In the infinite sky of heaven's shore spills the falling rain, and I am in them, and that is eternity.

There had been a time, for Taeyeon, when the future seemed linear, something that was only made possible by the moments preceding it. Now that she was older and much more wise, she knew that it was never the case for her. The life that she had lived was never smooth, the paths she walked was never straight, and the line that consisted of all the choices she did and didn't make was never even. So like everything else, time for her was not linear, because her future will and always will be contained in her past. 

You wouldn't know what extraordinary means if you didn't know what ordinary was, likewise, you wouldn't know sadness if you hadn't already experienced happiness, because sadness, in and of itself, is the longing for past happiness.


A week after Yoona and Seohyun left.
She and Tiffany were finally in Gyeonju.



Splash Splash Splash.

Taeyeon's toes were stretched out as she lifted her feet from the crystalline water. The upward motion sent little tears to fly away from the lake's surface and up towards the baby blue sky. In the blazing glow of the sun the droplets of water twinkled like evening stars, enraptured in a spellbinding waltz with the light. The girl's feet drooped back down in concurrence with the little tears, her flesh being met by an icy kiss from the lake.

“TaeTae?” Tiffany asked with a wide grin. She was laying beside her best friend on a shaded patch of grass, the tips of her feet dangling from the edge of the riverbank as her toes grazed the water's surface.

“Yes Fany?” Taeyeon replied, watching the little swallows dart across God's ever changing canvas above.

It seemed that the infinite sky was never moving, held motionless while everything below moved from one place to another.

“What if we don't ever find an angel?” her best friend asked as she rolled to her side to face the girl, who in Tiffany's eyes, always had an answer for everything.

Taeyeon laughed, “That's silly”

“No I'm serious. What happens if we don't get that wish?”

“Fany, that's even more silly.” Taeyeon responded lightly before resting her arms underneath her head for a pillow. She closed her eyes and asked “Why are you asking anyways?”

Tiiffany shifted uncomfortably, playing nervously with her fingers. Taeyeon didn't need to have her eyes open for her to know that her best friend was hesitant in answering her question. “Spill it Fany”

“Well....” the younger girl started in an uneasy tone, “I was thinking and....”

“And?”

“And... if we're too late in finding that angel, that I could be the alternative.”

“I don't follow” Taeyeon replied, opening her eyes to look at her best friend closely.

“Well TaeTae, I've decided that I want to become and angel when I get to heaven.”

“You DECIDED to become an angel? Since when?”

“Just now” Tiffany replied nonchalantly.

“And why?”

“Because I still want you to have a wish even if I can't be there with you when you make it.” her best friend said, flashing Taeyeon a brilliant eye smile.

“And what does you becoming an angel have to do with me getting a wish?”

“Well TaeTae, you know, when I'm in heaven and become an angel, I'll ask God if I can come visit you. Because then you won't have to look no more; that wish, our wish, it's yours.”

“What?!?” Taeyeon hollered, clearly not pleased with what Tiffany had just said.

“It's the best back up plan ever!” Tiffany celebrated, flinging her arms in the air to show her excitement.

“No, that's the WORST back up plan ever!” Taeyeon admonished. “The only reason why I wanted a wish in the first place is so that you can get better. If you leave me and become an angel, then I have nothing to wish for. Dummy, did you think this through?”

“I just wanted you to get a wish! You should be thankful that you have such a caring best friend that thinks of other people before herself.”

“Well if this is what you've come up with when thinking, then you should stop thinking altogether” Taeyeon harshly replied as she sat up and crossed her arms.

“It's not my fault, okay?” Tiffany said, “I'm just worried about leaving you here all alone when I go.”

“You're not going anywhere though” Taeyeon replied in a terse manner. “We're going to find an angel, and we're not giving up until we do.”

“Really?”

“Mom said that those who never give up never truly lose.”

“What happens if-”

“No matter what.” Taeyeon interjected, “There's no 'what if's' in quests Fany. Have you ever heard of king Arthur and his knights of the round table asking 'what if' questions whenever they're on a quest? No, else they wouldn't be able to slay all those dragons!”

