Hello.

I'm alive.

I know I often disappear and stop updating without notifying my readers of what's going on with me, but I guess this has been the longest. In the past, I could manage to update at least once or twice a month (different fics though) even when I'm busy and with a constantly disappearing muse, but now I haven't been able to. I think it's the first time I actually went without any update for a whole month. I often think that I don't really need to inform anyone of what's going on, but I realized that isn't very nice especially for the people who are actually waiting for me (though there had been times when I believed no one's really waiting or that no one really cares, but now I know it's just me making up bull lol).

I'm going to be honest. The past month, there was really one point where I thought of quitting writing. Well, not in general, but just writing fan fiction. I guess, I don't know, I was kinda feeling underappreciated even though I probably wasn't. Or I couldn't see the point of even doing this anymore. There were many other things that made it difficult -- fandom issues, real life issues, priority issues, self issues. I felt rather lost and tired, and unsure of everything in general, writing included. This isn't the first time this happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last knowing me and my extreme mood swings, but I guess the recent one was the worst, due to well, many factors I'd rather not elaborate on.

But I decided I don't want to quit anyway. Maybe in the future, but not now. I still want to finish all the ongoing stories I have. I am still very much attached to these characters and stories I created that I don't want to just leave them like that. Hell, I haven't updated Thumbhaelina in a year but when I think of it, I still feel my heart clench for being unable to finish it yet. Because if I truly lose motivation for a fic, I wouldn't give a damn anymore and I'd just delete it. But I can't bring myself to do that just yet to the currently ongoing stories I have.

So even though it'd probably take me years, I still want to finish them.

Right now, I'm still highly uninspired and whenever I do try to write anything, I find it ty and I don't feel anything for it, which is why I never finish it and never update as well. But I am trying.

One of these days, I might write a drabble series. Something filled with short, not-too-related, less than 1k words drabbles that wouldn't require much commitment so that I won't feel any pressure. But for the ongoing ones, I don't know when I will be able to continue them again. But do know that as long as they aren't deleted yet from my masterlist, then it means I still care, and I would still want to finish them when I actually get the will to do so...whenever that is.

With that said, I'd like to apologize for making you all wait, and also for not bothering to inform any of you of what's really going on. I feel underappreciated, but I sometimes think it's me who don't appreciate you all enough, and I'm sorry about that. I just want to thank you all as well for still waiting anyway. As a reader of other fics, I don't know how you guys can still tolerate this slow writer lol I usually forget about the story if it isn't updated often enough, but many of you still stick around and wait. So for that, thank you. :)

In the next two months, I will be a bit busy. I'm going to work 6 days a week again, just like how I did few months ago. It doesn't mean I won't have time to update though. If I'm inspired enough, I'll still try to find time to write.

Again, thank you for your patience and understanding and sorry for the wait.