Donghae is still sniffling as he shifts comfortably on the bed, his head nestled on Hyukjae’s shoulder, face half-buried into the older’s neck as he feels strong arms tighten lovingly around him. A hand is gently caressing his clothed back, giving him comforting , and there is a pair of plump lips that keeps on pecking the top of his head. The sensations tickling within his stomach makes his still swollen eyes flutter close, and he breathes in Hyukjae’s scent as he also tightens his hold around the redhead’s mid-section, snuggling closer as their legs tangle underneath the blanket.

He feels all kinds of warm and satisfied, as if there weren’t any troubles plaguing their lives at the moment.

Cuddling with Hyukjae truly is one of his most favorite things in the world.

“How are you feeling?”

Donghae opens his eyes, blinking wearily as he hums in answer. “Okay. You?”

“Much better now that you’re here,” Hyukjae says, and the blond would have elbowed him in the ribs for his cheesiness if it weren’t for their current situation. For all he knows, Hyukjae probably meant it. “You honestly didn’t cry all day, did you? Please don’t tell me you’ve been crying since you left my house earlier.”

“No, I fell asleep,” Donghae utters, closing his eyes again as he sniffles. “Ryeowookie woke me up and then I – hic!”

Hyukjae makes a confused noise in the back of his throat. “What was that?” he pulls away a little, just to take a good look at Donghae’s seemingly startled face.

“That was – hic! – hiccups.”

The redhead blinks slowly at him before his lips break into a wide, gummy smile. “You’re hiccupping?”

“What is so amusing about – hic! – that!” Donghae says indignantly, face flushing when his boyfriend starts giggling.

“You’re so cute,” Hyukjae coos. “Do that again.”

“Idiot!” Donghae whines, attempting to bury his face into Hyukjae’s chest in his embarrassment, but the older would not let him. “Not like I can – hic! – control them – hic! – god, ing stop – hic!”

Laughing heartily, Hyukjae shifts so that they are face to face before placing loud smooches all over Donghae’s face. “You’re so cute, what am I supposed to do with myself?”

“You can go yourse—hic! Ah, this is so annoyi—hic! I need water!” Donghae wails, a miserable pout forming on his lips as his lover continues to coo and giggle at him, all the while nuzzling and kissing his cheek.

*hic!*

“Hold your breath,” Hyukjae says, before suddenly rolling over, a small smirk on his plump lips as he hovers on top of Donghae.

Almost instantly, the hiccups are gone.

Hyukjae brings a hand to caress his cheek, the teasing smirk gone and replaced by a familiar, tender gaze. “I love you.”

Donghae swears he feels his heart swell, and he has to blink a couple of times to stop his eyes from watering again. “I love you too.”

His eyes automatically flutter close when Hyukjae leans down to kiss him, his thin lips puckering to meet the older boy’s plumper ones.

Truthfully, one of the reasons why he couldn’t stop himself from crying the whole day was the fact that a part of him thought he might not be able to hear those words again. He’d been afraid—so terribly afraid, that Hyukjae would meet someone else. Someone else with Donghae’s name, but not his face, nor his body, nor his heart. Someone who would have his name, but also Hyukjae’s name inked on his skin, the only thing that Donghae himself lacks.

He’d been afraid that the things he heard from other people would suddenly be proven right. That no matter how much a person deludes himself to be in love, it would all be gone the moment they meet the person who is really destined for them. And that it would happen to Hyukjae when he meets his soulmate.

A soulmate who isn’t him.

He wishes it didn’t matter. He wishes he could go on without worrying about whose name would appear on his skin on his eighteenth birthday. He wishes he could confidently say that he would still be loved by Hyukjae even if he does not turn out to be that person.

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t and it hurts, knowing that there is still that very big possibility that they aren’t meant to be, and that even if they continued to be together, the world, the gods, the heavens would never ever approve of them.

Their love would forever be invalid to others’ eyes.

“Baby…shh,” he hears Hyukjae whisper and only when there are thumbs softly wiping away the wetness in his cheeks, and gentle kisses on his closed eyelids, does Donghae realize that he’s been crying again.

He hates it.

He hates how weak he has become. How he has reduced himself into this pathetic little thing who cries over everything when just a few months ago, he was cold and strong and able to put on a brave front.

He hates how he could no longer lift his walls to protect himself from getting hurt again.

But what he hates more is the fact that he isn’t inked. That he doesn’t have Hyukjae’s name anywhere on his body. That he isn’t Hyukjae’s no matter how much he wishes to be.

“I love you.”

He hears it repeatedly, murmured gently, lovingly into his skin.

And he wishes for nothing but for those words to belong to him. Only him.

♦

“Eat up,” Sora says as she places two bowls of steaming rice and meat in front of them.

Donghae doesn’t think he has any appetite, but with the way his stomach is grumbling, he realizes he really does need to eat. He is tired—physically, mentally and emotionally—and the least he could do before collapsing is to fill his tummy.

Hyukjae eats quietly next to him, and for the next few minutes, the only sounds that can be heard within the dining room are the sounds of utensils clanking against plates.

Once they are done eating, Sora takes their empty bowls into her hands and brings them to the sink, quickly washing them.

Donghae and Hyukjae sit in silence, knowing that they aren’t dismissed yet, and that one of the most important things they probably need to know would finally be revealed by the older woman.

As soon as Sora has placed the dried bowls and utensils back on the shelves, she turns to face them, her expression solemn and seemingly just as tired as theirs.

“I’ll make this quick,” she says. “The result was negative. That basically means nothing appeared in the search results. There isn’t any existing ink out there that matches yours, Hyukjae.”

Almost suddenly, simultaneous sighs of relief are heard, and Donghae could finally feel his tense shoulders relaxing as Hyukjae takes his hand underneath the table and squeezes it.

“It still doesn’t mean anything though,” Sora continues. “I really don’t wish to be a wet blanket, but I don’t want to give you both any false hopes either. Sure, there is a chance that it’s Donghae. That the reason why there isn’t any match found is because Hyukjae’s soulmate is simply not inked yet. And it could be you,” she says, her eyes meeting the blond’s. “But at the same time, it’s also possible that there is another Lee Donghae out there who isn’t inked yet. And it could also be that Hyukjae’s soulmate has been inked but hasn’t registered or gotten scanned in The Center so they don’t have his data. There are many possibilities.”

At this, Donghae could only look away, biting his lip as an uncomfortable feeling seeps into him. He does not like talking about this. It’s enough that he knows that Hyukjae’s result was negative. He doesn’t need to hear the facts that he’s already aware of.

“So it means that unless someone else appears, we can hold on to the small chance that it’s Donghae?” Hyukjae asks, hopefulness evident in his voice. “We can just keep quiet and wait for his inking, right?”

“Well… I think it would be useless for me to ask the both of you to stop seeing each other until you are confirmed to be soulmates,” Sora says with a resigned sigh. “But please, I beg of you. Please be careful. I don’t know if you are aware yet, Donghae, but a new law will be passed regarding this. People who are not soulmates simply cannot be with each other, or the government will have to do something about it. It’s the last thing I want for the both of you.”

“Wasn’t that just a rumor?” Donghae asks, his eyebrows furrowing as he remembers the rumor he heard a few months ago, about a law on allowing only soulmates to get married. He recalls how it sparked a new topic for