Taeyeon flashed her a wide smile that showed all her teeth. “I promise we'll find an angel before it's too late.”

“I don't know...” Tiffany said, still wary of her best friend's claim.

“Fany, promises are meant to be kept, if it isn't, then what's the point of calling it a promise?”

“Alright TaeTae,” her best friend voiced with another eye smile, “I trust you.”

“Pinky swear” Taeyeon added before holding out her pinky.

Tiffany responded by clinging on to it with her own. “Pinky swear” she softly repeated to herself.

...TaeTae, it's going to rain soon...

She could still hear the words that she said a few weeks ago. The time when they laughed in the rain.



“Wha-what are you doing? We're getting wet” Taeyeon reasoned in a baffled manner as she tried to drag Tiffany back into the shelter of the station's canopy.

“We were already wet anyways before getting here. Come on, be rebellious for once” The younger girl jovially voiced.




Plip.

Plop.

Plip.

Plop.

The sky grew dark around her. The bitter wind singing in melancholy as it gently swayed the branches of the nearby trees. Rolling thunder snapped from far away so that from where Taeyeon stood, the deafening cry had already dwindled down to a soft hush. It started raining, as if her best friend was crying along with her up in heaven.

Fat, heavy and cold rain drops plummeted down from sky. It appeared that today God chose grey to paint the canvas above. It sort of surprised Taeyeon, and not because she wasn't used to a grey sky but that she thought that it should have been pink. The girl gave an empty laugh as she imagined her very own best friend pestering the Almighty to let her paint the sky pink for this day.

Instinctively, Taeyeon brought her hands above her head to prevent herself from getting wet, and then it occurred to the girl how funny she looked trying to stop the rain.

She waited for Tiffany to laugh and point at her, teasing her and calling her a dork, but it didn't happen. Four days, four long days of not hearing her voice. This was the longest she had ever been separated from her best friend.



“Does it look like I am?” Taeyeon responded, “I'm so serious right now that if you look up 'Serious' in the dictionary you'd find a picture of me.”

“Really? Another one?”

“What do you mean?” Taeyeon asked with a perplexed expression.

“I mean, wow TaeTae, you're so famous! Because I googled up 'Dork' and a picture of you popped up as well! What's even more surprising is that it's used for the 'Dork' article in wiki..... Which reminds me, I still have to contact the person who wrote that article and complain, because saying that you're a dork is in and of itself an understatement, but then again, you can't rely on wikipedia for the truth anyways.” Tiffany retorted with a grin before languidly hopping on to Taeyeon's back. 



It was scary how many times people take the little things for granted. Taeyeon would give anything, trade anything, do anything, for her best friend to with those gentle eyes again.

Was this what sadness was all about? Was it what comes as the aftermath of all beautiful memories after a terrifying storm? Surely she had nothing left after braving the hurricane; the cherished photographs that was clutched tightly to her chest had been blown away by the violent winds.

What she felt though was not just sadness, but something greater and much more heavy. It wasn't just the want for her remembered happiness that fed the growing sorrow, but on a promise the couldn't be kept.

Her broken promise that they would find an angel before it was too late.

The rain stopped hitting her and she turned around expectantly, hoping that it would be her best friend who had held that umbrella, giving her a brilliant smile before lecturing her on how irresponsible she could be for not bringing an umbrella.

“Taeyeon, I don't know how painful it is for you right now, but just know we'll help you get through this. And Tiffany, well... she's in a better place now” Sooyoung said softly. She was holding the umbrella with her left hand as she rubbed the shorter girl's back with her right.

"There's no leukaemia in heaven right?" Taeyeon asked. Sooyoung was religious, so she would know everything there was to know about heaven.

"No Taeyeon, there isn't" the tall girl replied in a comforting whisper.

Taeyeon coiled her fingers around the straps of the travelling bag that dangled on her shoulder. Her's and Tiffany's travelling bag, the one they carried with them along the road. She couldn't dare let go of it. Tiffany's possessions were in there, and in some way, the bag symbolized their beautiful journey. Seconds passed before she finally said, “I want to say thank you for coming. You and Sunny both. Fany would have wanted you guys t