as she listened to some music. I wondered briefly what kind of music she liked then dismissed the thought, immediately exchanging it for a ‘why is she here’ one.

Thankfully I didn’t see Sooyoung and Taeyeon the rest of yesterday. But the thought of having to deal with either or both of them today pissed me off. So when I reached my locker, I took off my shoes, exchanging it with my indoor shoes and walked away from Amber.

As expected, she jogged after me, walking beside me. “Did your parents teach you to be rude?”

“My parents are dead,” I answered her.

Amber’s eyebrows furrowed, patting me on the shoulder even though I shrugged her off. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“They died a long time ago and it isn’t even your fault. Don’t bother apologizing.”

“You know, this is the most you’ve said to me in weeks.”

I stopped in my tracks, looking at her. “And?”

She smiled brightly at me. “It means we’re starting to be friends.”

The bell rang. I thanked God for the timing and watched as Amber waved, leaving me alone in the hallway. I turned to the other direction, scoffing. “Friends? With who?”

Class resumed as usual and the lunch bell rang. Since I was feeling like eating today (I skipped over breakfast since I woke up rather late.), I walked towards the cafeteria.  

Maybe it was just my paranoia but instead of staring at me and calling me names, people were…avoiding me.  Those who did try were immediately shushed by their friends, whispering in voices too low for me to hear.

Something must be up.

When I entered the canteen, I had this eerie sense that everyone was talking about me before I entered. I walked towards the counter, taking a tray and some kimchi soup, rice and water then paid for it, walking to an empty table with left-over milk cartons and trays with half-eaten food.

I ate in silence. Not minding the feeling that dozens pairs of eyes were focused on the back of my head. The soup warmed my growling stomach. The rice was a bit dry, but edible. I sipped from my glass and almost choked when someone pulled a chair from under the table and sat beside me.

I looked sideways, setting down my glass on the table, staring at her.

“You looked like you saw a ghost,” she commented with her usual smile. After that, she started eating as if nothing was unusual with the most popular girl in school sitting with the most hated girl in school.

After I recovered from my shock, I slammed my hand against the table, startling her and everyone around me who had started chattering like old women and glared at her. “Why are you here?”

She gestured at her spoon, chopsticks and food.

“I know you’re eating. But why are you eating on my table?”

“Did you buy this table?”

“I didn’t but—“

“Then it’s not yours and I can sit wherever I like,” she answered smugly.

I stood up, walking out of the cafeteria and as usual, she followed me. I walked up to the roof, slamming the door open. I started pacing, my hand on my hip and the other on my forehead. Why is she making things so complicated? Why can’t she just leave me alone like everybody else?

Amber closed the door gently behind her, locking it. I raised a brow at her.

“Why did you lock the door?”

“So we’ll be alone.”

My eyes widened into slits and I started backing away from her. “Why do we need to be alone?”

She dropped the smile, looking very serious and so unlike her. “Because I have something to tell you.”

I gulped nervously, looking around to find a place to hide, only for my back to collide against the steel net surrounding the roof. She approached me, stopping so close against my body I could feel her breath against my cheek. For some reason, I couldn’t speak nor move, paralyzed by those eyes that met mine so intensely.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m really serious about being your friend. I’m not like everyone else who calls you names and thinks you’re stuck up for not talking to them. I am not going to call you Ice Princess, though Princess does suit you. I just don’t want you being alone.”

I somehow managed to find the strength to glare. “So you’re pitying me.”

It wasn’t a question yet she answered me by shaking her head gently. When she looked at me again, her smile was soft and warm. “I just know what it’s like.”

I couldn’t believe it. She knew what it was like to be hated without reason? To be looked at as if your mere existence caused everyone discomfort? Terrorized, because they were afraid of you?

“Why don’t you listen to my story?” She asked, taking a few steps backs to let me breathe. “I won’t lie to you. If you decide to still not be friends with me by the end of this term, I won’t bug you. Everyday, at lunch, we can meet here. So no one will interrupt us. Deal?”

I looked at her. Really looked at her. For some reason, I could feel she was different. She seemed really genuine about this whole friendship thing and for some reason, I couldn’t refuse. So I sat down, hugging my knees against my chest and refused to meet her gaze.

“Start then...”

I sneaked a peek enough to see her smiling widely at me before she sat beside me so close our shoulders touched. “Don’t get so close to me.”

“Why? Afraid you’d turn me into a hot ice sculpture?”

“Shut up and start,” I said, rolling my eyes.

She laughed, and it was a musical laugh. A laugh that wrapped around me like a blanket, making me feel warm. No one smiled at me like that before.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

She started, but I could barely pay attention to her words. 

Only the beating of my own heart.