Goodbyes weren’t meant to be easy. They were meant to leave something behind, even if the person is gone: memories. It’s funny how the brain can capture and save so many different events yet when you think about it, they might not be as accurate as you think they are.

We add little bits and pieces here and there, wanting to make the memory seem even more real, vivid, beautiful, funny, or sad.

It’s even funnier how just one memory can call up so many different emotions. As if you’re back at that exact moment. Living in the memory.

Our goodbye was the most painful. A part of me wished that I never fell for you. A part of me fought still because I knew the pain worth it. I was right.

High school wasn’t too kind to me. You see, I’ve always been a loner. I did not have much friends. Or well, friends at all. My nickname was -- yes, you guessed right -- the Ice Princess. Rumors started spreading around how in middle school, I only talked to my shoe locker and the plants I was asked to water every once in a while. Others thought that I was too proud to talk to them and gave me looks filled with resentment.

I never really understood them. And they never really understood me. So I guess we’re even.

Mostly, I spent time just observing people. I wasn’t interested in their talks about SHINee and all of those other boy bands girls seem to fawn over. I wasn’t interested in fashion or nail art either.

What I liked was writing. But no one really talks about writing nowadays. Except to write fanfiction about their oppas confessing their love for each other and, after a few moments, end up suddenly having .  Fanfiction is not what I loved to write.

I wasn’t a bad student despite my disinterest in my classmates’ casual conversations. I paid attention in class but only when the topic tickled my fancy. Otherwise, I would write things in class when I’m bored. Ideas of what I could write about when I had more confidence about my writing.

They were mostly sad and tragic ones. They appealed to me more because somehow, I felt they were more real. Rather than fairytale happy endings, I preferred broken hearts.

It was by this method that I met her.

That one person who really tried to be closer than anyone ever had.

Amber Josephine Liu was her name.

She was popular, like me, but for a whole different reason entirely. While I was popular because many disliked me, she was the opposite.

Not many girls would wear a boy’s uniform at school. But because she was the daughter of one of the school’s benefactors, they let her. She grew up in America, mostly so she was pretty laid-back and friendly to everyone. 

Boys didn’t match up to her, really, and they were kind of put off because all the girls wanted to date her or be her friend. The former in most cases, not the latter. Some even started a “secret” fanclub.

Friendly, always smiling and not to mention she was extremely attractive. Always wearing her easy smile, the aura surrounding her that made everyone approach her so easily, her voice that made you feel so warm and-- I’ll stop there. I’m not like one of her delusional fans. It just so happens that she was always there in my field of vision. Not my fault.

Where was I? Ah yes. The day she first spoke to me was a perfectly normal day. No talking to people equals no trouble or nuisance. As always, my recess time was spent on my desk, writing. I always skipped over lunch, a bad habit I developed from when I was young.

With my hair was covering half of my face, no one could see what I was doing but they knew. As per usual, I was writing my newest story idea on my new notebook because the old one was out of pages.

I liked the fact that there were close to no students inside the classroom save for two girls I didn’t know the names of. It gave me more peace to write. So many ideas were cropping up in my mind. I felt that if I didn’t write all of them, I would lose something valuable.

Like a memory.

My pencil were fast and strong until I heard a snap. This awoke me from my trance as I looked at my broken pencil, blinking.

I turned around, lifting my backpack from the ground and put it on top of my lap, searching for my pencil case. When I opened it though, my pencil sharpener wasn’t there. I searched my entire backpack but it still wasn’t there.

“Jung Sooyeon....” I whispered underneath my breath as I raised my backpack and let it fall on the ground. My older sister must have taken it without my permission again as always. I hated it when people touched my things.

This meant I needed to borrow. If I could find another way, I would. I wasn’t sure how people would react to me borrowing something from them and might call me names instead of actually let me borrow one.

I looked up and tried to find someone I could ask for a pencil sharpener but the two girls were gone. I was alone. Frustrated, I started rubbing the back of my ear with my pointer finger and looked at my broken pencil. Do I go out? No, there were too many people loitering in the hallway. I didn’t want to walk past them and hear their whispers and snickering.

“Here ‘ya go.”

I recognized that voice. Looking up, I met the eyes of the Taiwanese heartthrob, but looked down immediately. Why her out of all people? I can only imagine the looks some of the girls will give me later if they found out.

Grabbing the pencil sharpener she gave me, I murmured a quick ‘thanks’ and hastily sharpened my pencil, handing it back to her almost immediately. I picked up my notebook but I wasn’t paying much attention so it fell down.

Before I managed to grab it, Amber had already picked it up, dusting it, and then handed it back to me. I grabbed it just as quick as I grabbed the eraser and as fast I could, walked outside of the classroom.

That was so embarrassing! Why am I such a klutz? In front of her, too. She must be laughing at me right now behind my back like the rest of them.

All of these thoughts ran through my mind when suddenly, someone tapped my shoulder. I swung around, almost hitting the person because of sheer reflex, but I was stopped by a strong grip on my wrist. Blinking, I saw that it was none other than Amber. She had followed me.

“You look scared. Sorry. But this part of the page got ripped off,” she said in her awkward Korean. With a smile she handed me a piece of torn paper with my handwriting. I took it from her -- gently, this time, and thanked her, offering her a smile.

She returned my smile though it was wider this time, her eyes almost disappearing into crescents. “Smile a bit more. You look prettier when you do.” With that, she waved goodbye and went on her way.

I stared at her back for the longest time until she disappeared amongst the throng of students. Then I looked down at the note in my hands, reading it.

Soojung

I think you broke my pencil sharpener because of how hard you were gripping it. You might need to replace it. :p

-          Amber

Soojung.

It had been a long time since someone called me by my name in this school. I doubt anyone but the teachers who actually cared knew it. How did she even know my name? I was just no one.

Without any other thoughts, I ripped the paper and let the pieces fall behind me as I entered the classroom like nothing ever happened. As I resumed writing with my favorite pencil and ignored the world around me, I tried to forget about the incident.

A/N: Ohohoho hello everyone! Glad you all managed to read past Chapter 1 of this new story of mine. This is the first time I’m writing a girlxgirl fic so I hope you guys enjoyed it. What do you guys think? Will Amber leave Krystal alone? Will her fangirls cause some drama? Stay tuned for the next chapter!