...Once upon a time - it's stories that begin with these four words that we would often hear when we're little children. Fables of untold splendor about knights riding up to save a princess, unlikely people falling in love, or finding great treasure in a lost city. It's a given that it would all end happily. So, since each and every one of our lives is a great narrative, I often wonder: If the first thing my mother said to me upon giving birth was 'Once upon a time' then could I get a fairytale ending too?...

Taeyeon looked across the road tentatively before lifting up the hood of her car. The midnight breeze was chilling so she nuzzled deeper inside the shelters of her thin jacket. Brushing away her bangs that had fallen down to her eyes, the girl absently scanned the engine of the vehicle. She had no idea why her car had slowly descended to a halt just when they were nearing Gunpo, and now, Taeyeon was outside trying to figure out a way to fix it. Letting out a solemn sigh, she peeked out of the metal wall and stared at the front windows of the car where she spotted a sleeping Tiffany. A small smile scampered across her lips unknowingly as she watched the girl breathe in and out. Like a rhythmic pendulum, Taeyeon was comforted and entranced by the soft and gentle motions of Tiffany breathing.

The girl watched for a while before shifting her focus back at the car’s engine. Scratching the back of her head, she tried to find the problem but to no avail. Every part of the machine looked the same, and she wasn’t skilled enough of a mechanic to pinpoint anything awry. A sense of regret settled within her as she thought over her lack of decision-making when buying a vehicle. Thinking that it could save her money to buy a used car, she had bought the vehicle from her cousin without inspecting its condition. Now, three or so hours on the road and she and Tiffany were stranded with no transportation.

Taeyeon gravely closed the hood of the vehicle and began pacing back and forth. She began to think up of various things she could do to get them out of this mess, and sure she could have asked for Tiffany’s help, but the girl didn’t want to wake her from her sleep. Within several minutes of brainstorming, Taeyeon gave up and slumped down on the cold tarmac of the road, her back leaning against the side door of her car. They were so close to Gunpo, just a few more miles and they would have been there. But life, like always, loved to play games with people; show them the road map to wherever they want to go, but disclose the information that there will always be an obstruction on the road. Had anyone ever wondered why people always talked about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but never have people actually talked about reaching it?

Taeyeon thought about it for a while and another question soon popped up: Why was it that every time she got close to reaching something, she could never quite attain it?



Tiffany and Taeyeon were riding a ferris wheel that overlooked the distant horizon. Splashes of refined gold had covered the land, painting everything in sepia. Above them, the long hand of darkened sapphire slowly crawled from the east, running ever so slowly until the night had finally claimed the day. Taeyeon had promised her best friend that they would go to an amusement park once she was feeling better from her first chemo session. Typically, Tiffany was a fighter and within two and a half weeks, they were able to go. With a blissful cry, Tiffany lifted her hands to the air as they slowly ascended up to the peak of the ferris wheel. 

Taeyeon looked at the girl whose hair was beginning to thin from the therapy, but to her, Tiffany was still as beautiful as ever. With an amused chuckle, Taeyeon followed after her best friend as she screamed wildly into the evening air. The cold blast of high wind swept over them, embracing the two with its chilling arms. Automatically, Taeyeon took her jacket off and began putting it on Tiffany.

"TaeTae, I already have a jacket" the girl chimed with an amused expression.

"Better safe than sorry," she simply replied as she zipped the coat up.

They were now descending back down and Tiffany couldn't help but let out a disappointed sigh. The ride was done and the sick girl didn't want to get off just yet. Grabbing the hem of Taeyeon's shirt, she pulled her best friend back to her seat and asked with a light pout to her lips, "Again?"

"We should start heading back," she explained with an apologetic expression, "look at you, you're already exhausted."

"No, I'm not" Tiffany defended but her yawn that followed afterwards said otherwise.

Taeyeon chuckled lightly, "See-"

"Just one more, then we can go home."

"No"

"Please?" Tiffany pleaded with a puppy-like expression.

Taeyeon sighed, "Okay, but just one more time and then we're done." Sitting back down, she told the ferris wheel operator that they would like to go again, and the lean man nodded. The ride started once more, slowly ascending back to the peak of the large circle. This time though, Tiffany hadn't lifted her hands out to the evening sky like a wild lunatic, no, this time she reached for Taeyeon's hands and firmly held on to it.

“My hands are cold, TaeTae” she reasoned with a warm smile.

Their fingers seemed to fit together in just the right way - effortlessly clasped, like a key to a lock or the matching pieces of a puzzle; perfect complements. Taeyeon smiled as Tiffany leaned against her shoulder, the two not saying anything while they watched the sun slowly sinking down to the horizon of the jutted plain. Marveling at the vastness of it all, they allowed the mellifluous zephyrs to brush against their skin and gently sway their unkempt hair. They were descending again, the ferris wheel preparing for the second and final round once more to the top of the circle. Dipping to the lowest point of the ride, the two girl's began to ascend a final time.

Taeyeon looked at the girl who was still leaning against her shoulder before focusing her attention back to the view before her. She didn't know how it all started, or when it gradually built up, but words began to spill out of her lips without volition. The feelings she buried deep inside gradually accumulated and in that moment, it began to seep out and Taeyeon couldn't stop it.

“Tiffany,” she started, “sometimes no amount of words are good enough to say what really needs to be said. Sometimes, the best words are the one's that are silent. Still, I can't help but tell you now, even though I know that the words are not enough to tell you how I really feel. Yet, I'll try anyways.” Taeyeon took in a deep breath and spilled all that she had kept hidden for the last three years into words. 

“So...uhhhh....” She began to wonder how to start it off, and decided that she'd start with something that was in her nature to say, “once upon a time, there was this little girl who met an angel. And the angel made her cry a lot at first, but nevertheless, the two eventually became friends. Close friends, the bestest of friends. And the little girl who used to have anxiety problems didn't have it anymore when she was with the bubbly angel. Her laughter and smile was heavenly, and it was a puzzle the little girl was more than willing to try to solve for the rest of her life. The heaven sent angel was God's gift for the girl. She cherished her whole-heartedly, for the angel could turn dirt into diamonds, water into polished sapphire, and pebbles into tempted gold with just a smile. In the light of the sun, the angel shone brighter and in the darkest of nights she was a beaming lighthouse. The girl couldn't help but fall in love. But God's gift was temporary, and He would soon make her come back home, because nothing heavenly can live on earth for too long. Knowing that, the girl who grew up alongside the angel didn't tell her of her growing feelings - until now.”

They were now descending slowly, and Taeyeon looked on ahead as she continued. “Tiffany, I don't need to look for that angel anymore cause it has always been you. So please, make my wish come true and keep fighting. You said you'd clip your wings for me, so please do that so God doesn't have to take you back home. Love is selfish, and I admit, I'm selfish for not wanting to let you go, because now I'm going to say it: Tiffany, I love you.”

The ride ended and Tiffany who was leaning on her shoulder didn't move nor say anything. Taeyeon watched with growing anticipation until her well-built confidence in her confession crumbled down upon hearing the light snoring of her best friend. She couldn't help but shake her head and chuckle in amusement as she eyed the sleeping girl. 

Maybe this was for the best.



And indeed it was. Putting her feelings into the equation now would be too messy, too complicated and too burdensome for the sick girl. Prior to the