"I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.”
- Dr.Seuss

Taeyeon let out a loud yawn as she groggily made her way downstairs from the guest room. The way down was adorned with various family portraits that hung on the walls. And by looking at them, gave people the impression that Sooyoung and Sunny valued family very highly. Smiling at the portraits that, in turn, smiled back, the short girl headed off to the kitchen. Taeyeon was greeted by a friendly face who sat on a bar stool beside a counter, and it shocked her that someone would be up at such a late hour.

"Sunny, you scared me" she said with a light chuckle.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah, so I was just coming to fetch a glass of water. You?" Taeyeon asked as she opened a wooden drawer before grabbing an empty glass cup. Turning on the faucet, she let the cup fill itself with water before lifting it up to her lips to drink.

"Same" Sunny answered. Patting the stool beside her, she signalled for the girl to sit down. "Tiffany asleep?"

"Yeah," Taeyeon answered as she plopped down beside Sunny.

"Well, that's good. Anyways, I'm sorry about this evening. My family can get quite embarrassing sometimes"

Taeyeon shook her head profusely, "No need to apologize. In fact, me and Tiffany enjoyed their company. You're quite lucky to have them."

"Yup," Sunny nodded with a wide grin, "quite lucky"

"I kind of envy you. You seem to have a great life here, no worries, no problems, nothing. You're happy, aren't you?"

"Very happy. But it'd be a lie if I said that I didn't have any problems." Sunny brought a finger to her chin, rubbing it while she contemplated her answer. “You can be happy even when faced with a lot of trials and obstacles. Happiness isn't the absence of problems,” she gave Taeyeon a knowing smile, “you should know this.”

“I should?”

“You aren't happy right now?”

“Of course I'm happy”

“Why?”

“Because Tiffany makes me happy. Nothing in this world makes me happier than her” Taeyeon simply answered. She had let the words flow out too easily, and it had come crashing to her teeth all to quickly.

“You and Tiffany must be close then?” Sunny asked.

“Very close”

“I hope you don't mind me asking, but... how does it feel?” the shorter girl enquired as she bowed her head down slightly to look at the tabletop counter.

“How does what feel?”

“To see the person you love the most hurt?”

“There's no words to describe it,” Taeyeon honestly answered because she knew that there weren't enough words to describe everything out there. 

Terminal leukaemia.
3 Months.

That was what had been ringing inside Taeyeon's mind the whole morning as she sat there on a pink cushioned chair beside a hurting girl. Tiffany was laying on her hospital bed, wrapped in white sheets, her back facing Taeyeon. The shorter girl could see the inner battle Tiffany was fighting at that moment, could see the pain in her eyes without even having to look at them. Her best friend was trying to fake that she was alright, though the little sobs of pain betrayed her valiant efforts.

Tiffany had just gone for another round of chemotherapy yesterday; her last one since chemo wouldn't be able to help her now. 

“Hey Fany,” Taeyeon started as she rummaged inside her bag to retrieve a small camera, “there was a sale in an electronics store. I bought a camera, so let's go take pictures of us, okay?”

“TaeTae?” the sick girl asked in a hushed whisper.

“Yes?”

“Would it be weird if I told you that I hate taking pictures?” Tiffany asked followed by a hoarse chuckle. Her laugh ended all too soon as a wave of pain shot through the right side of her ribcage. She winced before pushing down it with her palms.

The older girl saw the act but decided to ignore it. Tiffany was bravely trying hard to look 'okay' for Taeyeon that acknowledging otherwise would further hurt the already pained girl.

“Actually... come to think of it, you never did like picture taking,” the shorter girl answered with a disappointed frown. Placing the camera back inside her bag, she looked at Tiffany and continued “The only picture I have of you is your graduation photo, so I thought it'd be nice if we took more recent photos together.” Taeyeon paused for a second as she stared quietly at the girl, “But it's alright if you don't want to.”

Taeyeon only heard the rhythmic beats of the monitors as the room was engulfed in a frightening silence between the two.

“It's not that I don't want to,” Tiffany later explained, “It's because pictures scare me”

“Why?”

“Because the thought of only being in photographs after I'm gone is frightening. Because sooner or later, the pictures of me will be stashed away up in an attic to be forgotten in time... until they fade, become more unclear and blurred. Once the pictures that used to be vivid and true, are now more like fragments of what used to be. Like a photograph of a photograph.”

“People's memories, even the ones we hold dearly, fade in quiet swiftness like a vase of roses on a window pane. We'll go on and on with our lives, not realizing that little by little it wilts away until it's too late, and we turn our eyes back to the roses only to find a vase of dried stems surrounded by lifeless petals; the remnants of what once was. And truth be told, we're not surprised by the scene at all. We throw away the dead roses, and buy new ones to put in the vase; new memories.” Taeyeon replied before grabbing her best friend's hand that had been gripping the blanket so hard that her knuckles turned white. “But I don't see myself forgetting. The memories I cherish, the ones with you, no, I don't ever see them fading.”

They collected their world in small handfuls.

“All I want,” Tiffany started again, “is to not die when no one is beside me.”

The sick girl filled her lungs in with air and let the room be consumed in a thunderous silence for a while before breaking it with her soft voice, “TaeTae, promise to be the last person I see before becoming an angel.”

Night had fallen and the room's window that was once enraptured in light, dwindled and blackness overtook the whole pane. It gave off a lonely aura, but without darkness one could not see the stars.

“I promise” 

And if Taeyeon, who once upon a time had been a girl who promised she'd never leave her angel for as long as she lived kept her promise, it wasn't because she was hardheaded or stubborn. It was because she couldn't help it.


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